Archive for August, 2007

MY MOTHER SUSAN part3

Friday, August 3rd, 2007

close and my view was so clear, I could see the lacy edges and the

stitching. As well, I could see her auburn pubic curls through the near-

transparent material. No panty gusset here.

Squiggling, she groaned in obvious anticipation, “Billy, you’re

saving this day from being a total bust. Thanks.”

Bending to my task, I started a slow rubbing, more a caress really,

that ran the length of the sole of her foot. Initially, softly with a slow build

up and then slowly kneading deeper, causing her toes to curl.

Accompanied by appreciative groans, I attempted to establish a level of

pleasure that might allow me to go farther.

With my head down, looking up through my eye lashes, I was

trying to drink in the vision of her exposed private place. I knew it was

risky, but at that moment, I was out of my head. I’d suddenly become a

sexually-aware and turned-on young man and the erotic thrill of that sight

had a much greater pull than the fear of getting caught.

I scooted closer and slipped under her legs, placing one stockinged

foot on my chest as I ran my hands over her calf from knee to ankle, still

staring at the darker shadow of her pussy seen inside the taut and stretched

crotch of her panties. With one thigh pulled aside, her tendon stood out,

tenting the leg of her panties a bit and exposing a rich forest of pubic curls

peeking from under the edge.

At that moment, perhaps alerted by my prolonged silence, she

suddenly looked up and saw where my eyes were looking. I expected an

explosion. Since I’d been caught red-handed, I made no attempt to look

away. Instead, I just continued to massage her calf as I looked into her

eyes. In the periphery of my vision, I could see her dress almost in her lap.

Jesus, what a moment! What was going to happen?

My mother pulled back a little and said, “There’s a problem here,

Billy.”

“Oh, shit,” I thought. “Here it comes!”

“Let me remove my hose. You can’t give me a proper massage

while I’m wearing them.”

She didn’t wait for a discussion. Instead she suddenly got up and

went into the nearby hall powder room, returning minutes later with her

hose bunched in her hand. She tossed them on the couch and sat again. I

noted that the garter belt was with the hose as it fell out in plain view. I

suppose that she didn’t give it a thought. In contrast, I was acutely aware

of her intimate undergarments lying there. My mind was whirling. Why

hadn’t she protested when she caught me so flagrantly looking under her

dress? Was she collecting her thoughts that she might upbraid me the

better?

Instead, she just smiled and said, “There! I feel better. Back to the

massage, if you please . . . and quit looking under my dress!” Her warm

smile took away any sting her words might have had.

She sat directly opposite me and demurely placed her foot back in

my lap, offering me no more than her knees and lower thighs to see. I

worked for another 30 minutes, kneading and massaging, and while I was

able to get fleeting glimpses of her thighs, I was not again able to see again

what I so desired, a close-up and unobstructed view of the crotch of her

panties.

—————————————————

From that day on, I remained aware that my mother was a very

attractive and sexy woman. And, as a consequence of that awareness, I

became increasingly familiar with all her clothes, both from the perspective

of what was stylish as well as what was revealing. I became intimately

aware of her various undergarments, not that I had many opportunities to

see her in them, but more that I couldn’t resist snooping in her lingerie

drawers.

Mother was a striking woman, tall – about 5′ 10″ – mostly legs it

…End of the part3. To be continued..

MY MOTHER SUSAN part2

Thursday, August 2nd, 2007

beneath, were not what I would have expected. As I say, I hadn’t really

expected anything, but what I saw so well that afternoon was to be

imprinted on my mind with an indelible permanence.

“Damn, my feet are tired,” she complained to the heavens. And

then, stating the obvious, “Professor Twist is so incredibly boring,”

followed by a mental right turn, “I need some excitement in my life.”

Excitement? I glanced up at her face, but she looked unchanged,

head back and eyes still closed, the picture of fatigue, or was it boredom?

