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Her gasps became moans, first breathy, then louder as her hips moved
even more violently. She ran one hand through his hair while pressing the
other against her mouth in a futile attempt to stifle the noise. “Oh God,”
she moaned, “That feels so goooood…”

Harry would have said something in reply, but it was bad manners to
talk with your mouth full.

Not that it would be full much longer. Her moans had become cries that
she was powerless to silence. Her hips moved so violently that he had a
difficult time keeping his tongue where it belonged and he held onto her
thighs to keep her steady. The more excited she became, the farther her
clit poked out of its fleshy covering, and the easier it was to torment it.
Then her cries suddenly silenced as every muscle in her body locked and her
hips rose high off the bed, carrying Harry with them. For a timeless second
she remained like that, every muscle quivering in an explosive orgasm,
before settling back on the bed with a mighty groan.

Wow, he thought. Cindi never got off like that. Experimentally he
probed with his tongue again. She almost jumped off the bed. “No! Stop,
please… No more…” she pleaded in an exhausted whisper. Slowly Harry
uncurled himself and crawled up to rest beside her. He ran a hand along her
skin, which was cold and beaded with sweat. She rolled onto her side and
threw an arm around him, burying her face in his chest. She was shaking
like a leaf. He hugged her tight to him until the trembling subsided.

Finally she said “That was good.” She ran a hand down to his belly to
his penis. His erection had wilted, and she began to massage some life back
into it. It was not long at all before he was hard again, and she ran her
fingers tantalizingly along the length of his hard-on. She rolled onto her
back again, pulling him on top of her with surprising strength. “I want
you. Now!”

The little man spoke up in his mind again, telling him he was walking
into disaster, but Harry ignored it as she guided his penis into her. He
thrust deep, and she gasped. “Still touchy.” she breathed into his ear.

He thrust again and again, in and out, as her hips moved in time with
his own. With one hand he supported himself while the other ran along her
side, feeling her body. Her mouth met his in a deep kiss.

Too soon, much too soon, he felt the pleasure building. It mounted
higher and higher, until he knew he was going to come. He rested for a
moment until it died back, but it returned with twice the ferocity as soon
as he began pumping again. He tried to will it back, to force it down, but
the pleasure quickly grew out of control. He groaned through clenched teeth
at an explosion of pleasure as his seed shot into the warm depths of her
body. She held him tight as the echoes faded and Harold began to relax.

As the pleasure faded, fear replaced it. Now was the moment of truth.
Was she going to accept him or explode with rage? He pulled out and lay
down beside her, trembling slightly.

She noticed something was wrong right away. “What is it?”

“Nothing.” he mumbled.

“Don’t give me that. You just withdrew into yourself like a turtle in
a shell. What are you afraid of?”

He swallowed hard “I thought you might get mad. Because… because I
couldn’t last very long. I was premature.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked, “That was fantastic! I
haven’t got off that hard in a long time. What-” Suddenly an idea began to
form. “Harry, what was it you were so upset about when you first came in
here?”

Harold told her about Cindi. It took much coaxing to get the whole
truth out, as the pain had not diminished after all.

After he finished, she was silent for a long time. Finally she said,
“I almost can’t believe somebody could do that to another person. Almost. I
know Cindi. She’s pretty fuckin’ shallow and self-centered. How on earth
did you ever get tangled up with her anyway?”

“I don’t know.” Harold said in a flat, lifeless voice. “I used to
think she was something special. I was in love. I thought she loved me.”

“I don’t think the bitch knows what love is.” Julie thought for a long
moment. “There’s only one thing to do. We’re going to have to get you over
this little problem of yours. And I think I know just the person to do
it.”

Harold lifted his head up to stare at her outline in the darkness.
“You know somebody who can fix it?”

“This guy can fix anything. He knows more about sex than Dr. Ruth.
He’ll know what to do. And then you can show that bitch what’s what.”

“I don’t know…” Harold began doubtfully.

“You don’t have to know.” she concluded for him. “I do.”

They lay together for a long time. Finally she said, “Ready for
another one?”

“Another what?” Harold asked innocently.

“Come on, now. You’ve had plenty of time to recover.” She began
stroking his penis, which was beginning to swell. “See what I mean?”

He felt the heat returning as he caressed her breast. “Well, if you
insist…”

“Of course I insist. You know what they say.”

“No, what do they say?” Harold asked as he moved on top of her.

“It’s usually better the second time around…”

And it was.

Sunday. Squirrel Heights. By noon, the temperature hit 100 degrees.
The misery at the boarding house was more acute than usual, as hangovers
didn’t mix with the heat at all. Also, because about five times as many
people as usual had spent the night there, the place needed a good airing
out. Especially the front room…

Michael Wilburn was fifty one years old and solidly built. Though
balding, his hair showed not a trace of gray and there was a mischevious
gleam in his eye when he smiled that showed that he had not yet surrendered
to his years and probably never will. He was handsome in an offhanded sort
of way, and had an easy, outgoing matter. He had once been an economics
professor at the local university, until he decided to apply some of his
theories to the stock market and found himself comfortably rich within a
year. Students who once avoided his classes like the plague now begged him
to return to teaching. He always got quite a laugh out of that. Despite
some trepidation when Julie had introduced them, Harold was surprised to
find he liked Michael almost immediately.

They sat at opposite ends of a study on the third floor, Harold in a
ratty old easy chair, Michael crosslegged on a small pile of pillows. The
air in the room was leaden, stiflingly hot. The only light streamed in
through a half-shuttered window and striped the floor between them. Harold
wiped sweat off his brow every few minutes, but his host seemed affected
not at all by the heat.

Opening up to a stranger is always hard, but hope forced Harold along.
Haltingly at first, then more freely with Michael’s gentle prodding, he
…End of the part2. To be continued..

The growing membership of the Willyville Nudist Society (formed
somewhere around July 11th) petitioned the mayor’s office to temporarily
modify the laws against public indecency so as to allow the nudists to
pursue their own version of ‘personal freedom’. A story about it appeared
in the local newspaper, and a day later the mayor’s office recieved over a
thousand anonymous letters in support of the petition. However, almost 80%
of those letters were mimeographed in the same writing, unsigned, and sent
without return addresses. Somebody had been very busy, indeed. There was no
comment from the mayor’s office about the whole situation. Rumor had it he
had snuck out of town for a long overdue vacation…

For Harold Sykes, the usual lunacy of Willyville passed over him
without notice as his days stretched into a grey cloud of depression. At
work he hardly spoke, and when he went home he drew the blinds and sat in
the stifling heat staring at a blank wall. When he saw a pretty girl out on
the street he would avert his eyes until she passed by. When his friends at
work spoke to him he would always jump, as if jolted from some private
world. When asked about his change of behavior, he would simply dismiss it
as the aftermath of a breakup. But deep inside his heart ached and he spent
long, sleepless nights wondering who Cindi might be with and what they
might be doing and being certain that she was having a far, far better time
now than she had ever had with him. His depression grew deeper and deeper
and he knew that over the horizon lay only more dark clouds.

The situation came to a head when Harold nearly throttled a co-worker
for singing “Zipity-Doo-Da” one morning after announcing his engagement.
After explaining to his supervisor (and the police officer) that he had
been under a lot of stress lately, he was awarded with a two-week (unpaid)
vacation and the advice to see a psychiatrist. Soon.

Instead he sat at home, watching “Love Boat” reruns and drinking some
horrible beer and lemonade concotion bottled in New Jersey. Masochism was
the word of the day here.

He was idly (and a bit drunkenly) trying to decide whether to use a
sledgehammer or a shotgun on the TV set when the phone rang.

The harsh, obnoxious sound grated in his ears, pulling him from the
fantasy that enveloped him. A part of him begged to answer the phone, as
usual, to see who would be calling. The rest of him said screw it, why
bother?

Finally, long ingrained habit won out. He lurched over to the phone
and yanked the reciever off the cradle. Placing it to his mouth, he offered
the most cheery greeting his jangled mind could come up with.

“Go fuck yourself.”

There was moment’s hesitation before a familiar male voice came out of
the other end. “Harold! How ya doin’?”

“Hi, Tom.” Harold sighed. Tom was Harold’s best friend and a devout
hedonist, to boot. “I’m doing fine. Just don’t feel like getting out much
in this heat, is all.”

“Yeah, right.” Tom said in a voice that made it perfectly clear he
didn’t believe a word of it. “Well, shit, man, you need to get out
sometimes, before you start to grow cobwebs or something. And I got just
the thing…”

Harold silently groaned and rubbeed his temples. The only thing he
wanted was to be left alone. One of Tom’s ‘just the thing’ ideas was the
last thing he needed right now. “Uh, look, maybe later-”

“Later my ass!” The voice on the other end roared. “I know what
happened. Kelly told me.” Harold’s eyes widened but he really wasn’t
surprised. He fully expected Cindi to blab to everyone who would sit still
long enough to listen. He tried to imagine that Cindy was sitting in front
of him instead of the TV and suddenly his hands fairly itched for that
sledgehammer.

Tom continued, “Shit, man, something like that would’ve killed me.
Cindi has got to be the most twisted bitch I have ever heard of. Nobody has
a right to do that to somebody else.”

“Yeah, I ain’t too happy about it either. But I can’t do anything, so
how about I call you later-”

“I ain’t done yet.” Tom interrupted firmly. “You’ve got to get out of
there and back into circulation. You stay in that dark house much longer,
you’re going to do something stupid.” Harold felt a sudden shock. What had
he been thinking? He had twelve payments to go on the TV yet. Suddenly the
beer and lemonade in his stomach began to churn.

“Look, Harold, I’m your buddy. It hurts me to see what she’s done to
you. I wanna help, and I think I know the best way to do it. There’s a
party going on Saturday afternoon at this place I know over in Squirrel
Heights. Right off Wanker street. The whole gang’s gonna be there, along
with a bunch of other people I don’t know. Lots of available girls, I hear.
Hoping to add a couple to my collection myself. I think you ought to go
with me. Keep me from getting in too much trouble.”

Harold’s voice was thick as he struggled with his gorge. “I… I don’t
know…”

“Aw, c’mon. I want you there. You don’t have to do anything or talk to
anybody if you don’t want. Just soak up some rays and good feelings. I
ain’t heard of anybody going away from a West Side Party feeling bad.”

“Well…”

“It’s settled, then.” Tom concluded, perhaps a bit prematurely. “I’ll
be by about noon Saturday, and you can ride with me. I know you don’t
drink, and I could use somebody sober to drive me home. If I go home at
all. If not, you can use the car. Sound good?”

