shoulders. If the inserter is sufficiently agile, he/she can
simultaneously perform fellatio on the receiver (assuming the
receiver is male, of course). Depth of penetration is shallow to
medium, but the angle of insertion is “unnatural,” and this makes
for unusual sensations. The penis contacts the anal/vaginal wall
or prostate, as with the previous position.
There are at least two varieties of the sitting position. (1)
The inserter may sit in a chair or on a sofa, while the receiver
lowers him/herself down on the inserter’s lap, facing away. (2) The
inserter may lie down flat on his/her back and the receiver sits
down on him/her, again facing away. This is another good beginner
position, since the receiver controls depth of penetration.
The “T position” has the receiver lying flat on his/her back with
knees drawn up and perhaps a pillow or two under the lower back
for elevation. The inserter lies down underneath the the bent legs
of the receiver, but at a right angle. There may be a significant
difference in comfort for the receiver, depending on which side
insertion occurs. Depth of penetration is medium.
The face-to-face standing position requires practice and considerable
agility on the part of both partners. The receiver raises a leg to
waist level, which the inserter grasps and holds. This pulls forward
the buttocks and anus of the receiver, and makes insertion from
the front and underneath just barely possible. Shallow penetration
at a strange angle is probably the best that can be hoped for,
but that this is even possible is rather remarkable.
——————————————————————-
Val was pretty well soured on both sexes. Sure, you could have a good
time with playmates, but they seemed always to end up claiming property
rights. Wanting to own you. Enough of that shit! He decided that he’d
settle for his own company for the foreseeable future.
It helped that he had started a new and better job. A well-paying and
non-demanding job. A job that involved his ass, as it happened. He was
an underwear model.
Back in their happier days when they were (literally!) “into” each other,
Warren had put him in touch with a friend who ran a modeling agency. So
now Val was making a couple of thou a week just for parading his compact
underwear-clad butt in front of photographers and advertising execs. The
lights were hot, but the work was easy and the ambiance classy. And he
did have all the required talents: the ability to freeze a pose for an
extended period of time, and even more important, a tight, muscular set
of buns.
It was too good to last, of course. As his modeling career took off
(they raved about his butt), he got more bookings than he could handle.
The fame disease befell him. They began to call him the “Ass Man,” and
his face became as familiar to the public as his backside. He couldn’t
go out shopping without being surrounded by screaming fans holding out
copies of his notorious bare-ass “Slutboy” centerfold spread for him to
autograph. He couldn’t go for a walk in his own neighborhood without women
(and sometimes men) sneaking up behind him and pinching his butt. His mail
overflowed with offers of marriage and indecent proposals in exquisite
detail from all five sexes. He had no privacy. The whole world seemed
to want a piece of him . . . a piece of ass. His ass was under siege.
Soon enough, Val got tired of peddling ass. He retired. With what was left
of his earnings, he bought a remote mountain cabin far up in the Canadian
Rockies. With no phone or electricity, he isolated himself completely
from civilization. His only companions were a neurotic Persian cat and
a custom-made set of solar-powered dildoes.
——————————————————————-
THE BOOK OF ASSES
Part V
Preventive Maintenance
The care and feeding of one’s ass has a major effect on the health,
and consequently pleasure capacity of that wondrous organ.
A healthy and balanced diet promotes healthy bowel habits and
maintains the vigor of the large intestine and the muscle tone of
the sphincter. Avoid animal fats, which can lead to rectal cancer
and other debilitating ailments. Consume generous portions of
vegetables and foods containing fiber and “roughage” and you will
be amply rewarded by regular and satisfying bowel movements.
Regular exercise, especially walking, bicycling, and swimming,
contributes to a healthy state of the digestive system and helps
shape and tone the large muscles of the posterior. Kegel-type
exercises of the anal sphincter ring maintain the flexibility and
strength of that all-important gateway to ecstasy.
Cleanliness keeps the anus healthy. Clean thoroughly after each
bowel movement, and as necessary apply salve or ointment to treat
irritation and maintain the suppleness and pleasing appearance of
that entry to the chamber of delights.
Enemas can be a useful adjunct to anal pleasure. Those particularly
sensitive to fecal residue and odors may find it helpful to cleanse
the interior of the colon with a saline enema prior to anal play. Of
course, exercise due caution in administering enemas, both to one’s
self and to a partner.
——————————————————————-
As cut off from the world as Val was, a leading New York publishing house
had somehow gotten wind of his writings and tracked him down. Having
jeeped in over potholed dirt roads and iced-up mountain passes,
the publishing executive breathlessly explained that there was a
multi-million-dollar advance waiting if he would only sign a contract for
“The Book of Asses.” A vast audience was panting for alternate sexuality
and “orifice liberation” literature. Now if Val would just sign on the
dotted line . . .
He was mightily pissed at having his privacy invaded. “How the fuck did
you find me, and what makes you think I need your filthy luchre anyhow?”
The executive smiled . . . and dropped her pants. She had a perfect ass
. . . and wasn’t that a wicked-looking dildo harness girding her loins?
“After all, we *do* know your weaknesses, Val.”
