Archive for September, 2007

Humourfgoosetxt

Saturday, September 29th, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: List of Father Goose Stories
[Father Goose #1]
There were three Medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake.
There was an island in the middle of the lake, which the kingdoms had
been fighting over for years. Finally, the three kings decided [...]

Humourfemaletxt

Monday, September 24th, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Female Jokes
First Woman: “This is very embarrassing, but every time I sneeze, I
have an orgasm.”
Second Woman: “You poor dear! Are you taking anything for that?”
First Woman: “Snuff.”
————
What’s [...]

Humourfeet1sttxt

Sunday, September 23rd, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Feet First
A young girl asked her mother “Mommy, do you get into heaven feet first?”
“I don’t know, why do you ask?”
“Because the maid’s upstairs with her feet in the air, shouting `God, I’m
coming, God, I’m coming,’ but dad’s on top and won’t let her go.”

Humourfairnesstxt

Friday, September 21st, 2007

Archive-author: J. David Narkiewicz
Archive-title: In all Fairness
I wrote this because of the last story I posted,
“In HOT Pursuit of Safe Sex” which brought me over 20
letters saying to keep up the good work. Again, the story
posted has no sex in it but the word sexual is used 6 [...]

Humourequalacctxt

Thursday, September 20th, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Great Moments in Equal Access
[From The San Francisco Examiner, June 9]
International pornography magnate and accused racketeer Reuben Sturman
is converting a landmark North Beach strip joint into a big peep-show
arcade, according to city records.
City building inspectors have allowed the Sturman firm to begin tearing
out the club’s interior, [...]

Humourdoittxt

Friday, September 14th, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: How They Do It’s
CANONICAL LIST OF ‘HOW THEY DO IT’s
A king does it with his official seal.
AI [...]

Humourcriticstxt

Thursday, September 13th, 2007

Archive-author: Robert E. Epps
Archive-title: Critics!
Tim Holland and Sheila Graves checked into the Golden Swan Motel at
around 9:45 PM. The motel was one of the many establishments
clustered around Disneyland. The rooms were pretty clean, and the
price ($30 for the night) was just right for the two high school
students [...]

Humourcookietxt

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007

Archive-author: Janette Light
Archive-title: Cookie Dough better than men list
32 Reasons why Cookie Dough is better than men.
1. It’s enjoyable hard or soft.
2. It makes a mess too, but it tastes better.
3. It doesn’t mind if you take your anger out on it.
4. You always [...]

Humourcomplovetxt

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Archive-author: Jay Lewis and Pete Rourke
Archive-title: Joy of Computers
A Users Manual From The
Computer Relations Institute
The [...]

Humourcomplabtxt

Sunday, September 9th, 2007

Archive-author: RICHH
Archive-title: Computer Lab
At the time I thought he didn’t notice me. Later I found that just the opposite was true. I had
been watching him for maybe two months trying to decide what it was
about him that made my hormones go wild. [...]

Humourcoldhandtxt

Saturday, September 8th, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Changing Tires
[I got this from _They Used to Call Me Snow White...But I Drifted_
by Regina Barreca. CTM]
This couple out on a date get a flat while driving along on a snowy
night. He goes out to change the tire, but doesn’t have any gloves
so before long [...]

Humourcodestxt

Friday, September 7th, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Official Code Sheet
OFFICIAL CODE SHEET
It has been brought to the attention of the Management there is
extensive use of foul and/or abusive language in the exchange [...]

Humourchancetxt

Thursday, September 6th, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Chance
Section One – The Early Years
Chapter I – Baby Bimbo
Everyone in Larchmont knew that Chance was a tramp the day she came home
from the the hospital. At that point in her life it wasn’t the rubber pants
that gave her away, or even the fact that [...]

Humourcarwomentxt

Wednesday, September 5th, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: 15 Reasons Why Cars are Better then Women
1. You can always turn on a car.
2. You are always in the driver’s seat.
3. You can drive a car anywhere.
4. You can share a car with your friends.
5. The car will always do what [...]

Humourbuns2barney

Tuesday, September 4th, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: I Gave My Buns To Barney
Read this and weep, oh you millions who lust after dinosaur dingdongs.
This is the true story of a young girl, tender in years and thoughts,
who met RUINATION at the hands of yet another slick Hollywood type, the
one and only potentate of the preschool [...]

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