Harold had his voice under control and was actually feeling a bit
better. Tom’s nonstop talking had distracted him from the full impact of
the crisis, and his depression was beginning to lift a bit. “Sure, why not?
Should I bring anything?”

“Toothbrush and a change of shorts, maybe.”

They talked for a few more minutes and when Harold finally hung up, he
felt immensely better. He had felt so alone not long ago. It was good to be
reminded he had friends. Maybe with their help he could pull through this
depression and come out a whole human being once again. But that was still
a ways off.

In the meantime, he tidied the house up. Lastly he came to the
collection of bottles from his binge that morning. He was astonished to
discover how much of that stuff he had drunk. Thinking about it reminded
him just how awful the stuff really was. He hiccuped once and ran for the
bathroom, hand over his mouth.

He almost made it.

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“I want to know who he is.”

“No.”

“Did you hear me? I want to know. You have no right to keep

this from me.”

“Part of the deal was, I promised him you wouldn’t find out.

Look, maybe he doesn’t want a relationship. But there’s no way I can

tell you without his consent.”

“If you don’t tell me whose cock was inside me, I’m going

to kick your ass.”

* * *

The guy wouldn’t consent to me revealing his identity. I admit

I felt awkward refusing to tell her who he was — she was my friend,

after all — but I had given him my word. We had exchanged trust; it

was part of the bargain.

Jeanine’s bitterness about me keeping my vow of secrecy aside,

it seemed that the whole project was going really well. Her moody

urgency about losing her virginity was gone; her burning curiosity about

sex was satiated, and now she comported herself more confidently, with

an uncharacteristic calmness. I had heard about deflowering having a

big impact on people’s behavior before, but I had never witnessed it

myself. I was impressed; Jeanine went from being a edgy, high-strung

swarm of electrons to a cool, flowing girl. If one morning I glanced

out the dorm window and saw her strolling naked over snow drifts with

flowers in her hair and her voice alive with song, I would not have

been surprised.

She also began socializing more. She acquired a fake I.D.,

and began hanging out in the campus pub with myself and various future

farmers. She danced to country music, quaffed tepid beer, laughed

dizzily at stupid jokes, and smiled a great deal. It was a terrible

irony that this was when the problems began.

One evening, sitting with Peggy, me, and three other guys

from school, she blew the whole operation. We had been playing truth

or dare, which for us was usually a safe and unsurprising game, and

just by chance one fellow named Dale asked about her first time. She

stared at him penetratingly — I assumed she was wondering if he was the

one — and then she blurted it all out. My proposal, the secret trust,

the grand mission to liberate her from virginity. I kicked her under

the table but she wouldn’t shut up. By the time she finished babbling

the guy was mortified, and she clearly inferred from his reaction that he

was not her man. An awful silence descended. Jeanine looked

over at me, wounded, helpless, stunned by her own stupidity.

“That’s a nice bit of fiction, Jeanine.” I tried to cover

her tracks.

“Did she make that up?” Peggy asked me, her voice high-pitched

and wavering.

“Nope,” a guy named Del said. “Too real. She said too

much details. Know what I mean? She couldn’t've made all that up

just now.”

Her face flushed, Jeanine rose unsteadily and walked to the

ladies’ room. Two of the guys, almost fainting with hilarity, went

to the pool table to repeat what they had just heard.

Later, Jeanine told me that as she exited the bathroom a

stranger approached her and claimed to be her anonymous lover.

As did nine other people over the next two days. One of them

was a woman who claimed she had worn a strap-on.

* * *

Jeanine told me that her response to all the guys who claimed

to be her lover was: Prove it.

To which most of them replied:

“Sure. But, um…the only way I can prove it is if you

let me sleep with you. Then you’ll know it was me.”

* * *

“The problem, Bobby,” Jeanine inhaled from the joint I had

managed to talk my older sister out of. “The problem is…I mean,

I can deal with all this bullshit, the ridicule, everyone saying how

desperate I must be. The real problem is, I love the guy.”

…End of the part4. To be continued..

gasp as his left hand returned to sight and placed the crimson flower in her

captured hand. “I always said I’d felt bad about that ‘email rose’ being so

insubstantial, so…”

“Oh, Mikel – I LOVE you!” she cried out as she hugged him.

“Ow! Yep, should’ve taken those thorns out,” he exclaimed as his arms resumed

their comfortable embrace of her warm body.

“I love you too, Nadine – as much as it is humanly possible, and possibly even a

little more. I will happily be whatever you wish – a friend, a lover, a servant,

anything – I’ll be it. I AM YOURS FOR AS LONG AS YOU WANT…I can only hope that

it will be a long, long time,” he finished, tears welling up in his eyes. She

kissed his chest, and pulled his body into hers even more tightly, sniffing

slightly.

They lay like that for a time, naked as the dawn, and held each other as the

afterglow of their passion made them drowsy. He recognized it for what it was,

pulled her head back, and kissed a trail from her forehead, down her nose and

onto her lips. “Darling, as much as I would be the happiest man it the world

just to lie here and hold you for the rest of time, we have a lunch date and I

don’t think we’ll pass the dress code like this. Does your plumbing give you

enough hot water for two showers, or must we share…feel free to lie if you

can’t bear to be away from my body from that long.” His mouth curled up into an

immoral grin. He fully expected the slap when it came, but not where it was

aimed.

“Ooo – aren’t we prideful all-of-a-sudden; you make a girl come a few times an

already you’re puffed up like a peacock! But sadly, I’ve got plenty of hot water.

To make matters worse, the stall is a little small…”

“Oh, well – I guess my ego will have to take the separation,” he said, releasing

her and sitting up. “I gotta dash down to the car anyway and grab some proper

clothes – you go first. Can I at least wash your back for you?”

“Done, and I’ll hold you to that.”

“Aw, I’d rather be held to your front,” he joked as he stood to pull the jumpsuit

over his naked form.

“Ugh, I hope you catch some hairs in the zipper!”

“Ooo, thanks for the reminder!” Mikel exclaimed as he shrugged his shoulders

into the coveralls. He moved one hand over his patch of brown hair at the

juncture of his legs before the other hand pulled the zipper up. He bent down to

kiss Nadine again and whisper “Better get up and get in there – if you’re not in

the shower when I return, I won’t be able to help you…”

“Mmmmmm, do I have to?”

“YES. Now, up!” He grasped her arms and tugged her to a sitting position. He

snaked his tongue over the side of her neck. She kissed his cheek and moved her

arms to encircle him. He removed himself from her embrace and said, “I’m sorry

for kissing-and-running, but it looks like I’ll have to tease you into the

shower. I promise that you’ll get more when I get back, if…” and grinned as he

stepped back. He was rewarded with his lover stretching and sliding off the bed.

When he turned to leave the bedroom, he stopped. “Um, Nadine darling? Something

just occurred to me – how will I get back into the apartment?”

Mikel heard her moving around behind him – and she slipped a key over his

shoulder, which he easily caught. She then pressed into his back and hugged him.

“Hurry back, my man.”

“I promise, and you’ve seen that I keep my word.” Nadine hands slipped away with

a sigh, and she stepped towards the bathroom.

He returned to the front door, and a shock jolted through his gut – the door was

ajar! He quickly scanned the room, and saw no one. He’d only been through here

once, though, and had been too distracted to take an inventory of the items here;

he had no way of knowing if someone had burglarized the place while Nadine and he

were ‘busy’…

He pulled the door open and heaved it shut behind him – breathing a sigh of

relief as he heard a click. He was about to start off for the outside and the

parking lot, but something on the floor attracted his attention.

The coil of wire and clipboard he’d used as props to complete his surprise were

sitting next to Nadine’s door, piled neatly. Mikel thought back, and remembered

dropping the clipboard and spilling the coil off his left shoulder when he hugged

and kissed his beloved, so the wire should be in a messy pile ON TOP of the

board. Someone must’ve been here, and cleaned up behind him! As he grabbed

these things to return them to the car, he noticed his benefactor had written

something on the blank sheet of paper he’d stuck under the clip – “Good luck

Pal!” Mikel carried his props out with a broad grin on his face – there’d be

nothing missing from Nadine’s apartment.

Fundament Fundamentals

Ass is magic. The lush roundness, the curves . . . The Curve.

That most elegant and sensual of all geometric shapes — the

vertically split oval, the inverted catenary, the upside-down heart.

The ass. It releases nauseating, evil-smelling waste and emits

noxious gas . . . it’s the exit passage for lumps of shit and

rotten-smelling farts. It’s the symbol of all that is unclean. And

yet, by some strange alchemy, it becomes the most highly-charged

and sensual body part. It’s an obsession, a ruling passion, a

crystallization of purpose.

Remember how weird and disgusting even the plain vanilla sex act

seemed when you first learned about it at age 10? Well, anal sex was

even more disgusting when you found out about *that*. “Cornholing,

that’s what queers do when they have sex. One guy sticks his dick

into the other guy’s asshole and fucks him up his shit tube.” That

image haunted you for years. Even the word “corn” conjured up demons.

The very idea of fucking an ass is explosive. Forbidden fruit. It’s

perverted. It’s nauseating. It’s magnificent. Vaginal sex is, at best,

a pale imitation.

The higher the barrier, the more difficult the passage, the stronger

the resistance, the stickier the lock — the more explosive the

energy release when you break through.

The ass is the entrance to the Mysteries. Just insert yourself

into the keyhole and plunge. Open the door. Enter the chamber of

hidden delights. Welcome to a higher order of existence.

——————————————————————-

Val’s next girlfriend, happily, was into ass play. (He had made damn

certain of that before they got too deeply involved.) It didn’t take

much persuasion for her to try anal. Their first attempt was rather

pathetic in its clumsiness and not much fun for either of them. Too eager,

too impatient . . . he had pushed too hard trying to get into her back

passage. Too little lube. She was too dry and it hurt a bit. He came

while still stuck fast in her outer ring.

Marsha took him firmly in hand after that. She had done some reading

and judicious asking on the methods and techniques of ass fucking.

“Val, dear Val. Let me guide you through this. You’ll do it exactly as

I say, and you’ll be patient, too . . . or I’ll chop off your . . .

“First, we need a higher quality grade of lube. Not that cheap shit you

got at the corner drugstore. And we won’t skimp on it, either.

“Next, you’ll turn me on with pussy stroking and clit sucking before

I let you anywhere near my asshole. Make me come once or twice. Three

times is even better.

