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Suddenly and abruptly, I feel a hand being placed on my
shoulder and look up in surprise to see two handsome
men in jeans and tee-shirts standing there. One of them says
he didn’t mean to disturb me, but they knocked on the front
door and there was no answer, so they thought they might
as well try to look around in the back to see if anyone were home.

He explained that they were here to fix the filter in the pool
and that my husband had called them this morning from his
office. “Oh yes!”,I said, the filter is broken. Go ahead.”

From where the pool filter was located those two hunks had a
great view of me and feeling kind of horny, I thought I’d give
them a show. I undid the strap of my bikini top so that just a
little tit was showing and I pulled my bottoms tight up into my
crack. I knew they could see and that I was having an effect.

One of the guys, a blond who said his name was Pete, walked
over and asked to use the bathroom. “Right through the door and
to the left.” I said, sitting up a bit and letting my top fall
free exposing my large ripe breasts. The look on his face was
one of shock and embarrassment. “Oops!” I said, and winked at
him.

He just smiled and headed to the bathroom. While he was
gone I called the other guy over, Jeff was his name, a tall
muscular fellah with black hair. “Could you put some sun tan
lotion on my back” I asked as I rolled over onto my stomach.

“Sure!” he said. Slowly he massaged the oil all over my back and
legs. Then I turned over and asked him to do the front too, which
he did with a grin. His large firm hands began squeezing and
rubbing my tits. As he did that I reached up and unzipped his
pants revealing a thick hard ten inch cock! I sat up on the
lounge chair and slid his hot meat into my mouth. I sucked
slowly on the head of his fat dick, slipping it in and out
between my red succulent lips. By then his friend was back and
was already taking off his pants. I laid back on the lounge
chair and removed my bottoms. I spread my legs wide and the
blond guy took his big hard shaft and plunged it into my
dripping cunt.

The other guy stood over me and fucked my large aching tits
and mouth with his giant prick. The two of them pumped away
filling my mouth and pussy with their cocks. I wiggled and
moaned as they thrust in and out of me, ravishing my hot naked
body. My pussy clamped down tight on the thick tool between my
legs brought me orgasm after orgasm. I could feel the cock in
my mouth swell and I sucked faster until the guy shot a hot
creamy load of come down my throat. Then the guy fucking me blew
his wad deep in my cunt. I laid back, basted in their love
juices, and smiled.

After all of that exotic lovemaking, we all went for a cool
refreshing swim and did it again before my husband got home.

I wanted to thank you for that nice exercise video you sent me. I was
really surprised to find it in my stocking…I mean…at 36 24 35…I didn’t
feel chubby! But the phone lines were down this morning, and I was bored
so I tried it out for a lark….it WAS a LARK!!!!

I got into my leotards and leg warmers and started the tape. Good
old warm-ups…yuck!!…but this tape has some damn good looking dudes
doing the exercises…and I got….”warmed up” as I watched. I even felt
a little kinky doing the pelvic rocks as I watched their pelvises tilt
provacatively towards my own. My gaze remained riveted on their pelvises
as Jane began the arerobics. Through their stretchie suits I could barely
make the outline of a certain muscle that I thought could use some exercise.
…damn…better get back to work! 1-2-3-4 arms front…arms back…arch
out that chest…push it out! …well Jane…I’m thrusting my chest out
as arched as I can…can’t you see those taut nipples pointing at those
hairy chests beside you?!!!?? I’ld like to lick their nipples each
time they arch them towards me!

But its a little warm in all this…I’m sliding off the leg warmers
and unbuttoning my leotard. The background music is nice…reminds me of
this time I was with this guy in his car…well, never mind.
1-2-3-4 better follow the steps turn right 3-4…oh…lordy…look at HIM!
There is this gorgeous hunk of man working on my phone lines…well…
actually it seems he’s more interested in playing peeping Tom! And
he didn’t catch me looking…I think I’ll have a little fun with him!!
Besides…these dudes on the tape have been totally ingnoring me!
Instead of moving my arms around in circles..I’ll let my hands circle
my breasts as I rock my chest back and forth in time to the music…
oh, yes…he’s still watching! I wonder if he’ll notice me licking my
lips…mmmmmmm….