Looking again at her long legs encased in shear nylons leading up to that

pantied juncture in her crotch, I suddenly had a near-overwhelming desire

to see more, to get closer. Some desires, short of compulsions, can be

modulated if for no other reason than a fear of disclosure. The strength of

this desire was not to be moderated by caution or restraint. I *had* to see

more.

Understand, I wasn’t a complete nincompoop, but as a seventeen

year old, I didn’t know much. Most of my sexual adventures came as the

result of me just being there and things happening. I suppose I was more

of an opportunist than a mover and shaker, at least in sexual things. Later,

that was to change. Anyway, I knew I wanted to get closer and hadn’t the

faintest notion how I might accomplish this . . . and keep my head on my

shoulders.

I had an idea! Hardly original and certainly not a bit creative, but it

was what came to mind at that moment and without turning it over to

examine its merits, I blurted out, “Want me to rub your feet? I know it’s

not very exciting, but you used to love it.”

Now this was not entirely without precedent, for I’d once taken a

low-grade massage course that had started with the feet and then the

hands. Most of the people in there were taking the course hoping to learn

about erotic massage. That never happened and it was not until eight or so

weeks later that we even got to the back! At any rate, I’d massaged my

mom’s hands and her forearms and feet and calves in the past. At that time

I was doing it for the practice and hardly noted that it was my mother’s

limbs on which I was working. Now, months later, she just sank deeper

into the couch and wiggled her toes, saying, “Oh, yes! Yes, indeed, yes.

Oh, thank you. Marvelous idea!”

As I was walking around the coffee table, I remembered reading an

erotic story of a young kid who massaged his mom’s legs so he could look

under her robe. Each day his mother relaxed a little bit more, the story

went, and each day he’d get a little better view. More, he was able to

move up her legs each day. “How dumb!” I thought at the time. I liked

the story, but knew it’d never work. Now, it seemed like a much better

idea.

Then, with the keen awareness of the paranoid, I thought, “If *I*

thought of this, then my mother probably did as well. She probably know

what I’m up to.” Yet her relaxed body surrender suggested otherwise as I

sat on the coffee table and said, “Gimmie a footsie, lady.”

“Footsie?” she asked, as she picked up one leg and offered it to me,

opening up the view of her entire pantied pelvis and crotch. “Since when

did you get so cute?”

“You want this massage or not?” As if I’d be content to just walk

away if she decided she really didn’t want it.

“You can call it anything you want. Just rub it for me, please.”

In retrospect, I don’t know if one might have viewed this as some

right of passage. Almost certainly not, yet it had a profound impact on me

that colored my thinking and my thoughts, seemingly to this day. I mean,

why else can I recall with such vivid clarity the texture of her skin and the

color of her clothes? Why else did this produce a deeply etched memory

that was swamped with eroticism?

Because I’d sat next to her feet on the coffee table, when she

offered me her foot, I’d pulled it slightly aside to hold it in both hands.

This caused her dress to climb still higher on her thighs and open her legs

still more. Her panties were a burnished saffron in the long light. I was so

…End of the part2. To be continued..

MY MOTHER SUSAN part18

Wednesday, August 1st, 2007

enjoyed the sexual tension.”

“Changing your clothes . . . were you flashing me?”

“Of course. I wanted to give you a thrill. But what I found out

was that *I* was the one who was getting the thrill. It got me wet,

showing myself to you. Several times – you may remember this – when I

left you to go into my bathroom, I had to masturbate. And that gave me a

thrill. Sitting on the toilet, fingers on my sex, knowing you were right out

there. I wanted you to know and at the same time, I was terrified that you

would know. Funny, huh?”

Another glance over her shoulder. “A little harder, please?”

I increased the intensity of this erotic spanking. Her cheeks were

getting pink and she was getting wetter. I could see the sheen of her juices

on my cock as I pulled it from her tight, wet sheath.

“Did you ever think about “doing it” when you were playing with

yourself, Susan?”

