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Her gasps became moans, first breathy, then louder as her hips moved
even more violently. She ran one hand through his hair while pressing the
other against her mouth in a futile attempt to stifle the noise. “Oh God,”
she moaned, “That feels so goooood…”

Harry would have said something in reply, but it was bad manners to
talk with your mouth full.

Not that it would be full much longer. Her moans had become cries that
she was powerless to silence. Her hips moved so violently that he had a
difficult time keeping his tongue where it belonged and he held onto her
thighs to keep her steady. The more excited she became, the farther her
clit poked out of its fleshy covering, and the easier it was to torment it.
Then her cries suddenly silenced as every muscle in her body locked and her
hips rose high off the bed, carrying Harry with them. For a timeless second
she remained like that, every muscle quivering in an explosive orgasm,
before settling back on the bed with a mighty groan.

Wow, he thought. Cindi never got off like that. Experimentally he
probed with his tongue again. She almost jumped off the bed. “No! Stop,
please… No more…” she pleaded in an exhausted whisper. Slowly Harry
uncurled himself and crawled up to rest beside her. He ran a hand along her
skin, which was cold and beaded with sweat. She rolled onto her side and
threw an arm around him, burying her face in his chest. She was shaking
like a leaf. He hugged her tight to him until the trembling subsided.

Finally she said “That was good.” She ran a hand down to his belly to
his penis. His erection had wilted, and she began to massage some life back
into it. It was not long at all before he was hard again, and she ran her
fingers tantalizingly along the length of his hard-on. She rolled onto her
back again, pulling him on top of her with surprising strength. “I want
you. Now!”

The little man spoke up in his mind again, telling him he was walking
into disaster, but Harry ignored it as she guided his penis into her. He
thrust deep, and she gasped. “Still touchy.” she breathed into his ear.

He thrust again and again, in and out, as her hips moved in time with
his own. With one hand he supported himself while the other ran along her
side, feeling her body. Her mouth met his in a deep kiss.

Too soon, much too soon, he felt the pleasure building. It mounted
higher and higher, until he knew he was going to come. He rested for a
moment until it died back, but it returned with twice the ferocity as soon
as he began pumping again. He tried to will it back, to force it down, but
the pleasure quickly grew out of control. He groaned through clenched teeth
at an explosion of pleasure as his seed shot into the warm depths of her
body. She held him tight as the echoes faded and Harold began to relax.

As the pleasure faded, fear replaced it. Now was the moment of truth.
Was she going to accept him or explode with rage? He pulled out and lay
down beside her, trembling slightly.

She noticed something was wrong right away. “What is it?”

“Nothing.” he mumbled.

“Don’t give me that. You just withdrew into yourself like a turtle in
a shell. What are you afraid of?”

He swallowed hard “I thought you might get mad. Because… because I
couldn’t last very long. I was premature.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked, “That was fantastic! I
haven’t got off that hard in a long time. What-” Suddenly an idea began to
form. “Harry, what was it you were so upset about when you first came in
here?”

Harold told her about Cindi. It took much coaxing to get the whole
truth out, as the pain had not diminished after all.

After he finished, she was silent for a long time. Finally she said,
“I almost can’t believe somebody could do that to another person. Almost. I
know Cindi. She’s pretty fuckin’ shallow and self-centered. How on earth
did you ever get tangled up with her anyway?”

“I don’t know.” Harold said in a flat, lifeless voice. “I used to
think she was something special. I was in love. I thought she loved me.”

“I don’t think the bitch knows what love is.” Julie thought for a long
moment. “There’s only one thing to do. We’re going to have to get you over
this little problem of yours. And I think I know just the person to do
it.”

Harold lifted his head up to stare at her outline in the darkness.
“You know somebody who can fix it?”

“This guy can fix anything. He knows more about sex than Dr. Ruth.
He’ll know what to do. And then you can show that bitch what’s what.”

“I don’t know…” Harold began doubtfully.

“You don’t have to know.” she concluded for him. “I do.”

They lay together for a long time. Finally she said, “Ready for
another one?”

“Another what?” Harold asked innocently.

“Come on, now. You’ve had plenty of time to recover.” She began
stroking his penis, which was beginning to swell. “See what I mean?”

He felt the heat returning as he caressed her breast. “Well, if you
insist…”

“Of course I insist. You know what they say.”

“No, what do they say?” Harold asked as he moved on top of her.

“It’s usually better the second time around…”

And it was.

Sunday. Squirrel Heights. By noon, the temperature hit 100 degrees.
The misery at the boarding house was more acute than usual, as hangovers
didn’t mix with the heat at all. Also, because about five times as many
people as usual had spent the night there, the place needed a good airing
out. Especially the front room…

Michael Wilburn was fifty one years old and solidly built. Though
balding, his hair showed not a trace of gray and there was a mischevious
gleam in his eye when he smiled that showed that he had not yet surrendered
to his years and probably never will. He was handsome in an offhanded sort
of way, and had an easy, outgoing matter. He had once been an economics
professor at the local university, until he decided to apply some of his
theories to the stock market and found himself comfortably rich within a
year. Students who once avoided his classes like the plague now begged him
to return to teaching. He always got quite a laugh out of that. Despite
some trepidation when Julie had introduced them, Harold was surprised to
find he liked Michael almost immediately.

They sat at opposite ends of a study on the third floor, Harold in a
ratty old easy chair, Michael crosslegged on a small pile of pillows. The
air in the room was leaden, stiflingly hot. The only light streamed in
through a half-shuttered window and striped the floor between them. Harold
wiped sweat off his brow every few minutes, but his host seemed affected
not at all by the heat.

Opening up to a stranger is always hard, but hope forced Harold along.
Haltingly at first, then more freely with Michael’s gentle prodding, he
…End of the part2. To be continued..

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you’d given up hope of it ever coming true it does. It’s like getting a

Christmas present in February. It’s not anything you expect, but it sure

can make you happy. That’s just what happened to me.

Before I share it with you I’ll give you a little background. I was

introduced to the pleasures of sucking cock at the tender age of 15 by one

of the neighborhood tough guys, who was a couple of years older than me.

He thought he was pretty cool, Mr. BadAss “forcing” another guy to polish

his knob, but he soon discovered that you can’t force the eager. It may

have burst his bubble to learn that I liked it, but it didn’t prevent him

from seeking me out. It was after all the perfect arrangement; he liked

being sucked; I liked sucking.

He gave me lots of practice; by the time I turned 16 I was a fairly adept

pole smoker. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy doing my neighbor, but after

taking his load at least 150 times I wanted to expand out to new (and

hopefully bigger) things. I looked at any good looking guy I saw as someone

who I could suck if the opportunity arose. It was just a matter of time

before something happened.

That summer, having just got my license, I wanted my own car. My dad made

me a deal. He owned a small manufacturing company. He’d front me the

money for my wheels, but I’d have to pay off my loan by working for him

during all school vacations. Who could pass up a deal like that? So that’s

how I met Eric.

Eric was 20 years old and everything I considered a super hunk to be. He

had short-cropped, sandy blond hair, pale blue eyes, an All-American,

Saturday Evening Post kind of face together with a body that nearly took my

breath away the first time I saw him. He was my definition of

masculine. There’s no denying it, I was in lust at first sight. From the

moment I noticed the bulge protruding from the crotch of his jeans I wanted

to do nothing less than drop to my knees and worship it.