“Finally, listen. Listen to me. Me! The boss. When I’m ready to let you

stick anything into my ass, I’ll let you know loud and clear.

“Yes! That’s good. I’m going to lean forward and bend over those pillows

and stick my ass into the air. It’ll be totally open to you.

“All right. Prepare me with a finger inside, and plenty of lube on it,

don’t forget. Now two fingers. Twirl them around. Stretch me. Loosen me

up. Lube me up inside. Now lube yourself up. Slather it on. Get ready

to slide in now. Ready?”

Boy, was he ever. He positioned himself at the entrance to her ass and

pressed forward gently. The dick head slowly disappeared, and with a sort

of liquid pop, he was past the entrance. There was almost no resistance

now, and he slowly slid in deeper. Inch by inch, his shaft submerged

into her darkness. The front of his thighs bumped against the curve of

…End of the part1. To be continued..

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expected anything, but what I saw so well that afternoon was to be

imprinted on my mind with an indelible permanence.

“Damn, my feet are tired,” she complained to the heavens. And

then, stating the obvious, “Professor Twist is so incredibly boring,”

followed by a mental right turn, “I need some excitement in my life.”

Excitement? I glanced up at her face, but she looked unchanged,

head back and eyes still closed, the picture of fatigue, or was it boredom?

Looking again at her long legs encased in shear nylons leading up to that

pantied juncture in her crotch, I suddenly had a near-overwhelming desire

to see more, to get closer. Some desires, short of compulsions, can be

modulated if for no other reason than a fear of disclosure. The strength of

this desire was not to be moderated by caution or restraint. I *had* to see

more.

Understand, I wasn’t a complete nincompoop, but as a seventeen

year old, I didn’t know much. Most of my sexual adventures came as the

result of me just being there and things happening. I suppose I was more

of an opportunist than a mover and shaker, at least in sexual things. Later,

that was to change. Anyway, I knew I wanted to get closer and hadn’t the

faintest notion how I might accomplish this . . . and keep my head on my

shoulders.

I had an idea! Hardly original and certainly not a bit creative, but it

was what came to mind at that moment and without turning it over to

examine its merits, I blurted out, “Want me to rub your feet? I know it’s

not very exciting, but you used to love it.”

Now this was not entirely without precedent, for I’d once taken a

low-grade massage course that had started with the feet and then the

hands. Most of the people in there were taking the course hoping to learn

about erotic massage. That never happened and it was not until eight or so

weeks later that we even got to the back! At any rate, I’d massaged my

mom’s hands and her forearms and feet and calves in the past. At that time

I was doing it for the practice and hardly noted that it was my mother’s

limbs on which I was working. Now, months later, she just sank deeper

into the couch and wiggled her toes, saying, “Oh, yes! Yes, indeed, yes.

Oh, thank you. Marvelous idea!”

As I was walking around the coffee table, I remembered reading an

erotic story of a young kid who massaged his mom’s legs so he could look

under her robe. Each day his mother relaxed a little bit more, the story

went, and each day he’d get a little better view. More, he was able to

move up her legs each day. “How dumb!” I thought at the time. I liked

the story, but knew it’d never work. Now, it seemed like a much better

idea.

Then, with the keen awareness of the paranoid, I thought, “If *I*

thought of this, then my mother probably did as well. She probably know

what I’m up to.” Yet her relaxed body surrender suggested otherwise as I

sat on the coffee table and said, “Gimmie a footsie, lady.”

“Footsie?” she asked, as she picked up one leg and offered it to me,

opening up the view of her entire pantied pelvis and crotch. “Since when

did you get so cute?”

“You want this massage or not?” As if I’d be content to just walk

away if she decided she really didn’t want it.

“You can call it anything you want. Just rub it for me, please.”

In retrospect, I don’t know if one might have viewed this as some

right of passage. Almost certainly not, yet it had a profound impact on me

that colored my thinking and my thoughts, seemingly to this day. I mean,

why else can I recall with such vivid clarity the texture of her skin and the

color of her clothes? Why else did this produce a deeply etched memory

that was swamped with eroticism?

Because I’d sat next to her feet on the coffee table, when she

offered me her foot, I’d pulled it slightly aside to hold it in both hands.

This caused her dress to climb still higher on her thighs and open her legs

still more. Her panties were a burnished saffron in the long light. I was so

…End of the part2. To be continued..

“Suck it you little slut. I don’t want any more shit from you, just
suck me!”

I tightened my hold on her hair and pulled her head back a little
further so that her lips started to part, then shoved the head of my
cock into her mouth.

“Lick it! Use your tongue.”

Her tongue slid around the head as I penetrated deeper into her
mouth. I held it right at the entrance to her throat and let her
tongue explore the shaft. I eased up and let her sit up a little
higher. She put her arms up over my legs and took my cock from my hand
and started suck on it in earnest. I leaned back, put both of my hands
on the back of her head and started to enjoy the ride. At first I
would use my hands to pull her head downward while I shoved my dick
into her mouth. Soon however, she no longer needed any
“encouragement” from me. Her tongue was doing wonders as she slowly
slid my prick in and out of her mouth. I moaned for her to take it
deeper. She tried but was unable to get it down her throat with out
gagging. I gently pulled her head back and told her to relax. I pushed
the head of my cock on the entrance of her throat and felt it slide
in. She gagged a little but was able to take it all the way down. Once
she mastered this skill she fell into a rhythm where she would swallow
my cock all the way to the hilt, sloooowly withdraw it while running
her tongue up the underside until just the head was wrapped in her
lips. Then she would french kiss the head while she looked up at me
with her soft, brown eyes then start again.

Each of these loving strokes was bringing me closer and closer to
the edge. She was holding me in her mouth, her tongue sliding over my
cockhead and her hand stroking my shaft when she raised up her eyes
and stared deeply into mine. That did it. As she looked up at me I
felt myself reach the point of no-return and the cum started to boil
up out of my balls. She was right at the very tip of an upstroke and I
decided that now was the time to fulfill the final part of the fantasy
that I had always had about Kim. I pulled back on her hair so her face
was upturned and about a foot away from my dick. I grabbed my cock
with my other hand, aimed it at her face and gave it one hard stroke
as the cum erupted from the head. The first blast landed in her hair
near the top of her forehead and trailed down her face across the
bridge of her nose. I corrected my aim and gave another stroke and
this time I was dead on target, splashing cum across her half open
mouth and covering her pouty little lips. Her face was still
registering a look of both shock and lust as I pulled on my cock again
and sent another blast onto her mouth and cheek. By now I was pretty
much spent. I dropped my cock onto her lips and she began to lick off
the few remaining squirts that were still flowing out. Much to my
amazement I had to actually tell her to stop licking and sucking on my
dick once it became too sensitive to touch. She amazed me even more by
licking the cum off of her lips and from around her mouth. She had
come a long way in a few minutes from thinking that the whole idea was
“gross” to greedily licking up every drop of cum that she could reach.

I was spent for the moment but when I looked down and saw Kim’s
face smiling up at me with globs of cum decorating her face and hair I
could feel the familiar stirrings in my balls and knew that I wouldn’t
be that way for long. I motioned for her to get up and told her to lay
down on the couch. She lay down with her head on a pillow at one end
and her feet in my lap. I put one leg on the floor and the other up
over the back of the couch. Her legs now spread wide before me I began
to probe her pussy once again. I did it slowly and gently pulling my
fingers out to lightly rub her swollen lips, covering them with a
slick film of pussy juice. I purposely avoided her clit since my aim
was to tease, not satisfy.

“You’ve been a very good little slut so far Kim. But there are
still a few more things we are going to do tonight. Do you like being
my slut?”

“Yesss.”

“I’m going to treat you like the little whore that you have always
wanted to be. Do you want that? Do you want me to treat you like a
whore?”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, treat me like a whore. Make me suck your cock. Put it in my
mouth again.”

“Does sucking my cock make you horny? Do you want me to make you
cum?”

“Yes. Yes. Play with my pussy some more. Please, put your fingers
in my cunt”

I withdrew my finger from her pussy and she let out a low moan of
frustration.

“Please don’t stop again. I’ll do what ever you say”

“I want you do play with yourself Kim. I want you to show me how you
rub your pussy while you think about sucking a cock. All sluts play
with themselves Kim. Rub it! Rub your pussy for me.”

She hesitated again but I grabbed her hand and pulled it down
between her legs. That was all the encouragement she needed now. She
spread her legs even wider as her hand slid up and down her pussy, her
fingers lingering at the top of every stroke to massage her clit. Her
head lay back against the arm of the couch her eyes closed as her
fingers brought her closer to orgasm. I was almost hard again and
still as horny as ever so I began to stroke myself while I watched Kim
do the same.

“Tell me how you want to suck my cock.”

“I want to suck it so bad Dave, please give it to me again.”

“Tell me more. Tell me everything”

“I want you to put it in my mouth. Shove it all the way down my
throat. I want to hold it in my had as I lick it all over. I want to
lick your head when you cum and have you shoot your load in my mouth.
Unggh. Eat your cum, I want to eat your cum.”

She was starting to become incoherent as she came closer to orgasm,
her sentences punctuated by gasps and moans. I was now rock hard again
and ready for the final event of the evening. I grabbed her hand and
pulled it away from her pussy which was now literally dripping. I was
wondering how she was going to explain the big spot on the sofa to her
roommate. I wasn’t sure if pussy stains were permanent but I was sure
that Kim was going to have to pull out the bucket and scrub brush
tomorrow morning. She wasn’t really keen on stopping yet again and
tried to resist. I grabbed both her hands and pinned them up next to
her head on the edge of the couch and laided on top of her. I brought
my face close to her’s, look deep into her eyes and said,

“I’m going to fuck you now Kim. I’m going to fuck you good and hard.
I’ve wanted to fuck you ever since I met you and you’ve needed a good
hard screw for a long time.”

