Humourfgoosetxt part8
by Hot Milfs Blog
I once had a friend named Joe Gordon. He was a miner who
worked down in southeast Ohio in the coal mines. One fine Monday
morning in the spring, Joe was shaving and listening to the radio
when the disk jockey said, “… and we hope you all remembered
that Daylight Savings time started over the weekend. Otherwise,
you’re an hour late!”
“Oh no!” Joe thought to himself. “I’m going to be late for
work!!” So Joe hopped in his car and drove off to work.
Now, it just so happens that in the area where Joe lived,
the roads were very narrow, and little more than ruts in the
ground. It was impossible to pass anyone on these roads. There-
fore, you can understand how upset Joe got when he rounded a hill
and saw in front of him a little old lady driving 3 miles per hour!!
After about five minutes of this, Joe got really ticked. He was
thinking of someway to get rid of this lady, when he saw an emergency
telephone off to the side of the road. So what does he do? He hops
out of his car, runs over to the phone booth, and calls the cops,
who come and arrest the little old lady!! Do you know what the
charges were???
Simple: Contributing to the delinquency of a miner !!!
[Father Goose #42]
A young woman got married a few years back. Her husband was a service
respresentative for a well-known computer firm, and was kept out of the house
a great deal by equipment that kept breaking, his beeper, and his boss.
About a year ago, his brother got back from an expedition in central
Australia, collecting sand specimens for his dissertation in comparative
soil mechanics. He had no where else to stay and no money, so he moved in
with the happy couple. That’s when the trouble began.
This brother really liked baked ham. But he always remembered the way his
father died, choking on a clove bud which had decorated the top of the
ham. If there were just a few cloves in the ham, he wouldn’t say anything.
But if there were more than three, he would get up and storm out of the
room.
One day the brother came home late from work. He had been making repairs
to his triaxial test machine, and boy was he hungry! The problem was that
the baked ham had four cloves, and (because he was late) it was too well done.
Our intrepid service representative got home later that night, and found his
wife making airline reservations to go home to her mother in East Snapbeckon.
“What are you making reservations for?” He asked.
“I’m booking over that four-clove leaver, though I’ve overcooked before!”
[Father Goose #43]
This frog walks into a bank to get a loan. He steps up to the
counter and asks for an application from the clerk, Patty Wack.
“Hi, I’d like to fill out an application for a loan”, said
the frog. Patty Wack replied, “Do you have any collateral for
this loan; something to stand against your loan.” The frog
replied, “All I have is this statue of a unicorn.” “Well,
I don’t know,” said Patty Wack, “I’ll have to ask the manager about
this.” Patty Wack goes to see the bank manager. The bank manager
looks at the statue and replies:
“Knick Knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan.”
[Father Goose #44]
A group of guys used to get together once a week to play poker. Well, one of
the guys died; but his ghost continued to join in the poker games as before.
On one of these evenings, the ghost got five beautiful hearts in his very first
hand, and he bet his stack.
Unfortunately, one of the flesh-and-blood players had a full house and raked in
the pot — another case where the spirit was willing but the flush was weak.
[Father Goose #45]
It seems there were two frogs sitting on a lilly pad, when all
of a sudden, a fly came along. One frog put out his tongue, ate the
fly, and started laughing histerically. Soon the other frog joined
in the laughter.
Later in the day, the other frog ate a fly and the two frogs
burst out in laughter. As time went on, the frogs enjoyed the flies so
much that the sight of a fly would cause them to double up with pleasure
(if it’s possible for frogs to double up!). But of course, the most
pleasure came when the fly was actually eaten.
A third frog hopped up to the first two and asked what
was so funny. The first frog answered “Time.” “Huh?” asked the third frog.
The second frog exlained:
“Time’s fun when your having flies”
[Father Goose #46]
Back in the days of the old west, somewhere in Kansas, there lived a
rancher named Fred Holt.
One day Fred found himself in need of supplies so he headed off to town
to restock. After picking up all he needed, Fred decided to stop off at
the local saloon for a warm one (no refrigerators in the old west).
As he was standing there quietly drinking his beer, who should
approach but his neighbor Sam Leed. Now Sam was in a vile mood concerning
a certain fence that Fred had recently erected. Sam felt that open range
should remain open and told Fred this in no uncertain terms. A violent
argument ensued, ending only when the two parties were pulled off of each
other and escorted out of town.
Fred went on home and settled in for the night, but about midnight was
suddenly awakened by a commotion. He looked out and discovered that his
house was on fire. Quickly he gathered his family and managed to get them
all to safety. The house was a total loss, however. Fred hitched up his
wagon and headed off to town. When he told the people what had happened,
they were outraged. There was law coming into Kansas and this wasn’t
tolerable. A possee was immediately formed and Sam was arrested.
Now it just so happened that that great detective Charlie Chan
happened to be passing through town on his way to California. It seemed
that something was funny about this case, so he decided to stay awhile
and investigate. He headed out to Fred’s ranch and proceeded to look for
clues. Right away, it was apparent that the fire had been set. An empty
kerosene can and a suspicious odor said that this was no accident. Poking
around a bit, Mr Chan found buried in the dirt an old, somewhat
decomposing breechcloth, possibly discarded by one of the conscript labor
party that had built the railroad. Most interesting, since the railroad
tracks were ten miles distant. He was onto something, but needed another
clue to tie it up. He found it in the form of a handbill, crumpled and
discarded in the corner of the barn.
Unfolding it he read “Have you seen this coin? This 1832 half dollar is
worth over $1000. We will pay you hard cash for this coin and others like
it. Write for free list. J. Abernathy, coin broker, Boston”.
Now he had all he needed to free Sam. He headed back toward town. When
he arrived, he noticed that no one was around. The town was deserted, and
worse still, the jail was empty, its door smashed. Realizing that trouble
was brewing, Charlie started running. As he neared Hanging Rock, he could
hear the angry roar of mob justice.
He entered the clearing and fought his way through the crowd while
yelling “Stop. You are making a big mistake. You are about to hang the
wrong man. The real culprit is The Lone Ranger.”
The crowd stopped and gasped. Sam, a rope already placed around his
neck, looked visibly relieved. The mob leader looked down and asked “The
Lone Ranger? How could that possibly be?”
Charlie paused, smiled, and replied “It has to be. All the clues point
to it…
A fiery ’stead with the spite of Leed
A clout of dust
And a hearty ‘Buy old Silver’
…End of the part8. To be continued..