Eric had worked for my dad since his senior year in high school, but we’d

never met. I knew him by reputation only. Dad really liked him, saying he

was a hard and willing worker and dad was never one to hand out compliments

or praise just for the sake of doing so. At the time Eric was sort of a

jack of all trades, learning the entire operation from the ground up. Dad

had great hopes for advancing him as the business grew and prospered. My

summer job was going to be to take over running the outside errands and

office boy duties that he’ been doing while he became more involved in

learning the production end of the business.

Of course this meant that for the first couple of weeks I would be working

with Eric while he trained me. As far as I was concerned this was the

perfect arrangement and I determined to have him before the two weeks were

up. To understand where I was coming from, or at least to put it into

perspective, you need to know that I was an only child with asthma and I’d

become used to getting my own way. Not that I got everything just for the

asking, but if I was willing to work and plot, I usually got what I

wanted. Add to this the fact that I’d led a very sheltered life, despite

the fact that I’d been sucking cock for over a year, and really didn’t know

much about sex in the real world. So it’s somewhat understandable that it

didn’t occur to me that anybody would see anything wrong with one guy

wanting to suck another off, and I certainly didn’t realize that a guy who

enjoyed sex might turn down the offer of a blow job. Not even the fact that

Eric was married with one kid and another on the way deterred me in my

quest.

I certainly didn’t waste any time. We’d been out on the road alone for

about 20 minutes when, not even trying to maneuver the conversation toward

sex I just came out and asked,

“Eric have you ever had a blow job?”

He looked pretty shocked, at least by the abruptness of the question, he

laughed a little nervously and said, “course I’ve had a blow job. I’m

married aren’t I?”

I didn’t know what to say so I blurted out the first thing that came to my

tongue, “your wife blows you?” I’ll admit I felt more than a little stupid.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

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That night when I got back to my apartment I couldn’t keep Rose’s vision
out of my head and soon found myself with a first class hard-on from thinking
about what I would do with her if I had her alone. I decided that I would call
the next day to get to know her better.

When I dialed the phone I felt my heart pound with anticipation as the
phone rang the first time.
“Hi Soft and Creamy number 21, this is Rose speaking.” came the softly
spoken words “…may I help you?”.
Trying not to get tongue tied I replied ” Hi Rose, this is Dickie from the
Real Estate Office. If it wouldn’t be too inconvenient I’d like to drop by and
take a look at the store and the operation so I can discuss it with my client.”
Actually there was a lot more that I wanted to take a look at but that would
come soon enough.
“Hi Dickie!” There semed to be a hint of excitement in her voice. “You
couldn’t have picked a better time. The store doesn,t open for another hour
and a half today and it will give me a chance to give you the Cook’s Tour. When
can I expect you?”, she said.
“Give me about fifteen minutes.” I replied, knowing full well that I could
be there in half that time…and intended to be.
“OK. I’ll be waiting to let you in.”
We hung up and I went into the bathroom to check myself out. Quite
satisfied that what I saw in the mirror was as good as it was going to get I
walked out to my car and headed for her store. When I got there and approached
the door I saw her standing inside back by one of the machines. She looked even
more fuckable today than she did yesterday. I tried the door and realized it was
locked so I rapped on the glass with my ring. She heard and came to the door to
let me in. As she approached the door I could see a big smile on her face and
decided that this could be good.
“Come in.” she said as she held the door for me to walk past her.
“Thanks…” I said, getting a whiff of her perfume as I walked in the door.
“…now your sure I’m not taking you away from anything?”
“Not at all, in fact I was hoping you’d call. I really wanted to show off
what I have to offer.” There was a noticable twinkle in her eye.
She locked the door and invited me to come into her office at the back of
store.
“It’s kind of like a home away from home.” she said.
“You see, the store is open from 11:00 am to 10:00 pm and I usually have to
stay late to finish up at night.”
“Those are long hours.” I said. “does it pay off?”
“Yes I guess it does.” she responded. “You see this is my husband’s and my
business, but he works as a manager for a restaurant in Parsippany and when
he gets home at about 5:00 at night he’s too tired to come and help.”
I sensed a note of sarcasm in her voice and decided not to press the issue. She
went on anyway and in about fifteen minutes I had a capsulated history of their
marriage and what was wrong with it.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I guess I get lonely. There’s really noone here to
carry on a normal conversation with most of the time.”
Not being one to mince words I just asked her outright. “Why don’t you find
a lover? Seems to me that might make you feel like a person again. You really
are quite sexy and attractive.”
She looked at me as if I had just plunged a knife into her heart and in a
matter of fact voice said, “Well, you tell me, would you fuck me.”
“Baby,” I replied “Only an asshole or a eunoch would say no to that.”
I stood up and moved around the desk. Taking her in my arms a kissing her full
on the lips.
“This isn’t right,” she said pulling away from me. “I don’t even know you
and I’m acting like a whore in front of you.”
“No,” I said, trying to soften the blow of what I had just done. “You just
need a man and all that goes along with him.”
I moved in once again. This time I found little resistance and as I put my
lips on hers her mouth opened to greet my probing tongue. I stroked my hands up
and down her back and slowly undid the zipper to her uniform. As I pulled it off
of her shoulders her tits sprang out to savor their freedom. I caressed them
with my hands while I used my fingers to tweak her nipples. She moaned from low
in her throat as I rolled and pulled on them with my anxious fingertips.
“Suck on them.” she implored. “Suck on them now.”
I bent my head and tok as much of her right tit into my mouth as I possibly
could. At the same time I sucked I used my tongue to flick the nipple that was
buried deep in my mouth. The smell of her perfume was like some sort of trigger.
My cock began to grow in my pants and I took her hand and put it on my crotch.
It was obvious that she knew exactly what to do. She cupped her hand and began a
slow circular rubbing of my now hard cock. I moved to the other tit and began to
give it the same attention that I had given to the first. I dropped a hand to
her crotch and began to rub her pussy in the same manner that she was rubbing my
cock.
“Take your dress off I want to see you naked in front of me.” I said as I
pulled the dress down around her hips. She wriggled and freed herself of the
dress and reached out and undid my pants, pulled them to my knees and pulled my
underwear off. We each stepped out of the remainder of our clothes. Her tits
glistened with my saliva. Her pussy was covered with a soft shadowy down of
blonde hair and her pussy lips were dark pink and already begining to get wet.
“I want to lick your pussy.” I said. “I want to smell you and taste you.”
I dropped to my knees, reached around behind her and took the firm cheeks of her
ass in my hands, I spread them with two fingers as I pushed a third against her
tight asshole. She moaned again and pusshed her pussy toward my waiting mouth.
I darted my tongue out and flicked at her waiting pussy lips. I poked harder and
deeper until I could feel her clit. I continued to poke and lick. Her juices
were starting to flow and I could taste her honeysweet snatch as I probed more
and more.
She was moaning loudly now. “Yesss… Eat me… Eat me hard… Lick my
cunt!”
As I sucked harder and harder on her now swollen clit I felt her begin to
shudder. I backed of just long enough to say, “Cum in my mouth baby, let me
taste it.”
All the time I licked and sucked she had been playing with her tits and now
she dropped her hands down to her pussy stuck them deep between her legs
and spread herself open. My tongue, now beginning to tire was aching but I kept
going.
She shook violently now, her breath coming in short sharp gasps.
“OH GOD!!…II’M CCUMMING!!” she stuttered. “OOO…MY CUNT…SSUCK IT…”
she screamed. “PLEASE I HAVE TO HAVE YOUR COCK IN MY MOUTH!”
In on one motion I stood up and pushed her to her knees. I grabbed the back
of her head and drove my rod deep down her throat. Hungrily she tongued, sucked
and tried to swallow my cock. I began to thrust my hips at her waiting mouth as
she continued to suck. It was an unbelievable sensation.
I felt balls begin to tighten and felt the tingling in my groin that told
me I was about to cum but I couldn’t stop fucking her incredible mouth. I picked
up speed and as if she knew what was about to happen she stopped sucking and let
my cock fall from her mouth.
“You can’t cum yet,” she said, the saliva from her wet mouth dribbling down
her chin, “I have to feel that meat in my pussy.”
She lifted herself onto the edge of her desk and leaned back on her elbows.
she lifted her legs high in the air and spread them as wide as they would go. I
could see her juices oozing from her snatch, which by this time was dark red
with excitement. I moved in and grabbing her ankles to hold her wide open slid
my cock in to the hilt in one stroke. It was hot and slippery as I began to fuck
her with all my might. She reached her hands down and to my surprise put two of
her fingers into her cunt along with my cock. I couldn’t hold off any longer.
With one last shove I drove my cock as deep in her as I could get it and came
like I hadn’t cum before. My cock pulsed jet after jet of cum deep in her snatch
as she continued to fuck herself with the two fingers that shared the space with
me. I knew she was about to cum again as I felt the walls of her cunt squeeze
around my shaft. “UGH…UGH…OH MY CUNT!…FEEL MY CUNT!” she grunted and
screamed as she reached her orgasm.
She relaxed as her orgasm subsided and I let go of her. She took the two
fingers out of her pussy and slipped them into her mouth. She sucked the mixture
of our juices off and looked up at me. “God Dickie, that was fantastic” she
said. “But I have to get up and open the store.” We got up and she got an apron
out that she used while working. We wiped ourselves up and dressed.
As I was leaving she said, “If you come back at 10:00 tonight I’ll show you
how much better I can take it in my asshole, I love to be ass fucked.” I agreed
to be back, and by the way she really did like being cornholed, but that’s
another story.