This time there was no apprehension or fear in her face, just pure
animal lust. She was in heat and needed to be satisfied. She was still
a virgin, her “born-again” morals (now long gone) had kept her from
doing it with any of the other guys that she had dated. I had felt her
hymen while my fingers were in her pussy but she was now so wet and
turned on that it wasn’t going to be a problem. I let go of one of her
hands to reach down and position myself at the entrance to paradise. I
brought my face down to her’s, started a long hot kiss and drove it
home. I felt her body jerk as I broke through and my cock penetrated
about half way in to her virgin pussy. I thrust again and went deeper.
And again, still deeper. I broke the kiss and and Kim began to gasp. I
thrust again and penetrated almost to the hilt. Kim’s pussy was like a
vise. It’s walls grasped at my cock like it had a mind of it’s own. I
picked up the rhythm, pounding my cock deep inside her. I still had
her hands pinned above her head so she couldn’t move. She was moaning
loudly now and her body started to writhe beneath me. I could feel her
muscles tense up and her hips moved upward to meet my every thrust.
Her pussy clenched my cock as she began to cum. A loud scream erupted
from her lips and her back arched as I slammed my cock into her one
last time and held it there, deep inside. Again she screamed and
twisted as her orgasm raged through her body. She bucked her hips
again and again and at last began to relax, her body melting under
mine. I was glad that I had already cum once that night because under
normal circumstances I would have shot my wad a long time ago.

I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable on the couch so I
withdrew and ordered Kim onto the floor. She was still slightly dazed
from the force of her orgasm but looked like she was ready for some
more. She rolled off the couch and lay on the floor, her legs spread
and knees up in the air waiting for me to enter.

“No. on your knees!”

She looked puzzled but complied, standing on her knees in front of
me.

“Turn around and bend over. Get on all fours like a doggie”

She still seemed confused but she had always been rather naive
where sex was concerned and probably didn’t even realize there was a
doggie-style position. She figured it out fast enough as I knelt
behind her and slammed my cock into pussy. She gasped as I penetrated
all the way to the hilt. While I was on top of her I was never able to
get it quite all the way in but now, taking her from behind, I was
able to embed the whole length (which is seven inches in case you are
curious). I grabbed her hips and really started to go to town. When
my hips slapped against her ass it sounded like rifle shots. I could
feel myself building to another orgasm so I slowed down to make it
last a little longer. Grabbing her hair, I pulled her up to a kneeling
position. Her breath was again coming in gasps and low moans escaped
her throat. I slowed the tempo and grabbed roughly at her tits. My
hands pinched her nipples and kneeded those beautiful mounds of flesh
as my mouth nibbled on her earlobes and neck.

Despite slowing down, my orgasm was rapidly approaching. I pushed
her back on all fours and again began to pound my dick deep inside
her. Her moans became louder and suddenly she went rigid, threw her
head back and screamed as another orgasm took hold. Her knuckles went
white as she grabbed the throw rug and she thrust her ass back into my
hips. Feeling her pussy convulsivly clasp my cock finally sent me
over the precipice. I let loose a guttural moan and gave her two more
hard strokes when I felt the cum begin to rise up through my cock. I
pulled out and stroked my cock with my hand. It began to spurt and
several shots of cum landed on Kim’s back and ass. Spent, I dropped my
cock into her ass and let the final dribbles leak out into the crack.
My knees were now weak and I collapsed on top of her, pulling her to
the floor with me.

Her breathing slowed and she spoke to me,

“You’re not going to leave me now are you?”

This had probably been the single best sexual encounter I had ever
had and my mind was churning with the endless opportunities now
available to me. I pulled her closer and whispered,

“No. I’ll never leave you just as long as you are a good little girl
and do everything I say.”

She sighed and we both drifted off to sleep, entwined on the carpet.

–

“No, I can’t” she stammered.

“Take them off right now you little bitch!”

Now she looked really flustered. She looked around first as if to
check and see that no one was watching her then undid the top button
on her jeans. She put her fingers on the zipper then hesitated. I
scowled at her. She continued on, pulling down the zipper then pealing
the jeans off of her tight little ass. She was now standing about five
feet in front of me in only a pair of flower print cotton panties. I
could see the little curls of pubic hair peeking out around the edges
and over the top. By now my evil twin had completely taken over and
Mr. Nice Guy was just along for the ride.

“Great, now the panties. I want to see your hot little pussy.”

“I …”

“DO IT!”

Now she looked a little pale and her hands were shaking. This was
great, I should have thought of this months ago. She hooked her thumbs
in the waistband and bent over as she pulled them down over her
ankles. Now she stood before me stark naked. Her pussy was covered by
mound of soft curly brown hair and I could see the soft puffy lips
just beneath it. Her nipples were very erect and I was curious to see
if it was because this whole scene was arousing her or if it was just
the fact that it was chilly in the living room. I reached up to the
thermostat above the couch to take care of the latter possibility. I
was certainly getting aroused, my dick was now so hard it could have
driven nails into a two by four.

I stood up and walked over to where she was standing. I reached up and
cupped her face in my hands and bent over to give her a long lingering
kiss, letting my hands run through her hair and down along her back
to her tight little ass. She responded to the kiss with an amazing
passion. Her tongue seemed to go almost halfway down my throat and her
hands clutched at my ass pulling me in tighter. I had finally found
the right buttons to push, she was really enjoying being my little
slave. This was an opportunity that would not go unwasted. I broke the
kiss,

“Undress me. Start with the shirt, shoes and socks, then my
pants.”

She just stood there looking at me like she didn’t know what to do
next. But I did. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her over my knee as I
sat back down. I held her wrists behind her and bent her over my knees
so her ass was high up in the air. SMACK! She gasped as my hand made
contact with her bare ass. SMACK! Now she cried out with a little
yelp,

“Stop it! Ouch! Shit, don’t do that goddammit!”

I hit her harder. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Her ass was turning a dull
cherry red. With each blow she cried out as she squirmed around on my
knees. Finally I had decided she had enough (in other words my hand
was starting to hurt). I wanted to see if this was having the desired
effect on her so I slid my hand down the crack of her ass and between
her legs to her pussy. Her juice was leaking from her and her outer
lips were covered with a thick slippery film. I slid my middle finger
up along the crack between her lips until my fingertip brushed up
against her clit. She cried out even louder than when I was spanking
her. She tried to raise her ass up higher as I started to probe the
inside of her pussy.

“Don’t stop, it feels so good.”

“Don’t stop what?”

I stopped.

“What you were doing to me”

“What was that?”

“You know, what you were doing with your fingers.”

“I was playing with your pussy. Say it.”

Silence. SMACK!

“If you want me to play with your pussy some more you have to ask
for it. In graphic detail.”

“Please …”

“Say it!”

“Please …, please play with my pussy”

“Say more.”

“Put your fingers in my pussy.”

“In your cunt. Say ‘Stick your fingers up my hot cunt’.”

“Stick your fingers up my hot cunt. Please, play with my little
pussy.”

“Not yet, first you have to undress me.”

She gave me a look of disappointment as I let go of her arms and
pulled her off my lap. I stood up in front of her and this time she
immediately went to work removing my clothes. She took off my shirt
then knelt at my feet to remove my shoes and socks. When she was done
with those she reached up to take off my jeans. I ran my fingers
through her soft brown hair as she fumbled with the top button. She
unzipped me and slowly pulled down my jeans and briefs at the same
time. My dick, which was now rock hard sprung out and almost hit her
in the face. I doubt that she had ever seen a hard cock before because
she backed off a little and stared at it, her mouth agape. Now Kim has
a very pretty face with a set of those nice full, pouty lips that you
see on some fashion models and there had been many a night where I had
gone back to my apartment in frustration after one of our dates and
whacked off thinking about having those lips wrapped around the head
of my cock. As she stared at my dick I knew exactly what was going to
happen next. I walked back to the couch and sat down and motioned for
her to come over. She got up and stood in front of me waiting for me
to say something. I reached over and slid one finger up into her still
sopping pussy. She closed her eyes as I gently probed her lips and
slid the finger in and out.

“Do you like it when I do this to you Kim?”

“Yes”, she replied in almost a whisper.

“Do you want me to play with your pussy some more?”

She groaned a reply.

“Good. If you want me to play with your cunt some more you’ll have
to do one little thing for me.”

“What?”

“Get on your knees and suck my cock.”

Her eyes snapped open and she took a step back.

“You want me to do what?”

“Suck me. Get on your knees and put my cock in your mouth.”

“You want me to put it in my mouth? That’s gross!”

…End of the part2. To be continued..