“With you?”

A harder slap. “Yes, with me!”

“I was really embarrassed then, even with myself, but yes, of course

I thought about it. I tried to think of other things when I was

masturbating. I tried to hold off thoughts of you, but so often – sometimes

stuck and unable to get off – thoughts, visions of you would pop into my

head and whoosh! I’d get off. After a while, I gave up and just used you

all the time. I’d day dream about you and get wet when you’d see me

dressing.”

Nodding in recall, I said, “I’d get so hard, it’d hurt. I was always

afraid you’d see me and be insulted. But it was so thrilling, I couldn’t stop.

Did you know that?”

That it was thrilling or that you got hard? I certainly knew about

your stiffies. And I knew it had to be about me. One part of me was

shocked I guess, but the stronger, the sexual part I mean, was excited. I

tried not to look, but I did. I just couldn’t help myself.”

I was brought to a halt by the intensity of my emotions. “I

*thought* you knew and averted your eyes because you disapproved.”

Laughing, I added, “I’ll never hide it again.”

Wiggling her ass, she asked, “Why’d you quit spanking me, Billy.

It was just starting to feel good. And by the way, how’d you know I

*liked* to be spanked, anyway. You seem to know a lot for a young guy!”

“I read a book once,” I quipped, as if that explained everything. I

resumed the spanking, alternating one cheek and then the other.

Arching her back, she rested her head on her forearms again and

observed, “I’ve quit trying to figure it out. I mean, I’m a feminist and a

strong woman, but I *love* to be spanked. I think it’s a sexual thing, you

know, a pleasure thing and it has nothing to do with feminism. A little

harder, if you please?”

Turning up the intensity current a notch, I slowly moved to the

bottom of her buttocks, to the crease where the cheek meets the thigh.

With only the fingers, I slapped the tender area closer to her vulva.

“Oh, YES!”

Then I moved inward, right next to the fur-trimmed swollen lips of

her cunt and continued the erotic slapping, asking, “And here?”

“Yes . . . no. I mean, spank me right on my pussy, Billy. I’ll come

for you . . . it’s getting closer . . . yes, right there . . . oh, yes, yes, yes . . .

shit, shit . . .,” and her words again degenerated into a crescendo of

pleasure as she thrust her hips further back at me. I slipped my thumb into

her cunt, pressing the soft tissue right behind her pubic bone. Thrashing

her head and beating her small fists into the pillow, she shuddered, once,

and then again, then falling into a heap, sobbing.

I held her close in my arms, patting her head and murmuring soft

sounds of loving. “It’s OK, Mom, it’s really OK. I’m here. You’re all

right.”

She nodded her head, sobbed again and with her voice catching in

her throat, said something like, “I’m OK, Billy. There’s nothing wrong

except I can’t remember when I’ve felt like this. It’s never happened just

like this before. I’ve never felt so . . . so much. It’s almost scary. But I’m

certain about one thing,” and then she stopped.

“What’s that, Susan?

“That I love you, Billy. I don’t know if we’ve done the right thing

or not, but I know that I love you. And I know that there’s no going back.

I’m not sure what to do next, but I want you to know that this was one of

the more beautiful moments of my life. I want you to know that I have no

regrets about this, about us . . . that I love you very much.

That was the beginning of a new chapter in our lives, my mother

and me. She and my father never divorced and while they continued to

have differences, at times major differences, they both were willing to show

up for their marriage and work at maintaining the good parts.

We remained the very best of friends and very occasional lovers.

Oh, we always fooled around, teasing each other, but permitted ourselves

moments like this one only at rare moments. I suppose we were rationing

ourselves, or more correctly, she was rationing me.

This little story is not meant as a case for incest. While clearly it

might work from time to rare time, for the most part, it’s too dangerous

and too wrapped in dysfunction. It’s just that this time, it did work. For

us. My life was fuller and better for it. I look back only with fondness and

pleasure and at times, wonder.