“I want to know who he is.”

“No.”

“Did you hear me? I want to know. You have no right to keep

this from me.”

“Part of the deal was, I promised him you wouldn’t find out.

Look, maybe he doesn’t want a relationship. But there’s no way I can

tell you without his consent.”

“If you don’t tell me whose cock was inside me, I’m going

to kick your ass.”

* * *

The guy wouldn’t consent to me revealing his identity. I admit

I felt awkward refusing to tell her who he was — she was my friend,

after all — but I had given him my word. We had exchanged trust; it

was part of the bargain.

Jeanine’s bitterness about me keeping my vow of secrecy aside,

it seemed that the whole project was going really well. Her moody

urgency about losing her virginity was gone; her burning curiosity about

sex was satiated, and now she comported herself more confidently, with

an uncharacteristic calmness. I had heard about deflowering having a

big impact on people’s behavior before, but I had never witnessed it

myself. I was impressed; Jeanine went from being a edgy, high-strung

swarm of electrons to a cool, flowing girl. If one morning I glanced

out the dorm window and saw her strolling naked over snow drifts with

flowers in her hair and her voice alive with song, I would not have

been surprised.

She also began socializing more. She acquired a fake I.D.,

and began hanging out in the campus pub with myself and various future

farmers. She danced to country music, quaffed tepid beer, laughed

dizzily at stupid jokes, and smiled a great deal. It was a terrible

irony that this was when the problems began.

One evening, sitting with Peggy, me, and three other guys

from school, she blew the whole operation. We had been playing truth

or dare, which for us was usually a safe and unsurprising game, and

just by chance one fellow named Dale asked about her first time. She

stared at him penetratingly — I assumed she was wondering if he was the

one — and then she blurted it all out. My proposal, the secret trust,

the grand mission to liberate her from virginity. I kicked her under

the table but she wouldn’t shut up. By the time she finished babbling

the guy was mortified, and she clearly inferred from his reaction that he

was not her man. An awful silence descended. Jeanine looked

over at me, wounded, helpless, stunned by her own stupidity.

“That’s a nice bit of fiction, Jeanine.” I tried to cover

her tracks.

“Did she make that up?” Peggy asked me, her voice high-pitched

and wavering.

“Nope,” a guy named Del said. “Too real. She said too

much details. Know what I mean? She couldn’t've made all that up

just now.”

Her face flushed, Jeanine rose unsteadily and walked to the

ladies’ room. Two of the guys, almost fainting with hilarity, went

to the pool table to repeat what they had just heard.

Later, Jeanine told me that as she exited the bathroom a

stranger approached her and claimed to be her anonymous lover.

As did nine other people over the next two days. One of them

was a woman who claimed she had worn a strap-on.

* * *

Jeanine told me that her response to all the guys who claimed

to be her lover was: Prove it.

To which most of them replied:

“Sure. But, um…the only way I can prove it is if you

let me sleep with you. Then you’ll know it was me.”

* * *

“The problem, Bobby,” Jeanine inhaled from the joint I had

managed to talk my older sister out of. “The problem is…I mean,

I can deal with all this bullshit, the ridicule, everyone saying how

desperate I must be. The real problem is, I love the guy.”

…End of the part4. To be continued..

gasp as his left hand returned to sight and placed the crimson flower in her

captured hand. “I always said I’d felt bad about that ‘email rose’ being so

insubstantial, so…”

“Oh, Mikel – I LOVE you!” she cried out as she hugged him.

“Ow! Yep, should’ve taken those thorns out,” he exclaimed as his arms resumed

their comfortable embrace of her warm body.

“I love you too, Nadine – as much as it is humanly possible, and possibly even a

little more. I will happily be whatever you wish – a friend, a lover, a servant,

anything – I’ll be it. I AM YOURS FOR AS LONG AS YOU WANT…I can only hope that

it will be a long, long time,” he finished, tears welling up in his eyes. She

kissed his chest, and pulled his body into hers even more tightly, sniffing

slightly.

They lay like that for a time, naked as the dawn, and held each other as the

afterglow of their passion made them drowsy. He recognized it for what it was,

pulled her head back, and kissed a trail from her forehead, down her nose and

onto her lips. “Darling, as much as I would be the happiest man it the world

just to lie here and hold you for the rest of time, we have a lunch date and I

don’t think we’ll pass the dress code like this. Does your plumbing give you

enough hot water for two showers, or must we share…feel free to lie if you

can’t bear to be away from my body from that long.” His mouth curled up into an

immoral grin. He fully expected the slap when it came, but not where it was

aimed.

“Ooo – aren’t we prideful all-of-a-sudden; you make a girl come a few times an

already you’re puffed up like a peacock! But sadly, I’ve got plenty of hot water.

To make matters worse, the stall is a little small…”

“Oh, well – I guess my ego will have to take the separation,” he said, releasing

her and sitting up. “I gotta dash down to the car anyway and grab some proper

clothes – you go first. Can I at least wash your back for you?”

“Done, and I’ll hold you to that.”

“Aw, I’d rather be held to your front,” he joked as he stood to pull the jumpsuit

over his naked form.

“Ugh, I hope you catch some hairs in the zipper!”

“Ooo, thanks for the reminder!” Mikel exclaimed as he shrugged his shoulders

into the coveralls. He moved one hand over his patch of brown hair at the

juncture of his legs before the other hand pulled the zipper up. He bent down to

kiss Nadine again and whisper “Better get up and get in there – if you’re not in

the shower when I return, I won’t be able to help you…”

“Mmmmmm, do I have to?”