I woke up late the next morning to the delicious feeling of
my cock in Jenny’s hot, wet, magic mouth. I loved feeling it
grow rigid as she slurped and sucked and licked it. I relaxed
back into the pillows and enjoyed her expert cocksucking. In
just a few minutes, Jenny was fucking me with her mouth, and I
couldn’t hold out any longer. My cum shot out of me and into her
accepting mouth.
When I was done, Jenny looked up and smiled, “Good morning,
Lover. I just want you to know that I have never felt sexier,
hotter, more like a complete woman, than I have since your
birthday.”
I smiled back at her. With my fingers I dabbed some of my
cum from her chin and she sucked my sticky fingers into her
mouth.
“So, it looks like a foreign cock every now and then is all
we need to keep you happy.”
“Ron, it’s so sexy knowing you’re watching. Last night, I
kept thinking about you being five feet away, watching everything
I was doing. It turned me on so much!”
……
And it must have. Our sex life was wonderful. Between the
different hours that we worked, and my longer commute time, Jenny
usually arrived home a little after 4 p.m. and I dragged in after
6:30. Instead of Jenny starting dinner and watching the news
until I got home, we developed a pattern of love-making I really
enjoyed.
When I got home, Jenny was almost always naked or
almost-naked in bed and ready for me. She insisted that I eat
her already-wet cunt, first, and then she would attack my body
with her hands, tongue, mouth and cunt, ending in a terrific
fuck. We’d then shower together and enjoy the rest of the
evening together.
……
One day in late March, my office went out to lunch to
celebrate a huge sale I had made in the morning. None of us
returned to work, and, as a result, I turned onto our street at
about 4:15 p.m. — just in time to see three figures enter our
front door.
I stopped the car still a half-block from the house, and
wondered what to do. One of the figures had obviously been Jenny
— her car stood in the driveway. Who were the other two people,
and why were they waiting at the front door for Jenny to get
home?
As I sat there, our bedroom light went on, and a thought
began to form.
I parked the car at the curb, walked down to our house and
into the backyard. I quietly climbed the steps up to the deck
off the kitchen, and climbed from that railing onto the deck off
the bedroom. I crept over to the french doors, but couldn’t find
enough opening in the curtains to observe anything inside the
room.
Desperate, I climbed up on the railing and peeked into the
top of a window. Perfect! The miniblinds were open enough to
see a sight I couldn’t believe!
Inside, Jenny, Danny and Danny’s friend, CJ were undressing!
When they were all naked, Jenny laid back onto the bed and
Danny moved his hard cock close to her lips. My wife moved her
head until she could suck it into her mouth. At the same time,
CJ was kneeling between Jenny’s spread legs. His hands were busy
at her cunt for a few seconds, and then he moved his cock up to
her pussy. He slid it in it’s whole length in one quick shove.
Jenny let go of Danny’s prick and began to really hump CJ,
lifting her hips to take each of his thrusts. Danny moved down
on the bed and took Jenny’s right nipple into his mouth.
I couldn’t believe this! This was my wife who said she did
it only for me, fucking and sucking the neighborhood schoolboys!
I also couldn’t believe it, but she never looked sexier!
CJ soon came and quickly rolled from between my wife’s
spread thighs. Danny rolled over and pulled on her hips until
she was kneeling on all fours in front of that big cock of his.
Danny was not gentle as he shoved his cock in to the hilt and
started to bang away at Jenny. CJ moved his head under her
swinging tits and grabbed one with his hand and the other with
his mouth.
Through the windows I couldn’t hear a thing, but I could see
how much Jenny was enjoying being an easy piece of ass for these
two young studs. She had her first orgasm as Danny was pounding
his meat into her, and he came soon after that.
They all rolled apart, and I expected them to start getting
dressed, but, instead, Jenny took Danny’s shiny, wet cock into
her mouth and began sucking it.
Both kids had erections within minutes, and this time, Jenny
straddled CJ’s hips and rode his cock to a hard, fast cum for
both of them. She played with Danny’s prick with her hand, until
CJ shot his load, and then my wife-whore rolled over on her back
and spread her legs, yet again.
She fingered herself and said something, and they all
laughed. Bill was right. She was a slut! They were still
laughing as Danny slid his pole up her very pink cunt.
This was the fucking Jenny really got into. She wrapped her
arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. From where I
was, I could watch Danny’s cock rise out of her cunt, almost its
full length, and slide back in to the hilt, his big bag of balls
slapping against Jenny’s ass. I knew then that Jenny had taught
him how to fuck. He was giving her exactly what she wanted –
her eyes shut tight, her mouth open — she was enjoying the
fucking tremendously.
She began to cum, and it lasted for minutes, until her arms
and legs fell slack and she was still on the bed. Danny didn’t
miss a beat, continuing to pump away at her cunt until he, too,
finally came.
……
They rested a few minutes and then dressed. I carefully
climbed down from my perch and made my way back to my car. I sat
in it until my normal arrival time and pulled into the driveway.
As usual, Jenny was naked in our freshly made bed, fingering
herself as I walked into the bedroom.
I was incredibly angry with her for cheating on me, but I
had never been more aroused in my life then when I was staring
through the window at my slut-whore-wife put out to the
neighborhood.
I stripped in seconds and jumped on top of Jenny, pushing my
erect cock at her pussy lips.
She smiled at me, “No, Dear. I want you to eat me, first.”
In anger and sexual frenzy, I held her hands to the bed and
pushed my cock up inside her with all my strength. I looked down
at my sweet-faced wife and said, “I told you, I don’t eat other
men’s cum, you cheap little slut!”
She tensed her body for just a second, and then smiled,
again, “That’s what you think. You’ve been eating it out of my
pussy every day for months!”
That second, I shot the juice of the best cum of my life
into her well-used and cum-filled cunt.
……
Later, Jenny told me that when Danny came back the Monday
after my birthday, she did tell him what she told me. Except,
she said he looked so crushed and broken she offered him “one
last time.” By the third fuck in an hour, Jenny admitted she was
really enjoying Danny’s attention and youth and stamina, and, of
course, his big cock.
That day was the first instead of the last. Almost every
workday afternoon, Danny stopped by the house and thoroughly
fucked my very willing wife.
She explained that over Christmas break, CJ’s parents went
out of town and he was staying with Danny. They were best
friends and Danny had already told CJ about Jenny (against
Jenny’s wishes), and CJ sat in the livingroom while Danny and
Jenny got their rocks off upstairs. On the third day of this,
Jenny felt sorry for CJ and his raging teenage hormones and told
Danny to send CJ up when he was dressed. Only two days later, it
was a threesome, and has been a threesome since.
Jenny said she thought the whole thing was more than I
wanted to handle, especially everyday, a teenager or two, and a
neighbor, so she kept the whole affair a secret from me. When I
wouldn’t eat her pussy after Bill fucked her, she said it was an
incredible turn-on to have me eat her out almost every day, after
her two young studs had filled her pussy up with their gooey cum.
She always cleaned away any excess drips on the outside of her
pussy, so it wouldn’t be obvious. I told her I honestly didn’t
know, and thought she tasted great. To me, she just tasted like
sex.
……
So, in the end, I got what I thought I wanted, but more than
I expected. I knew I’d enjoy watching another man fuck my lovely
wife, but I had never expected my wife to enjoy other men fucking
her so much!
Are we happy?
Jenny certainly is, and I still like to watch — but she is
certainly fucking a whole lot more than I’m watching. Just
yesterday, she even mentioned that CJ’s older twin brothers will
be home from college for the summer — and she had a real sparkle
in her eyes when she said it!

Joe flipped the lights on and stared at us in shock.
I could sense his anger swell as his eyes darted in our direction,
seeing our naked bodies slick and stained with cum. I stared back at him,
somehow shot with a tinge of guilt, yet I forced a sinister glare and
said nothing…
“You cock suckin’ FUCK!” Joe managed to mumble out loud.
…End of the part3. To be continued..

REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

(please note, I have eliminated the obvious copies like, “you can have a
guitar all month long”, and “a guitar doesn’t care how many guitars you own”)

1. A guitar has a volume knob
2. If you break a guitar’s G-string, it only costs $0.79 for a new one
3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
4. You can unplug a guitar
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
8. You can have a guitar any color you want and noone will care
9. If your guitar gets loose, you can just tighten up the strings
10. If your guitar doesn’t make sounds you like, you can change pickups
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
14. If you scratch a guitar’s back, it’s unintentional, not required
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free

Now, for the opposite:

REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS

1. Women are more fun when the power goes out
2. You can’t get your guitar wet
3. Ever try to screw a guitar?
4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4″ (ouch!)
5. A guitar won’t beg to be played
6. It’s no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
8. Guitars aren’t very aggressive
9. A guitar won’t play you back
10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream
11. A guitar won’t scratch *your* back
12. A guitar won’t drive you home if you’re too drunk
13. A guitar doesn’t care who plays it
14. You can’t play two guitars at once
15. You can’t fall in love with a guitar (awwwwwww, gee, how sweet
(well, maybe you can, but they can’t love you back)

These are my own. I get sick of regurgitated ones. I hope you like them.

–

[Father Goose #47]

Once upon a time, bad King John raised a mighty army and set
out to conquer the known world. After a series of
successful campaigns, the remaining kings realized that
their lone efforts would never prevail. They had to band
together under the leadership of the best general they had -
“George-the-Turk”.

George the Turk had promised that he would defeat bad King
John’s army and would place him on a rack – in a public
display – so that no one would ever again try to conquer the
world.

While George the Turk was assembling his army and scouting
out bad King John, he also ordered his engineers to design
and build the largest rack here-to-fore made. The rack was
then fitted with wheels and required 40 horses to pull it.
When all was ready, George the Turk set out to do battle.

Bad King John, who was camped by a river enjoying the spoils
of his latest victory, had not yet gotten word of George the
Turk’s army. George the Turk knew that his army must attack
quickly before Bad King John could prepare a defense. But,
alas, the 40 horse team pulling the large rack could not
keep up with the troops. George the Turk ordered more
horses to be teamed, but, still they lagged. George the
Turk remembered that Hannibul was not too far away in the
mountains with a herd of elephants. Elephants would be
better than horses for pulling the rack. So, George the
Turk sent his second-in-command to Hannibul to rent enough
elephants for the job. Hannibul agreed and also sent along
his best elephant handler.

This elephant handler quickly realized the importance of his
unique position in George the Turk’s army and insisted that
he be given the title of “elephant engineer” and a huge pay
raise. George the Turk agreed with the title and the pay
raise.

The rack, powered by elephants and driven by the “elephant
engineer” , kept pace with the rapidly moving army.

Late one night they arrived at the enemy camp by the river.
George the Turk deployed his troops to cut off any avenue of
escape and issued the order to attack at dawn – on his
command. He also ordered the rack to be positioned on the
highest hill overlooking bad King John’s camp. This site
was the perfect spot to publically display bad King John -
to show the world what happens to anyone who dares to try to
conquer the world.

With dawn approaching George the Turk goes to the top of the
hill beside the rack so that everyone can see his command to
attack: when his sword drops —ATTACK !!!!!

All is quiet. The enemy camp is asleep. Every man is
waiting for the signal. The first ray of sunlight strikes
the helmet of George the Turk. He draws his sword slowly
and holds it over his head. The sunlight gleams off the
blade — and scares the elephants that are hitched to the
rack. They start trumpeting and rearing and the elephant
engineer can’t control then. He drops the reins and clings
onto the rack for dear life. The rack breaks loose from the
team and starts rolling down the hill — straight for the
enemy camp.

All this noise wakes bad King John. He orders an aide to go
outside the tent to see what is the cause. The aide takes a
hard look, comes back into the tent, and reports:

“As near as I can tell –

it’s a rambling rack from George the Turk with an elephant
engineer” !!!

[Father Goose #48]

There was once a very influential farmer in an obscure part of China.
He had a problem, for which he sought the counsel of the two wise men
in town. So he summons the two wise men, Hing, who is an scientist,
and Ming, who is a sorcerer, and requests that they find a cure for
his chickens who are losing their feathers and dying.

Hing decides to pay a visit to his mentor at the Agricultural
Extension of the local Community College, under whom he studied many
years ago. The mentor recommends the book “Everything You Always
Wanted to Know About Diseases of Chickens, But Were Afraid to Ask”.
So Hing visits the library, borrows the book, and finds inside the
report of a study that finds that feeding the chickens with an
infusion of gum tree leaves is often a cure for chickens losing their
feathers.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Ming reads obscure writings of ancient
wise men, he meditates, and he reads tarot cards. He also tries to
read the entrails of a fetal pig. Getting no inspiration he uses his
old standby, reading tea leaves. In a spark of discovery, he decides
that an infusion of gum tree leaves is the cure.