“YES. Now, up!” He grasped her arms and tugged her to a sitting position. He

snaked his tongue over the side of her neck. She kissed his cheek and moved her

arms to encircle him. He removed himself from her embrace and said, “I’m sorry

for kissing-and-running, but it looks like I’ll have to tease you into the

shower. I promise that you’ll get more when I get back, if…” and grinned as he

stepped back. He was rewarded with his lover stretching and sliding off the bed.

When he turned to leave the bedroom, he stopped. “Um, Nadine darling? Something

just occurred to me – how will I get back into the apartment?”

Mikel heard her moving around behind him – and she slipped a key over his

shoulder, which he easily caught. She then pressed into his back and hugged him.

“Hurry back, my man.”

“I promise, and you’ve seen that I keep my word.” Nadine hands slipped away with

a sigh, and she stepped towards the bathroom.

He returned to the front door, and a shock jolted through his gut – the door was

ajar! He quickly scanned the room, and saw no one. He’d only been through here

once, though, and had been too distracted to take an inventory of the items here;

he had no way of knowing if someone had burglarized the place while Nadine and he

were ‘busy’…

He pulled the door open and heaved it shut behind him – breathing a sigh of

relief as he heard a click. He was about to start off for the outside and the

parking lot, but something on the floor attracted his attention.

The coil of wire and clipboard he’d used as props to complete his surprise were

sitting next to Nadine’s door, piled neatly. Mikel thought back, and remembered

dropping the clipboard and spilling the coil off his left shoulder when he hugged

and kissed his beloved, so the wire should be in a messy pile ON TOP of the

board. Someone must’ve been here, and cleaned up behind him! As he grabbed

these things to return them to the car, he noticed his benefactor had written

something on the blank sheet of paper he’d stuck under the clip – “Good luck

Pal!” Mikel carried his props out with a broad grin on his face – there’d be

nothing missing from Nadine’s apartment.

He cleaned her other breast, and then began to work down her belly, stroking her

scar with his mouth – pausing only to murmur “beautiful”. He shifted his weight

back onto his knees, provoking a pair of loud clicks. Her eyes shot open. “Your

knees-” she began.

He chuckled and silenced her with a kiss. “Relax – it sounds a LOT worse than it

is – it doesn’t hurt at all, in fact. It’s just a very unsettling thing to hear,

as I’m sure you’ll agree!” She acquiesced, but her face still showed signs of

concern.

“God, you really do care for me that much, don’t you?” he asked with a look of

admiration and wonderment.

“But of course, ‘I’m offended you even thought otherwise’,” she mimicked.

His arms encircled her and he hugged her tightly. “I love you, darling,” he

whispered in her ear. “And just to show you how much…” He resumed his

ministrations to her lower torso, untying the cord of the sweatpants she began to

loosen ten minutes and half a year ago. His hands massaged her hips, pushing the

waistband of the pants slowly down. She grabbed the post behind her and raised

her buttocks, permitting him to remove her last article of clothing. He paused

and regarded her mound, entranced.

“You’re not put-off by my c-section scar?” she asked with concern.

“Are you offended by my paunch?” He leaned back and puffed out his chest and

belly. “It’s not as bad as when I took my photo – gotten a lot of exercise – but

it’s FAR from a physique I used to have. Even so, I haven’t heard any

complaints…” he finished, as sly grin taking possession of his features.

“Well, now that you mention it -” she began. He laughed, and pulled her back

towards him, kissing her deeply and passionately to quell any criticism.

“ No – I don’t find it at all unattractive, love. It is part of what makes

you YOU. How could I not love it?” he said, brushing a lock of hair from her

forehead. “Besides,” he continued, holding her as he lay back and rolled their

bodies over on the bed, “it gives me a landmark to follow in the dark!” He

demonstrated what he meant by running his tongue down the ridge to her bush,

sliding off the bed. He paused and inhaled her musky scent, nuzzling her mound.

Grabbing a pillow, he raised her hips and adjusted the angle of her pelvis,

resting her legs on his shoulders. He kissed the insides of her thighs, his lips

a butterfly that alighted on her sensitive flesh every inch or so.

“You gonna mess around down there all morning or are you gonna DO something,

lover? I got the Phone Company coming by this afternoon,” she called in

frustration.

“Just for that, I think I’ll do a little more sight- seeing!” He felt fingers

entwine themselves in his curls and pull his head into the vertex of her legs.

He ran his tongue roughly across the length of her labia; it had the effect he

sought.

“Ooohhhhhhhhh.”

His lingual muscle traced around her labia, sampling the traces of moisture

already there. After some coaxing by his mouth, her lower lips opened like the

petals of a flower as they were engorged in blood, becoming warm to the touch.

As his hands locked with hers, he plunged into her slit and stroked the silky

insides with his taste buds. His efforts were awarded with a seeping of

honey-like fluid, which he lapped up eagerly. Satiated, he shifted his attention

to the apex of her cunt. Her ‘third nipple’ swelled as he flicked it with his

tongue, causing her to shiver and squeeze his hands. Then he returned to her

love nest, lancing his tongue deep within her depths. He began to fuck her

orally, the bristles of his moustache brushing her clitoris with every stroke.

“Oooo…nnnn…nnnnggggggghhhhh” was his partner’s only utterance. Taking this as

encouragement, the man increased his pace, only to have his eyes bug out as he

felt fingernails dig into the backs of his hands. Her hips lifted from the

cushion, her back bridging – supported by her shoulders and her thighs on his

shoulders. Her moans took a more urgent tone, and the flow of her honey

increased. He continued his assault on her nether regions, and was rewarded with

a cry of “NnnnnaaaaaAA-AA-AA-AA!” and a trickle of pearly essences over his mouth

…End of the part4. To be continued..

simultaneously perform fellatio on the receiver (assuming the

receiver is male, of course). Depth of penetration is shallow to

medium, but the angle of insertion is “unnatural,” and this makes

for unusual sensations. The penis contacts the anal/vaginal wall

or prostate, as with the previous position.

There are at least two varieties of the sitting position. (1)

The inserter may sit in a chair or on a sofa, while the receiver

lowers him/herself down on the inserter’s lap, facing away. (2) The

inserter may lie down flat on his/her back and the receiver sits

down on him/her, again facing away. This is another good beginner

position, since the receiver controls depth of penetration.

The “T position” has the receiver lying flat on his/her back with

knees drawn up and perhaps a pillow or two under the lower back

for elevation. The inserter lies down underneath the the bent legs

of the receiver, but at a right angle. There may be a significant

difference in comfort for the receiver, depending on which side

insertion occurs. Depth of penetration is medium.

The face-to-face standing position requires practice and considerable

agility on the part of both partners. The receiver raises a leg to

waist level, which the inserter grasps and holds. This pulls forward

the buttocks and anus of the receiver, and makes insertion from

the front and underneath just barely possible. Shallow penetration

at a strange angle is probably the best that can be hoped for,

but that this is even possible is rather remarkable.

——————————————————————-

Val was pretty well soured on both sexes. Sure, you could have a good

time with playmates, but they seemed always to end up claiming property

rights. Wanting to own you. Enough of that shit! He decided that he’d

settle for his own company for the foreseeable future.

It helped that he had started a new and better job. A well-paying and

non-demanding job. A job that involved his ass, as it happened. He was

an underwear model.

Back in their happier days when they were (literally!) “into” each other,

Warren had put him in touch with a friend who ran a modeling agency. So

now Val was making a couple of thou a week just for parading his compact

underwear-clad butt in front of photographers and advertising execs. The

lights were hot, but the work was easy and the ambiance classy. And he

did have all the required talents: the ability to freeze a pose for an

extended period of time, and even more important, a tight, muscular set

of buns.

It was too good to last, of course. As his modeling career took off

(they raved about his butt), he got more bookings than he could handle.

The fame disease befell him. They began to call him the “Ass Man,” and

his face became as familiar to the public as his backside. He couldn’t

go out shopping without being surrounded by screaming fans holding out

copies of his notorious bare-ass “Slutboy” centerfold spread for him to

autograph. He couldn’t go for a walk in his own neighborhood without women

(and sometimes men) sneaking up behind him and pinching his butt. His mail

overflowed with offers of marriage and indecent proposals in exquisite

detail from all five sexes. He had no privacy. The whole world seemed

to want a piece of him . . . a piece of ass. His ass was under siege.

Soon enough, Val got tired of peddling ass. He retired. With what was left

of his earnings, he bought a remote mountain cabin far up in the Canadian

Rockies. With no phone or electricity, he isolated himself completely

from civilization. His only companions were a neurotic Persian cat and

a custom-made set of solar-powered dildoes.

——————————————————————-

THE BOOK OF ASSES

Part V

Preventive Maintenance

The care and feeding of one’s ass has a major effect on the health,

and consequently pleasure capacity of that wondrous organ.

A healthy and balanced diet promotes healthy bowel habits and

maintains the vigor of the large intestine and the muscle tone of

the sphincter. Avoid animal fats, which can lead to rectal cancer

and other debilitating ailments. Consume generous portions of

vegetables and foods containing fiber and “roughage” and you will

be amply rewarded by regular and satisfying bowel movements.

Regular exercise, especially walking, bicycling, and swimming,

contributes to a healthy state of the digestive system and helps

shape and tone the large muscles of the posterior. Kegel-type

exercises of the anal sphincter ring maintain the flexibility and

strength of that all-important gateway to ecstasy.

Cleanliness keeps the anus healthy. Clean thoroughly after each

bowel movement, and as necessary apply salve or ointment to treat

irritation and maintain the suppleness and pleasing appearance of

that entry to the chamber of delights.

Enemas can be a useful adjunct to anal pleasure. Those particularly

sensitive to fecal residue and odors may find it helpful to cleanse

the interior of the colon with a saline enema prior to anal play. Of

course, exercise due caution in administering enemas, both to one’s

self and to a partner.

——————————————————————-

As cut off from the world as Val was, a leading New York publishing house

had somehow gotten wind of his writings and tracked him down. Having

jeeped in over potholed dirt roads and iced-up mountain passes,

the publishing executive breathlessly explained that there was a

multi-million-dollar advance waiting if he would only sign a contract for

“The Book of Asses.” A vast audience was panting for alternate sexuality

and “orifice liberation” literature. Now if Val would just sign on the

dotted line . . .

He was mightily pissed at having his privacy invaded. “How the fuck did

you find me, and what makes you think I need your filthy luchre anyhow?”

The executive smiled . . . and dropped her pants. She had a perfect ass

. . . and wasn’t that a wicked-looking dildo harness girding her loins?

“After all, we *do* know your weaknesses, Val.”

Then there was the added bonus of being able to reach around and with

a massaging hand make Warren’s hard dick twitch and spasm and spurt

. . . and see and feel Warren’s stretched-open asshole involuntarily

contract and clench around the dick deeply embedded within it. It seemed

that ass-fucking a man had its peculiar attractions.

The next time they met, Warren wanted to be on top. The thought had

already occurred to Val, but . . .

——————————————————————–

The one thing men fear most is being penetrated. Being fucked in the

ass. It implies loss of manhood, loss of control, degradation. It’s

the ultimate taboo. Yet, anything forbidden, especially *that*

forbidden has a powerful attraction.

——————————————————————–

. . . Yes, Val been more than a little bit curious about how it would feel

to take a dick into his own ass . . . to be the one fucked. He was getting

hot and horny just thinking about it. And Warren somehow knew that. He

gave Val a confident smile and began unbuttoning his shirt. It was a race

between the two of them to see who could get out of his clothes first.

It went surprisingly well. Warren was a patient and skilled lover and he

understood the value of lube.

The initial entry was a bit of a shock. Val felt himself *stretching*

down there, felt his hole enlarging, felt himself opening and being

pulled apart by the hard flesh pressing into his tunnel. He ached with

the sheer rapture of it and a long drawn-out sigh escaped his lips.

“Are you all right?” Warren asked.

“What you’re doing to me — it’s tearing me apart, but it feels so good

and I don’t know what’s happening . . . ”

“Just think of it as a transformative experience,” Warren suggested.

“Let your feminine side express itself.”

Looking at the full-length wardrobe mirror, Val watched two naked male

bodies on their hands and knees. It was bizarre seeing Warren’s bare ass

bouncing back and forth. The glimses of fleshy shaft sliding in and out

of his own ass brought on flashbacks of all the times he had been on

the giving end. It was perverted. Dirty. Unnatural. Thinking that made

him even hornier. His dick was hard.

The liquid friction of the dick pistoning in and out of him and the

sensation of fullness rippling up and down his gut felt . . . well,

good. No, better than good. Intensely good. Head-exploding good. His own

hard dick was throbbing in the rhythm of what was going on inside his

ass. Each time Warren bottomed out in him, Val sensed his guts vibrate

with a rumbling surge of power. After a few minutes of that, he felt

pressure building up within him and . . . and . . . Warren was holding

steady at maximum depth and reaching around to massage his dick with a

greased-up hand. Val pulsed and released his liquid between Warren’s

fingers, while his ass throbbed and clenched around Warren’s dick. He

gasped and strange geometric patterns flashed behind his eyeballs.

“So, you liked it?”

“It was okay,” Val managed to croak. He felt a pleasant ache in his rectum

as he used a hand towel to wipe up the wetness dribbling out of him. What

had happened to him, really? Had he lost an essential part of himself –

his manhood, or had he gained something? What had he become?

———————————————————————–

A quaint term for orgasm is “the little death.” The person experiencing

it allegedly dies, and is reborn changed in some essential way. So

it is with a man sodomized for the first time. He has overstepped a

barrier, and this has released an enormous charge of psychic power. For

better or worse, he has transformed into a new and different person.

———————————————————————–

“I do believe you’re a natural,” Warren was saying. ” A natural bottom.

…End of the part3. To be continued..

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sufficiently warped that one had to lean on it in the last inches. She had

simply pushed it toward closed as she walked in. I knew that she would

see the door ajar by inches if she were to sit on the toilet. I waited for her

to come back and push it the remainder of the way, but she didn’t. Instead,

she continued to talk to me as if the door just cracked open was a

convenience and not an embarrassment.

For all our openness, she’d not been this relaxed with me at home.

I strained to hear her intimate sounds. I needn’t have, for when she began

to pee, it was remarkably loud. I could hear her initial tinkle followed by

the characteristic hissing sound of female urination, pee splashing against

the porcelain, ending with the less forceful last squirts dribbling into the

water. I was enthralled with the sounds, for it called to my mind vivid

mental imagery.