On the appointed day, at the appointed time, and at the appointed
place, the two wise men report back to the influential Chinese farmer.
Ming reports “As gum sticks to tables and chairs, so shall an infusion
of gum tree leaves make feathers stick to chickens.” Hing agrees,
saying “Four out of five ornithologists recommend sugarless infusions
of gum tree leaves for their chickens who lose their feathers.” The
influential Chinese farmer is ecstatic, for the two wisest men in town
are of a single mind.

He decides to carry out their advice, and it does not succeed. The
moral of this story is “All of Hing’s courses and all of Ming’s ken
couldn’t get gum tea to feather a hen.”

[Father Goose #49]

A certain African tribe, mostly swineherds and fishermen, lived on the
shores of a bay; the bay had treacherous currents and water turgid with
sand, but fishing was good and the tribe propered. They attributed this
to their sacrifices — a prize boar each year to every tribal god except
the sea-god, who got a gorilla. (A wise chieftan a few generations back
had substituted gorilla sacrifice for human).
One year, the tribesmen could not capture a gorilla. The chieftan asked
the tribal wise-woman, the surviving member of a Swedish explorer couple
who had gone native and lived with the tribe for many happy years, if they
should substitute their best boar for the gorilla. She was strongly against
it, even to the point of suggesting herself as a human sacrifice; he was
horrified and reminded her that porcine offerings had always pleased the
other gods.
The time of sacrifice arrived. With prayers for the sea-god’s mercy, the
shamans went through the usual rituals with the boar instead of the gorilla,
culminating in its being taken to the middle of the bay and having its throat
cut as it was thrown in. Nothing went wrong and the next year was as prosperous
as usual. After that, pigs replaced gorillas.
MORAL: Let a swine be your gorilla in a grainy, grainy bay. And if your Swede
decries, just tell her that a swine will always pay…

[Father Goose #50]

When South Vietnam was nearing its end, and General Minh was in charge,
a popular artist came to him and asked to make a statue in his honor (at
government expense).
“Please, General Minh, you are the people’s hero,” he told him.
“Yes, but make the sculpture in bronze,” replied the general.
So the artist made the sculpture, but when it was unveiled in a small
private ceremony, the general was furious. For the sculpture was made in
gold.
“I want bronze,” he said, “I want bronze!”
The artist went away in a hurry, deeply impressed with this show of
…End of the part9. To be continued..

A young girl asked her mother “Mommy, do you get into heaven feet first?”

“I don’t know, why do you ask?”

“Because the maid’s upstairs with her feet in the air, shouting `God, I’m
coming, God, I’m coming,’ but dad’s on top and won’t let her go.”

–

Suddenly and abruptly, I feel a hand being placed on my
shoulder and look up in surprise to see two handsome
men in jeans and tee-shirts standing there. One of them says
he didn’t mean to disturb me, but they knocked on the front
door and there was no answer, so they thought they might
as well try to look around in the back to see if anyone were home.

He explained that they were here to fix the filter in the pool
and that my husband had called them this morning from his
office. “Oh yes!”,I said, the filter is broken. Go ahead.”

From where the pool filter was located those two hunks had a
great view of me and feeling kind of horny, I thought I’d give
them a show. I undid the strap of my bikini top so that just a
little tit was showing and I pulled my bottoms tight up into my
crack. I knew they could see and that I was having an effect.

One of the guys, a blond who said his name was Pete, walked
over and asked to use the bathroom. “Right through the door and
to the left.” I said, sitting up a bit and letting my top fall
free exposing my large ripe breasts. The look on his face was
one of shock and embarrassment. “Oops!” I said, and winked at
him.

He just smiled and headed to the bathroom. While he was
gone I called the other guy over, Jeff was his name, a tall
muscular fellah with black hair. “Could you put some sun tan
lotion on my back” I asked as I rolled over onto my stomach.

“Sure!” he said. Slowly he massaged the oil all over my back and
legs. Then I turned over and asked him to do the front too, which
he did with a grin. His large firm hands began squeezing and
rubbing my tits. As he did that I reached up and unzipped his
pants revealing a thick hard ten inch cock! I sat up on the
lounge chair and slid his hot meat into my mouth. I sucked
slowly on the head of his fat dick, slipping it in and out
between my red succulent lips. By then his friend was back and
was already taking off his pants. I laid back on the lounge
chair and removed my bottoms. I spread my legs wide and the
blond guy took his big hard shaft and plunged it into my
dripping cunt.

The other guy stood over me and fucked my large aching tits
and mouth with his giant prick. The two of them pumped away
filling my mouth and pussy with their cocks. I wiggled and
moaned as they thrust in and out of me, ravishing my hot naked
body. My pussy clamped down tight on the thick tool between my
legs brought me orgasm after orgasm. I could feel the cock in
my mouth swell and I sucked faster until the guy shot a hot
creamy load of come down my throat. Then the guy fucking me blew
his wad deep in my cunt. I laid back, basted in their love
juices, and smiled.

After all of that exotic lovemaking, we all went for a cool
refreshing swim and did it again before my husband got home.

Tim Holland and Sheila Graves checked into the Golden Swan Motel at
around 9:45 PM. The motel was one of the many establishments
clustered around Disneyland. The rooms were pretty clean, and the
price ($30 for the night) was just right for the two high school
students who, after enjoying the thrills and joys of Walt Disney’s
creation, were ready to take in the even greater sights and pleasures
of each other’s bodies. A very horny Tim, with one arm around
Sheila’s sexy waist, unlocked the door to the room, and they entered.
Then they immediately dove for the bed.

Tim and Sheila did not know that they were going to be making love on
live television that night.

“And now, stay tuned for ‘In The Bedroom’, NEXT ON FOX 11!” I got up
from the couch and went to the kitchen to replenish my snack supply
as the commercials came on, and returned just as the show’s opening
title screen and theme music came in on the tube. According to A.C.
Nielsen, roughly forty million viewers would be tuning in to their
local Fox channels right about now.

“Hi, I’m Gene Siskel, of the Chicago Sun-Times!” Gene said with a big
smile. Then the face of his partner appeared. “And I’m Roger Ebert,
of the Chicago Tribune! Tonight we have placed our hidden
mini-camera inside a cheap motel room somewhere in Anaheim,
California. We’ll be reviewing the lovemaking of Tim Holland and
Sheila Graves as it happens LIVE.” Gene’s face reappeared on the
screen. “Tim and Sheila are your typical 1990’s American high school
students. For that reason alone, I am skeptical of these two turning
in a good performance. Sex as enjoyed by today’s teens tends toward
the rapid-fire — BAM BAM BAM!” Gene punctuated his BAM’s by rapidly
chopping the air with one hand. “There’s no foreplay! Nothing to set
the mood…” The camera panned to Roger as he interjected, “Gene,
once again you are jumping to a conclusion before viewing the act!
Let’s switch to the live scene from the motel room and see how our
two lovebirds are doing.” I had to agree with him. Let’s get on
with it!

The camera pulled back so that both reviewers were visible. Above
them was a large grey screen. It remained blank for a few seconds as
Roger and Gene turned toward it, then the transmission from the
hidden minicam appeared on it, bright and clear despite the dim light
in the motel room. The young couple were lying on the bed, still
fully clothed, locked in a tight embrace and kissing with youthful
vigor. I could see the swell of the girl’s full breasts underneath
her sweater, and I began to get a hard-on. Roger turned from the
screen to look at Gene and spoke first. “See? I think that your
‘BAM BAM BAM’ theory is probably already shot. They are NOT racing
through this, they are NOT…” Roger leaned forward and waved his
hands in circles in accompaniment with each NOT. “…rushing past
the foreplay, they are exhibiting an excellent and healthy attitude
toward sex.” Gene chuckled and shook his head. “I think it is YOU
who are jumping to a quick conclusion here. It is to early to deci–
see? Look!” He indicated the screen, which showed Tim and Sheila
lustily and quickly removing each other’s clothes. Her sexy body and
yummy boobs appeared, and my cock stiffened about 600 percent.
Oooooh! This was gonna be good, I thought, no matter what Siskel and
Ebert concluded!

The teens were now rolling about on the bed, Tim’s face buried in
Sheila’s chest and his hands feeling all over her body. Gene had his
chin in his hands and a rather glum look on his face. “This is
another thing I don’t like. This preoccupation with breasts!” As if
on cue, the minicam zoomed in on those luscious globes, with Tim’s
lips and tongue sliding all over them and feasting on them. “This
shows a marked lack of maturity…” Roger’s sharp laugh cut him off,
and he gesticulated wildly as he spoke. “I cannot believe your
negative attitude toward what we are seeing here! Tim’s desire to
suck on and play with Sheila’s breasts indicates a healthy sexual
desire and, in my opinion, reflects positively on his character and
personality.” Yay Roger! My cock stood and saluted his brilliant
insight. Anybody pro- boob is an o.k. guy in my book! On the screen,
Tim’s hands slid up and down Sheila’s sides, then slid up to her
breasts and piled them up into a hill of wonderful titflesh, pressing
the hard nipples together. His mouth alighted on them and began to
suck and tickle.

Now Gene was covering one whole side of his face with his hand and
shaking it back and forth slowly. Roger’s gaze, on the other hand,
was locked on the screen, obviously enjoying the action. The
minicam’s microphone picked up and transmitted Sheila’s moans and
aaaaahs as Tim continued to feast on her. Then, keeping his hands on
her boobs, his tongue and lips began to slide down her belly. The
tongue stopped at her naval and dipped inside to tickle it, then
continued its journey downward. Gene looked up. “Ah! Now we’re
getting somewhere!” It was Roger’s turn to chuckle and shake his
head.

Tim’s lips found their target, as Sheila’s whole body shuddered with
the powerful new sensation. Gene picked up on that. “That was a
good, realistic, BELIEVABLE response to his actions. Now this
performance is becoming interesting and worth the viewer’s time!”
Gene, you’re nuts! I thought. It’s been worth it all along! Roger,
Gene, and I all stared at the screen as Tim’s tongue teased and
tickled Sheila’s pussy, dancing around it and across it. Gene raised
his hand and made the “o.k.” sign, and said, “Now Tim is displaying
an exceptional oral performance. Notice how he teases and feints
with his tongue, making her think he’s about to plunge into her, then
he darts away and teases some more. An exquisite display of
patience, and an acute awareness of his girlfriend’s sexual needs and
desires!” Roger raised his hands, palms up. “O.k., I agree with you
there. It is a good performance. I do think that he should not
delay the inevitable too much longer though.” Tim agreed. His
tongue suddenly and swiftly dove into her hot vagina, and her body
gave an even greater shudder. The minicam zoomed in on the action as
his lips continued to tease her pussy lips every time his tongue dove
deep. His teeth got in on the action too, raking against the top of
her pussy. The minicam pulled back to show the whole scene, with
Shiela moaning and licking her lips furiously and kneading her
breasts with her hands and rubbing and tweaking her nipples. Ooooh
was I getting horny! The reviewers must have been pretty horny too,
but their professional demeanors hid that fact. “Tim is showing
exceptional patience,” Gene stated, “and an apparent willingness to
satisfy the Sheila’s sexual desires before satisfying his own.” “I
wouldn’t be so sure of that,” countered Roger. “A strong,
experienced tongue such as his is bringing him as much pleasure as
she is receiving! It is clearly mutual and simultaneous satisfac-
tion. Certainly a good performance.” I had concluded that long ago.