As she pulled toilet tissue from the roll, I was suddenly aware that

she’d been talking the entire time and I’d not heard a word. Oh, Lord, I

hope she hadn’t asked me a question.

My heart sank when she said, “Will you?” in a tone that indicated

that this was the second time she’d asked it.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I missed that. Would you say it again, please?”

She laughed and flushed the toilet and as she came out of the

bathroom belting her robe, she smiled and said, “I asked if you had any of

that promised chilled Champaign, and if so, could I have some?”

We spent the next few hours catching up, first one then the other

talking, sipping inexpensive Champaign and once again, sinking into the

easy familiarity we’d discovered. I shared with her the intense

competitiveness I’d experienced in school, the long hours I’d been putting

in, trying desperately to maintain the pace and the feeling of isolation in a

crowd. “Christ, Mom, I haven’t even kissed a girl in months!”

“Poor Uncle Wiggly,” she said. The origin of that expression was

lost to me, but I knew it to be a tongue-in-cheek sympathy.

“Yeah, poor me,” I agreed, smiling. She’d never let me sit on the

pity pot long.

Looking at my watch, I whistled and said, “Even if we rush, we’re

going to be more than fashionably late. You want the shower first or shall

I?”

“You go first. You know how I like to fuss. I’ve got some

primping to do if I’m going to impress your friends.”

“You spend more time doing less making up than anyone I know,”

I complained, not for the first time.

She laughed and reasoned, “You’ll like the result. Now, get

going!”

An hour later, near-record time for her, we were off to the dance,

having given up on the notion of dinner entirely. Our entrance might have

been choreographed, for there was an apparent brief lull in the music as we

entered and people were mostly standing around the edges of the floor, I

thought, just to watch us come in.

My chest was puffed up with pride and self importance, having this

knock-out woman on my arm. She was wearing a dark green, partially

iridescent dress with a flowing, full skirt and a tight bodice, cut shockingly

low. The full upper portions of her breasts were visible and they seemed to

sway and bounce with her step. I kept reminding myself not to stare.

Sometimes it even worked.

“I must look good,” Mother said, “you’ve been staring at me all

night. Thanks.” Suddenly changing the subject, she asked, “Have you

smelled my new perfume?”

I shook my head and leaned toward her neck, as if to smell the

scent behind her ear but she surprised me by pulling the bodice of her dress

away from her breasts and leaning toward me. Suddenly I had an almost

…End of the part9. To be continued..

blind. Yes, I could tell. It’s tough isn’t it, trying to be subtle and look at

my tits at the same time!”

All pretense had vanished. Any thought I might have had for a

negotiated seduction was out the window. This wasn’t going as I’d

planned and it was wonderful. I couldn’t believe what was happening. My

beautiful mother was sitting on my lap with her breast exposed, the nipple

shining with the wetness of my saliva, groaning as she ground her bottom

into me.

“God, Mom,” I rasped, “I love you so much. I can’t tell you.”

“Yes, yes . . . I know Billy. Just love me. Hold me tight. Kiss

me.”

I couldn’t keep my hands off her body. She’d been squirming

around so much that her dress had ridden up on her thighs, exposing a

good expanse of leg. Holding her skirt-covered buttock with my left hand,

I ran my right hand up and down her body, then down to her left knee and

up under the hem of the dress to the top of her thigh, above her hose. She

scrunched down farther, helping me to lift the dress. Suddenly she was

bared to her pelvis.

“Jesus, Mom! You have such beautiful legs.”

Her only reply was to kiss me again and open her legs. I flashed

back to the afternoon I was looking up her dress. Now, however, I wasn’t

peeping. She was showing herself to me. It was clear that I couldn’t be

content just looking. Still I hesitated. Could I *touch* her there? Could I

cusp her mound in my hand? Actually feel her pussy? What the hell! In

for a penny . . .

I ran my hand up and down the soft inside of her thigh, moving

closer each time to her panties. She moaned and pushed her pelvis at me.

The side of my hand pushed against the cushy bulge of her panty crotch.

She grunted and lurched, snapping her legs shut, trapping my hand. I tried

to pull my hand out but she suddenly reached down and with surprising

strength, grabbed my wrist, I thought to pull me away from her pussy.

Instead, she opened her legs a little and pulled my hand into her crotch

even tighter, sawing me up and down against her cunt, moaning constantly.

“Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Shit. Shit, Shit. Yes. There! Do it!”

I scrabbled my fingers, trying to get in under a pant leg edge. She

let go of my hand, lifting her hips as if to help me. I gave up and grabbed

the lacy crotch of her panties and pulled downward. Again, she heaved up,

and with her free hand, helped me pull them down, first to her low thighs

and then in a tangle of limbs, off, muttering the whole time, “Get ‘em off,

get ‘em off.”

What happened to my sedate and dignified mother? Where’d she

go and where did this lusty woman come from?

Freed of her feet, I pulled her silky panties to my nose, inhaling the

essence of her as she was groping in my lap, fruitlessly trying to pull down

my fly zipper.

“Christ! And I thought *guys* had a hard time with girls’ bras!”

she complained. “Help me, dammit.”

“Jesus, I can’t open my pants much less pull them down if you’re

sitting on me, can I?”

She laughed and said, “This isn’t going smoothly at this moment, is

it?”

Heaving her off my lap, dumping her on the couch, I replied, “No,

but it’s sure as hell is GOING . . . and right now!”

I shucked my trousers and briefs, my hard cock sticking up

obscenely. Mother’s dress and bra quickly joined the frantic pile of

clothing on the floor. Suddenly, we were both nude, or nearly so. I was

stunned at this out-of-control passion that had overwhelmed us.

A very small, detached part of my mind was observing the blind

…End of the part13. To be continued..

aware of her. Aware of the smell of her hair and the press of her breasts

and the hardness of her pubic bone against me. And, as instantly, I became

hard. I didn’t wonder if she could tell. It was blatant.

“Susan,” I asked – it sounded strange to my ear, “could I kiss you?”

“Of course, Bill. I’d like that.”

“I mean a real kiss. An adult kiss. Not some little-boy-peck-on-

the-cheek kiss.”

“Of course, a real kiss. I never expected less from you.”

She closed her eyes and offered her partially open mouth to me, her

lips wet and seemingly slightly swollen. I opened mine and kissed her lips,

initially very softly, and later with more feeling. She kissed back, making

no effort to end the kiss, seeming to melt into it all the more. We kissed

again, and we mouthed each other, breathing into each other. I gave her

my tongue again and she responded the same way, pushing the urgent,

hardened tip of her tongue deep into my mouth.

I found my self slowly rocking my pelvis into her, rubbing my erect

cock on her thigh. I felt her push back in a slow, grinding fashion, pushing

her pubic bone into me.

“Let’s sit, Bill. I want to be closer to you.” She slowly pushed me

backward toward the couch and as it hit me behind the calves and I was

falling into it, she added, “Can I sit on your lap?”

Without waiting for a reply, she half turned and lowered her bottom

into my lap, wrapping her arms about me in the same motion, her breast

under my chin, her cleavage right under my nose.

“There! That’s better,” she proclaimed, reaching for my right hand

and placing it on her hip while I placed my left hand around her bottom.

She was sitting right on top of my hard-on. She squirmed a few times as if

better defining what she was sitting on. “Isn’t that better?”

“Ummph,” I exaggerated and in a strained voice as if an elephant

were sitting on my chest, I replied, wheezing, “Yesss. So much better.”

“You turkey, you. I hardly weigh anything and besides, you

haven’t paid enough attention to me tonight. Well, at least not in the last

few seconds. I want another kiss.”

I looked up at her and mimicking her surrender, closed my eyes and

offered her my lips. She immediately ran her tongue deep into my mouth

and groaned, “God, you’re delicious,” again grinding her butt on my lap.

Without thinking or conscious decision, I ran the palm of my right

hand up from her hip, across her waist to the side of her thorax. I missed

and was palming the side of her breast. She kissed me harder in apparent

approval so I went for broke and cupped her full breast in my hand,

thumbing her erect nipple.

I don’t know when we broke that kiss. Actually, I suspect we

never did. It just slid into others. I made no pretense of touching her tit by

mistake. Rather, I palmed it and weighed it and rolled her nipple between

my fingers in as provocative a fashion as I could imagine. I wanted to feel

her breast and more, I wanted to be patently blatant about it, that both of

would know and acknowledge that I was caressing her breast and nipple.

We were both moaning and voicing largely incoherent sounds. She

was hugging my head and tussling with my hair in a passionate, almost

frenzied fashion. Our faces were wet from the open-mouth kissing and

licking. I had pulled down the bodice of her dress, exposing her demi bra.

Her dark areolae were plainly visible through the lacy half cup. Pulling the

bra cup down, her hard nipple popped out as I bent my head toward her tit.

“Yessss,” she hissed, “kiss me there. Suck me, Billy. Suck my

nipple. You’ve been wanting to do this for a long time, haven’t you?”

“You could tell?”

…End of the part12. To be continued..

I pulled up in front of my mother’s house and beeped the
horn. My daughters, 12 and 10, came running out and I waved at
their Granny as I pulled away.
Melissa, the 12 year old, looked over at me, “Wow, Mom, what
have you been doing? You look a mess”
Krissy concurred from the back seat, “Yeah, your hair looks
terrible.”
I asked them about their day and we went through McDonald’s
Drive-Thru without incident. At home, Frank was just getting out
of his car as we pulled up. He waited and then kissed us all on
the cheeks.
“Hi, Honey. You look like you had a tough day.”
“Yeah, it was long and hard. The girls already told me my
hair was a mess. They just don’t appreciate the effort I went
to, to get it looking this way!”
He tousled it with his hand, “I noticed, but I thought it
looked sexy. How was the traffic on your end?”
I smiled at him, “Well, Dear, the Beltway was a real mess.
I won’t soon forget today’s traffic jam. This one guy was really
zipping in and out, then he got behind me, and he just wouldn’t
get off my ass.”
Frank patted my shoulder, “I know, Julie, there are some
real fucking assholes out there.”
“You can say that again, Honey.”
Maybe the guilt would come later.
Then, again, maybe it won’t!

REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

(please note, I have eliminated the obvious copies like, “you can have a
guitar all month long”, and “a guitar doesn’t care how many guitars you own”)

1. A guitar has a volume knob
2. If you break a guitar’s G-string, it only costs $0.79 for a new one
3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
4. You can unplug a guitar
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
8. You can have a guitar any color you want and noone will care
9. If your guitar gets loose, you can just tighten up the strings
10. If your guitar doesn’t make sounds you like, you can change pickups
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
14. If you scratch a guitar’s back, it’s unintentional, not required
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free

Now, for the opposite:

REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS

1. Women are more fun when the power goes out
2. You can’t get your guitar wet
3. Ever try to screw a guitar?
4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4″ (ouch!)
5. A guitar won’t beg to be played
6. It’s no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
8. Guitars aren’t very aggressive
9. A guitar won’t play you back
10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream
11. A guitar won’t scratch *your* back
12. A guitar won’t drive you home if you’re too drunk
13. A guitar doesn’t care who plays it
14. You can’t play two guitars at once
15. You can’t fall in love with a guitar (awwwwwww, gee, how sweet
(well, maybe you can, but they can’t love you back)

These are my own. I get sick of regurgitated ones. I hope you like them.

–

wench (wench) n. [ME. wenche, contr. < wenchel, child, boy, girl,
young woman < OE. wencel, a child, akin to wancol, unsteady (? in
reference to to an infant's gait): for IE. base see WINCH {1}]
1. a girl or young woman: now a somewhat derogatory or jocular term
2. [Archaic] a) a country girl b) a female servant c) a prostitute or
loose woman —
vi. to be sexually promiscuous with prostitutes or
loose women — wench’er n.

Say: , Wench!

69; I’m not ready; I’m ready; I’m the best fuck you’ll ever get;
I’m too good for you; I’ve got your pistol right here;
I don’t care if it hurts; I don’t know you; I know; I want more; S&M;
abort; again; beat it; because; beer; bend over; between the lips;
be useful; bite; blow harder; bondage; bow; bring out the soap; can it;
clean up; control; doesn’t fit; does it hurt yet; doggie style;
don’t be frigid; don’t drool; don’t fight it; don’t fuck with me;
don’t fumble; don’t get mouthy; don’t start with me; don’t whine; down;
do it right; drink; drive; eat my wrench; enjoy; enough; flex; food;
fuck me; funnel; get IN the tub; get lost; get off my bed; get on it;
get on the pill; get out; get out the chains; get peeled;
get the fuck out; get the gear shift; get the whip;
get your ass over here; give it a rest; give it to me; give skull;
groan; hand action; heartless; here, now; here I come; incompetent;
inhale; in the bucket; in the hole; it’s not mine; it’s now or never;
just do it; just put it on; kneel; know your place; learn it;
jump my train; let’s get it on; lick; lick it up; like it;
more lubricant; move over; next; no; now; oh no; on all fours;
on the bench; on the counter; on the floor; on top; on your back; open;
park it; pay the price; pay up; pour; pull over; pump; push harder;
put it on; quickie; roll over; rub harder; scream; see if I care;
service; shave it off; shut up; sink my pink torpedo; slush;
spit it out; spread ‘em; stop bitching; stop it; stop squirming; strip;
stupid; submit; suck; swallow; take it off; thrust my pork sword;
tie me up; tighten; tongue action; too bad; tough; troubled; vaseline;
where’s the hole; wider; wipe it up; work with me; you’re in the book;
you’re on the list; you sit in the wet spot

Say: , Wench?

NEVER USE: please; how are you; did you enjoy it;
do you want more; I love you;

CAN USE: so; PMS; on the rag;

—————————————–

Seen on a foxy lady’s tee-shirt:

As the Hurricane said to the Palm Tree,
“Hold on to your nuts, cause this ain’t no ordinary blow job!”

—————–

Q: What do you call a woman who just lost 185 pounds of useless fat?
A: A divorcee.

Q: Why don’t women have brains?
A: Because they don’t have a penis to put them in.

*************************************************************************

THE RULES

1) The Female Always Makes the Rules.

2) The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3) No Male can possibly know all the Rules.

4) If the Female suspects the Male knows all the rules, she must immediatley
change some or all of the rules.

5) The Female is NEVER wrong.

6) If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant Misunderstanding
which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.

7) If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize IMMEDIATELY for causing the
Misunderstanding.

The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9) The Male must never change his mind without EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT from
the Female.

10) The Female has every right to be Angry or Upset at any time.

11) The Male must remain Calm at ALL TIMES, unless the Female wants him
to be Angry or Upset.

12) The Female must UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES let the Male know whether or not
she wants him to be Angry or Upset.