Tim withdrew his tongue from her channel, lay down beside her, and
whispered something in her ear. She giggled and sat up as he lay
down on his back. She positioned her vagina above his big throbbing
cock, and slowly sat down on his crotch as she guided his love muscle
inside her. Gene was nodding and smiling. “An excellent performance
there too. Wish I could do as well!” Roger nodded his reluctant
agreement. “Yes, I’d put this as one of the best acts of lovemaking
we have seen in recent months. The power and tension absolutely
ripples from this couple like heat off a desert pavement!” Tim’s
hands were clasped on Sheila’s hips as he drove his cock in and out
of her. Her body was undulating and writhing, her breasts swaying
back and forth. I had to resist going to the TV set and put my hands
up on the screen where that luscious body and those beautiful
jiggling jugs were! Tim’s hands climbed up her body and fondled them
as his dick rammed into her. Gene and Roger seemed to have been
rendered speechless as Tim’s hips moved quicker and quicker, and
Sheila grabbed his hands and pressed them even harder into her boobs.
Then her body gave a mighty heave as Tim came inside her, sending her
to orgasm at the same time. Wow!! They both panted and sighed for a
moment, then Sheila lay down on top of her boyfriend. What a sight!

The two reviewers broke into applause. “Bravo!” shouted Gene. “A
very good performance! It started slow for me, but after the
too-quick session of foreplay, followed by a needlessly long display
of his affection for her tits, he showed an amazing ability to
satisfy her lusty desires and his too. I give it a thumbs up!” Roger
seemed even more excited about what they had seen. “Well I liked it
even more than you! I found the whole act from start to finish to be
full of incredible sexual tension and release. A beautiful
performance by these two very talented young people, from whom I’d
expect great things in the future. One thumb up for me!” The camera
zoomed to Gene’s face as he delivered the “halftime” wrapup before
the commercial. “So that’s it for our first of the two sexual
performances to be shown to- night. Two thumbs up for a fine,
exhilerating session of lovemaking. When we come back, we’ll be
taking you next to a candid view inside the bedroom of Arnold
Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, and we’ll try to answer the oft
asked question: do successful bodybuilders really make better
lovers? Don’t go away!”

But I had already gone away — to my bedroom, with the image of Tim
and Sheila still fresh in my mind. It was not going to slip away any
time soon.

In their room at the Golden Swan Motel, the young couple, unaware of
their newfound fame, lay in each other’s arms, soaking up each
other’s body heat and kissing the night away.

–

A Users Manual From The
Computer Relations Institute

The following manual is provided as an aid to those open
minded adults wishing to achieve a more fulfilling and
meaningful relationship with their UNIX computer.
WARNING!!: Do not attempt the more difficult positions
immediately! Start with the simple relationships and work
your way up, or damage to the operator and/or terminal may
result!

LOGON

As in all relationships, you must start by approaching the
terminal and making some small talk. In computer
terminology, this is referred to as “logging on”. It is,
however, just a highly evolved form of foreplay (much like
the singles bar scene). If the computer is receptive to
your advancement (hey what is your sign? #grep
/etc/passwd), then it will respond by asking for a
password. This is the computer’s way of weeding out the
nerds before verifiably engaging in any relationship. It
also sets the term for the give-and-take interrelationship
to follow. If this condition of foreplay is successful, the
user is allowed to “access the computer”. Once this is
past, the user and the computer are ready to network in
some serious entanglements.

CHECK-IN WITH DOT

The computer has a vast and ponderous knowledge that may be
accessed by the temporal user (it’s “been around”). To
decide just what form of relationship will develop, the
computer kindly produces a $ prompt, which evokes the
terminal user to fork up an appropriate response and press
the ENTER key (more about entering later!). How much the $
expects is dependant upon Dot Profile. Everyone knows Dot
don’t they? Dot’s gotta hold on you where you live! Without
Dot’s help you could be awking off in the corner! Dot’s got
your mail! Dot’s got your history for the last several
transgressions, so you’d better be sure Dot is taken care
of properly at the $ prompt. No short changing here! If you
do short the Dot, you’ll be seeing it on the front page of
your news_rc

PROGRAM ACCESS

Ah! The fun part! Most programs require a lot of entering.
Care has to be taken here not to enter the wrong thing in
the wrong place! NOTE: You may find your self entering
repeatedly to achieve any degree of success. You may enter
as hard (often stated “strike any key”) and as fast as you
like, but like any sensitive partner, please be aware of
the computer’s feelings. Automation and modern technology
have produced the most advanced of all partners our multi-
user, multi-tasking environment. (Wouldn’t it be nice if you
could multi-user without fear of catching something,
including bullets.)

PROFICIENCY

The system, if properly approached, will respond almost
instantly and openly to user advances. (Dinner, dancing and
a show aren’t even needed.) As you improve you may even be
able to experience multiple relationships per day. Just
work your way up slowly. (Be careful, you are beginning to
sweat on the keys!)

EXITING

After accessing your favorite program and dwelling on all
the earthly delights available from the depths of the
system, it will soon become time for the climactic end of
the session. This step has been automated to allow the
users to take full advantage of their passions. The system
will be ready to get off any time the user so desires. No
more trying to time things just right! The user types EXIT
and enters for the final time. The computer responds
instantly, and with much relief and gratification, the user
is thrust out, finished and spent from passionate endeavors
in the exiting world of computer relationships. The only
thing that seems a bit unfair is that the computer
immediately begins to invite another LOGON!!

CONSEQUENCES

As in any highly developed personal relationship, certain
responsibilities and consequences exist. Privacy,
especially in multi-user scenarios is non-existent! There
are more ways to see what the user is doing and has done
than you would expect. PID (not pelvic inflammatory
disease) can generate child processes which will then spawn
PPIDs and so on. The awesomeness of the birthing of child
processes can occasionally be interrupted. The cause of
these birth defects is sometimes predictable, and sometimes
cannot be explained, and you wind up with a core dump right
in the middle of your directory! HONESTLY! There are proper
places for dumping. Thankfully, cores don’t smell.

Interruptus and aborting of processes are frowned upon by
the local right-to-life movement. However, the system
doesn’t seem to be at all distressed by multiple interrupts
and aborts. Sometimes its helpful in keeping the process
population from getting out of hand and into the system.

MORE ON MULTI-USER

The computer is the most versatile of all partners. For
those operators who have advanced beyond the one-on-one
scene, the computer is open to many variations. It is
capable of having relationships with many different users
at the same time. (This would be an unpopular subject in
news.soc.singles) It won’t even call you by the wrong name!
Caution for humans needs to be exercised. Multiple
relationships are very difficult for users, and
extraordinarily simple for the computer. Also, the
tirelessness of the computer can often exhaust the most
lascivious user. Hours on hours, days on days, until the
PIDs number 10^6 the computer will keep asking for LOGINS!

PROGRAMMERS

A very elite group of computer relaters exists, known as
“programmers”. This group can delve as deeply into the
mysteries of computer relations as is technically possible
today. It is this group, in fact, that is able to maintain
the computer at the fevered pitch. Not much is known about
the practices of this elite group, but studies are going on
at this time to determine how their complex groupings are
tied into the inner workings of the mighty computers. It
should be noted that relationships between users and
programmers should be approached with precaution. The depth
of knowledge of the programmer may well burn out the more
simple minded users if the computer is not allowed to act
as counselor.
In closing, the user is encouraged to explore the satisfying
world of the computer. Thrust in headlong to the depth of
your ability. Seek the serene but passionate heights of the
most intense programs. You will come away satisfied and
content in the knowledge of a relationship well founded.

DEFINITIONS

GOING DOWN – Occasionally, the entire computer will turn
“frigid” in mid-course and refuse to do anything. This can
be very frustrating to the operators. It is truly traumatic
to the users that are about to exit in the relationship.
The reason for this action is not entirely known. Indeed,
it appears that the result of going down has entirely the
opposite effect than the action practiced by humans on each
other that bears the same name. However the computer can be
made to recover from this withdrawal by very special
foreplay performed by system administrators. (Special users
and programmers). Going down has one redeeming quality. It
is often the cause of the PID numbers to fall nearly to the
extinction level. PIDs and PPIDs are annihilated by the
millions. This is the ultimate in child process evacuation.

COLD START – This is a term for the intricate foreplay practiced
by programmers on a computer that has “gone down”.
It appears that this is the only form of foreplay
that the system will respond to in order to arouse
a withdrawn system to engage in relationships with
the more common users.

WARM START – This form of foreplay between system
administrators and the computer occurs when the computer
has “gone down” from the secret actions of the system
administrators themselves. No one knows why this
ritualistic form of system deprivation is periodically
practiced by this elite group. Some theories suggest it is
a method whereby the programmers drive their satisfaction
from the frustrated energies of the other users.

BACKUP – A back-up is performed by the programmers at
regular intervals. It may be some form of rear-entry or
“back-door” access to the systems most private parts. The
reason for this is also not known., but at times when the
system “goes down”, it would not be possible to bring it
around again had some programmer not performed a “back-up”
recently.

RUNNING- This is a devious practice performed by the
a programming group or system administrators that is thought
TAPE to be a form of electronic bondage. The system is thought
to derive much pleasure from this. We know that it has to
do with the memories of the system, and is therefore thought
to be very important. This act is never forgotten by the
computer unless it is “erased”, which may be some form of
pleasure-trance induced by the programmers.