13) Any attempt to document these Rules could result in Bodily Harm.

14) If the Female has PMS, All Rules are NULL and VOID.

**************************************************************************

The 9 Types of Boyfriends

Joe Sensitive – “After I wash the dishes, let’s cuddle, OK?”
Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg,
Snugglepup
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy

Old Man Grumpus – “People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let’s
stay home and watch TV.”
Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow
Mover, Jerk
Advantages: Stays put; predictable
Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass

Flinchy – “I–I’m sorry for whatever it was I did.”
Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you
Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle

Bigfoot – “Shut yer trap, I’m thinkin’.”
Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big ‘n’
Dumb
Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig

Lazybones – “Zzzzzz”
Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict
Advantages: Well rested; easy target
Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfull your dreams

The Sneak – “Who, me?”
Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a Bitch
Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
Disadvantages: May be having time of his life

Ace of Hearts – “After I wash the dishes let’s make love like crazed
…End of the part4. To be continued..

Chapter 19. Barbara

Chapter 20. Lisa

Chapter 21. Secret Codes

…End of the part10. To be continued..

[From The San Francisco Examiner, June 9]

International pornography magnate and accused racketeer Reuben Sturman
is converting a landmark North Beach strip joint into a big peep-show
arcade, according to city records.

City building inspectors have allowed the Sturman firm to begin tearing
out the club’s interior, but they want assurances that two of the peep-show
booths will be wheelchair-accessible before they will issue a permit for
remodeling….

–

** 016
Bill had just returned from a week of honeymooning, and his
best friend asked him how it went. “The first night we did
it nine times,” Bill said.”The second night, eight times.
The third night, seven times. The fourth night, six times.
The fifth night, five times. The sixth night, four times,
and the last night, nothing!”
“Nothing?” his pal asked. “How come?”
“Hey, you ever tried putting a marshmallow in a parking meter?”

** 017
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat
next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was
plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin
was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his
newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the
disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, “Say, Father,
what causes arthritis?”
“Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap,
wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your
fellow man.”
“Well, I’ll be damned,” the drunk muttered, returning to his
paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged
the man and apologized.
“I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How
long have you had arthritis?”
“I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”

** 018
Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom.
“Suzy wants to go out to my car. She’s really hot,” one boy
said. “I’m really nervous. I know I’ll goof up!”
“Take it easy,” his friend assured him. “All you gotta do is
compliment her. Chicks love to be complemented. You’ll have
her in the palm of your hand.”
About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black
eye. “Shit, man! What happened to you?!” his buddy asked.
“I took your advice.”
“Didn’t you compliment her?”
“sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told
her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She
liked that. After a while I started feeling her tits, and I
told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm.
She like that too.”
“It sounds like you were doing great,” his friend said.
“Well,” the other answered, “that’s when everything went
wrong. I got her dress up and her panties off, and I tried
to think of another compliment.”
“What did you say?”
“For such a large crack, it doesn’t stink much.”

** 019
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist
capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators
kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old
beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,”Are
there any gators around here?!”
“Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for
years!” “Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming
leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the
guy,”How’d you get rid of the gators?”
“We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said.
“The sharks got ‘em.”

** 020
A gambler was telling a friend about his first junket to Las
Vegas and how hard it was to get any sleep. “I was awakened
at one, two and four in the morning by a drunk chorus girl
banging on the door and screaming,” he recalled.
“That’s terrible,” the friend said.” How’d you ever get any
sleep?” “At five o’clock I finally unlocked the door and
let her out,” the gambler laughed.

** 021
Two ferocious cannibal chiefs sat licking their fingers
after a large meal. “Your wife makes a delicious roast,”one
chief said. “Thanks,” his friend said.”I’m gonna miss her.”

** 022
From the outset, the blind date was a fiasco and it was
intensified by the fact that the fellow was too insensitive
and ego-ridden to realize it. The moment of truth came in
the supper club as he clutched the girl’s thigh and
whispered, “Baby, how’s about our cutting out to my pad so I
can slip you nine inches?”
There was a moment of silence, and then the girl said, “You
know, I really don’t think you could get it up three times
in a row!”

** 023
After a wild freeway chase, the motorcycle cop waved the
speeding sports car over to the curb. When he walked up to
the drivers window, he was surprised to find a very
attractive redhead behind the wheel. “Ma’am,” he said .”I’m
afraid we’re going to have to give you a Breathalyzer test
to see whether or not you’ve been drinking.”
The test was taken and as the officer eyed the results, he
said, “Lady, you’ve had a couple of stiff ones.”
“That’s amazing!”the girl cried.”You mean it shows that,too!”

** 024
The blind daters had really hit it off and at the end of the
evening, as they were beginning to undress each other in his
apartment, the fellow said, “Before we go any further,
Charmaine, tell me – do you have any special fetishes that I
should take into account in bed?”
“As a matter of fact,” smiled the girl, “I do happen to have
a foot fetish -but I suppose I’d settle for maybe seven or eight inches.”

** 025
Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, “I want you to
help me obtain a divorce. My husband is getting a little
queer to sleep with.”
“What do you mean?” asked the attorney. “Does he force you
to indulge in unusual sex practices?”
“No, he doesn’t,” replied the woman, “and neither does the little queer.”

** 026
The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband’s
lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him
severely. “I demand proper manners in bed,” she declared,
“just as I do at the dinner table.”
Amused by his wife’s formality, the groom smoothed his
rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. “Is
that better?” he asked, with a hint of a smile.”
“Yes,” replied the girl, “much better.”
“Very good, darling,” the husband whispered. “Now would you
be so kind as to please pass the pussy.”

** 027
It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided
to take in the zoo. They spent the day, and at closing time
they walked past the gorilla cage, and the man noticed the
gorilla looking at his wife.
“That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your tits,”
he said. “Why don’t you take your blouse off and we’ll see
what he does?” At first she declined. But finally persuaded by
her husband, she took off her blouse and bra. The gorilla went
nuts. He started grunting and jumping up and down. “Hey,” the
husband said, “let’s really blow his mind. Take off all your clothes
and we’ll see what he does.” Again she said no and again he persuaded her.
This time theape really went bananas! He climbed up and down the bars,
did flips, ran around in circles and tossed his food all
over the cage. The husband went over to the cage, opened the door and
pushed his wife in. “Now,” said the husband, “tell that
…End of the part2. To be continued..

Mature bitches like this one always get what they want. This former secretary used every possible skill she had to prove she qualified for the challenging job! Well, if sucking on the boss’s cock and having him fuck you into your wet twat is not challenging, what on earth is? This mature whore showed her creative talent well enough for the interviewer to see she’d fit in perfectly!

mature debutants pics gallery 19

2) Boss hires real sluts only!It’s time all matures got a decent job! After all, they’re so good at sucking cock and fucking!

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What did we tell ya! This cum hungry mature didn’t even try concealing her nasty nature! She used every single trick to make her future boss feel she was a worthy candidate for the vacancy! Well, she was right. Whores like her are exactly what we’re looking for in potential employees! Hard nipples, wet cunts and cum craving mouths eager to satisfy the boss! This chick had it all.

mature debutants pics gallery 21

Our boss says you always have to make sure you’ve made the right choice. No matter how right the decision really looked. A casual meeting with an interviewer is a must for all the candidates. They have to prove once again that they deserve the position. Well, this mature slut was so persuasive that she had her contract signed right after the boss had shot his load onto her nice ass!

mature debutants pics gallery 1