WARM DUMP – Not much is known about this. Theories presented
by researchers on system relations are so strange and
repulsive that this is most often handled by government
agencies. The droppings for some, called “cores” are
immediate calls to investigation.(Preverts) (Is that the
opposite of Postverts?)
MODEMS – A piece of equipment that can allow for telefornication
by both authorized and unauthorized users if
the system is not properly prepared.

collaborative effort by: Jay Lewis
Pete Rourke

Concentrating around the edges of a light buzz from the booze, I
drove five miles or so, and then turned off onto the airport
bypass. Keeping my mind on the road was getting difficult. Not
only had the booze reached over from the back seat and mugged me,
but Candice wasn’t helping a bit. She was sitting right beside
him; spraddle-legged. Sometime or another, she had unbuttoned my
rain coat, and was running her hands over her barely covered
breasts.

Like I said. I don’t know exactly when she’d done it. But, in
the ‘tur-let’ I guess, she’d ditched the knit dress, and changed
into my raincoat. And then some place between the time I’d
turned out onto the highway, and when I’d made the turn toward
the airport, but regardless – she’d unbuttoned it, and all that
prevented the bounty of her upper body from swinging free was a
light, lacy, almost transparent bra. And below the waist….
All I could see in the shadows was an equally lacy garter belt,
pressing into, and looping around those porno-image-producing
hips of hers.

=====================================================================

Leon’s eyes followed the couple as they made their way from
the bar into the parking lot. He’d moved to the window, and
watched with interest as Eric helped her into the car. Then, he
carefully followed them when they pulled away from “The Broken
Drum.”

Every time he saw the sub-title to the joint’s name he had
to laugh… “The Broken Drum” (You can’t Beat it)… Somehow,
even as corny as it was, the damn thing cracked him up.

When Eric’s car started to make the turn onto the Airport
Bypass, Leon pulled to the side of the road, and clicked on his
emergency flashers. He climbed out, and watched the tail lights
until he saw them flare briefly, and then turn into the police
pistol range.

As he waited to be sure Eric was not using the dirt road as
a convenient turnaround, he opened the trunk of his car, and
pulled out a battered leather case. Bodo had often asked him to
work surveillance on somebody, discreetly following and recording
their activities; so using the camera to make a record of Eric
and Candice’s activities of the evening was almost second nature.

He spun the rewind knob. Happily there was no resistance
indicating the camera was loaded. He popped the back open, and
loaded it with industrial grade, high speed infrared film. After
re-latching the camera, he double-checked the data recording
back, and smiled as he noted both the time and date were correct.

He took his time, sure that Eric would be able to entertain
himself for a while, as he attached a 80-270mm zoom lens, and
mounted the strobe that was already equipped with a heavy dark
red filter.

Leon smiled to himself, as climbed back into the car and
drove a hundred yards past the pistol range road. Then he pulled
in under some trees, and began silently threading his way through
the dense undergrowth that shielded the range from the road and
vice versa.

=====================================================================

When I pulled the car to a stop, I have to say, I was both
shocked and amazed by Candice’s reaction. She left no question
in my mind as to just what was expected of me in these
circumstance. She’d made it crystal clear during the drive from
the Broken Drum that she had serious sex on her mind.

As soon as we were parked, she climbed out of the car, walked
over to a nearby picnic table, and proceeded to shrug off the
raincoat that had only covered her arms and shoulders, and then
unclipped the tiny fastener that held the two sides of her filmy
bra together.

Candice’s spectacular, firm breasts were free, and I approached
her, and reached for them. Knowing what she liked, she quickly
turned around, pressing her sleek ass into my already hard
crotch. Since Mama didn’t raise any dummies, I reached around
and took a tit in each hand.

Candice groaned with pleasure, when my hands grasped those tender
globes, and then she purred, “Pinch my nipples.. PLEASE!”

I was used to following orders, so her request didn’t cause me
any undue concern. Almost eagerly I complied, and gripped her
already engorged nipples firmly between his thumb and
forefingers.

“Harder, damn you!”

I increased the pressure, and she moaned, pressing her ass even
harder against my now fully aroused cock, as she writhed. To add
to her arousal, I firmly tugged and twisted her nipples, and she
went wild…

“Oh, God!, Oh God, Yesss,” she hissed. “This’ll teach him.
Oh, yesss, do it, Do it!”

=====================================================================

Leon could hear them as he made his way through the brush
that surrounded the pistol range, and he hoped that he would not
be too late to capture whatever they we doing on film. He
thought having something on film to use against that fucking
detective might be good insurance.

Besides, from the racket she was making, he might get some
shots that would keep him company…. on those nights his sexy
young neighbor got his motor running… which was most nights….
Especially now that he had his telescope.

=====================================================================

Candice shrugged herself free of my clutching hands, and in two
steps was sitting on the picnic table. One foot resting on the
bench seat, and the other planted on the table top. She was
leaning back on her elbows when she said, “Eric…, you never had
dessert.”

She was right. Neither of us had. But, the night was still
young!

I stepped up to the plate (well, the picnic bench really);
prepared to hit a home run (okay, at least a double, then). The
bench of the picnic table was still damp from the rain, but I was
doin’ it for the Gipper…. or at least my best to her gripper.

I leaned forward, and lay the side of my face on her firm
stomach, while my hands were busy locating, and then stroking
their way up her thighs. Her musky scent, signaling her
readiness wafted into my nostrils, and raised my temperature even
higher. She was already shivering, and since the night was warm,
I was sure it wasn’t from the cold.

In a series of coordinated moves I hadn’t used in a while, I used
my fingers to open her petal-like lips, and ran my tongue the
full length of her soaking snatch. She came. Bucking and
gasping, her hips rocked in all directions at once, as they tried
(successfully, I might add) to keep my sucking, licking mouth on
(or at least very close) to her clitoris.

=====================================================================
…End of the part6. To be continued..

Ive been seeing lots of requests for the old beer is better posts
so here they are along with (for the women folk of course) all
about cucumbers.

======================but first=====================================
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class about the difference between
right and wrong.

“All right children, let’s take another example,” she said. “If I were to
get into a man’s pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would
I be?”

A little girl raised her hand, and said, “You’d be his wife.”
======================its true its true=============================

25 GOOD REASONS WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. You can enjoy a beer all month long
2. Beer stains wash out
3. You don’t have to wine and dine beer
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in
the car while you play baseball
5. When you beer goes flat, you toss it out
6. Hangovers go away
7. A beer lables come off without a fight
8. Beer is never late
9. Beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always
pick up a beer
11. Beer never gets a headache
12. After you’ve had a beer, the bottle is still worth
5 cents
13. A beer won’t get upset if you come home and have
another beer
14. If you pour a beer right, you’ll always get good
head
15. A beer always goes down easy
16. You can have more than one beer a night and not
feel guilty
17. You can share a beer with your friends
18. You always know you’re the first one to pop a
beer
19. Beer is always wet
20. Beer doesn’t demand equality
21. You can have a beer in public
22. A beer doesn’t care when you come
23. A frigid beer is a good beer
24. You don’t have to wash a beer before it taste
good
25. If you change beers you don’t have to pay
alimony

86 REASONS WHY A BEER IS BETTER THAN A MAN

1. A beer makes life easier.
2. A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.
3. A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.
4. A beer doesn’t want to watch pro wrestling.
5. A beer won’t expect you to cook dinner when you’re
not hungry.
6. A beer will never leave dirty socks on the floor.
7. A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot
IT makes.
8. A beer doesn’t care if you go shopping.
9. A beer doesn’t mind when your mother visits.
10. A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less
complaining.
11. A beer won’t leave you for a younger woman.
12. A beer won’t leave you for a younger man either.
13. You don’t have to worry about getting AIDS from a bisexual beer.
14. Having a beer can’t make you pregnant.
15. A beer won’t tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow.
16. A beer will never smell like a man.
17. A beer doesn’t wouldn’t trade you in on a sports car.
18. If a beer did have a sports car, it wouldn’t love it more than you.
19. A beer doesn’t want to go out alone with the other beers.
20. A beer doesn’t sulk.
21. A beer wouldn’t waste its money on Playbeer magazine.
22. A beer won’t switch the TV channel.
23. A beer doesn’t have to sleep with the windows open.
24. A beer doesn’t snore.
25. A beer can’t interrupt.
26. A beer doesn’t care that you can’t find your car’s carburator.
27. A beer doesn’t think black leather bikinis are neat.
28. A beer doesn’t belch.
29. Or fart.
30. A beer doesn’t mind having pantyhose dry in the bathroom.
31. A beer doesn’t care that you don’t balance your checkbook.
32. A good beer is easy to find.
33. Tall, dark, good-looking beers are common.
34. A beer can’t pout.
35. A beer doesn’t have a mother.
36. A beer doesn’t have friends who will drink your beer.
37. A beer wouldn’t yell if you dented the car.
38. A beer won’t get jealous if you enjoy another beer.
39. A beer won’t even mind if you have another six pack.
40. A beer doesn’t buy everything labelled “turbo”.
41. A beer won’t care if you gain five pounds.
42. A beer will be there for anytime of the month.
43. A beer doesn’t want children.
44. A beer doesn’t think poetry is queer.
45. A beer isn’t ready until you’re ready.
46. If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer.
47. A beer can’t talk about the women who had it before you.
48. Hangovers go away.
49. A beer tastes good.
50. Having a beer doesn’t make you want to take a shower.
51. A beer would never leave hair in the bottom of the bathtub.
52. A beer is never late.
53. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.
54. A beer’s life does not revolve around the world series.
55. A beer won’t think less of you if you can’t name the Steelers’
quarterback.
56. A beer won’t even act amazed if you can.
57. A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.
58. A beer never needs a shave.
59. You don’t have to let a beer win.
60. A beer doesn’t care what toppings you get on the pizza.
61. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn’t mean you
have to sleep with a beer too.
62. A beer doesn’t have morning breath.
63. A beer never wants to go to the drag races.
64. A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go.
65. A beer helps with the houswork.
66. A beer will never drink the last beer.
67. A beer will never fumble with your bra.
68. You can’t get herpes from a beer.
69. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you’ve read it.
70. A beer always lets you read the Sunday comics first.
71. A beer is seldom messy.
72. When a beer is finished, it doesn’t roll over and go to sleep.
73. After you’ve had a beer, all you’re committed to doing is
throwing out the container.
74. A beer container is recyclable.
75. A beer wouldn’t mind if you wanted it to wear a condom.
76. A beer will NEVER call you “Babe”. Or “Sugar”.
77. A beer is never tempermental.
78. A beer will never complain about your cooking.
79. A cold beer is a good beer.
80. A beer is not kinky unless you want it to be kinky.
81. A beer will never worry about losing its hair.
82. A big, fat beer is nice to have.
…End of the part1. To be continued..