Ah…back to the pelvic rock again…guess I’ll point mine towards the
window as I pretend to keep watching the screen. My hands start on my
hips but move toward my thighs with each rock…my hands are just reaching
under the leotard as Jane swithches to floor exercises. I’m really putting
on a show now as I unbutton all my buttons and caress my breasts thru my
bra…yeah…this’ll make him HOT!!! Now my hands are roaming up and
down my thighs and I too have gotten very HOT…my breathing has changed
and I no longer want to tease…I want that man…NO ..I NEED HIM…NOW!!
I look at him and our eyes lock this time and he smiles wolfishly.
I beckon with my finger but he just smiles at me…and rakes his eyes
over my wanton body. Now HE pretends he’s working…but he’s still
peeking!!!

Two can play this game! I closed the curtains and waited…hoping.
The door bell rang! “can I have a drink of water” “Please do cum in”
I gave him his water then turned to open the door to let him out. HE
grabbed me then and said he wanted to do a few exercises with me. He
had the strongest tannest arms and I wanted him…so I took him into
the exercise room and started on warm-ups. I exercised my tongue on
his lips and his salty, musky neck. He quickly joined me in these
routines..as we deviated quickly from Jane’s routines. His strong
and gentle hands began to explore my hungry body…my nipples arched
longinly for his touch…I moaned when he found them. He caressed
them with his hands…then explored them with his tongue, sending
shivers throughout my body…when he took each nipple in his mouth
and sucked it was too much. I became so hot and so dizzy, I begged
him to stop. Instead he continued to suck while his fingers drifted
down and under my leotard. He felt around for my clit as I greedily
guided my clit to his lovin fingers. I needed it then. Sucking
and stroking he took me higher and higher..no chance for a breath
my clit hot and swollen soon exploded its passion climaxing for
what seemed forever!! Damn it was good! Thank You Mister!!!

I asked if there was anything I could do to repay him…and of
course he was ready with an answer. He took off his jeans and stood
over me. He was ready! Through the bottoms of his red Boxers I
saw his gleaming hardness. I got up on my knees for a better look
and pulled the boxers down to expose his want. I quickly gave him
a “blow job” breathing lightly over the lenghth of his shaft. He
responded by moving his dick closer to my mouth…”suck me…please”
I kissed the tip then wrapped my tongue aroungd his head…as he
began to moan. I continued feathering his shaft with my tongue
as I felt his need increase. He begged me to take it all in and
I relented. He was so hot he began to thrust into my mouth… I put
an end to that. I held his hips steady as I slowly sucked his weapon
deep into my throat, sliding it out, sucking it deep. When I was ready
I increased the tempo. He soon spurted with joy.

AS he rested himself I finished undressing and demanded equal
time! He laughed and said we should be even already but that as he
was in a very generous mood I should prepare myself. But I wasn’t
prepared for such an onslought! He started with my lips and ears
and my neck…teased my nipples and then totally mastered me with
his attentions to my clit. He used his fingers, his toes, his teeth
and his tongue…and what a tongue…he had me so high I never knew
if I was cuming or going…I know I did a lot of cuming…Then he
gave me a very wet sloppy kiss and entered me with his hard cock.
I wouldn’t have thought that I had any energy left to respond.
But after a few deep thrust, an answering need grew in me. My walls
responded trying to capture his higness as he drew back after each
new thrust. He positioned himself so that the thrust was greatest
near my clit. Each time he thrust a surge of shivers raked my body…
I was climbing higher and higher again nearing the places he had
already driven me. He had total control and held himself back till
he felt me climax…then he spent himself with 3 great deep strokes
and we lay spent in each others arms.

I must admit, it WAS a GREAT workout!!! Eat your heart out, Jane!!!

Love,
Sadie.

First Woman: “This is very embarrassing, but every time I sneeze, I
have an orgasm.”
Second Woman: “You poor dear! Are you taking anything for that?”
First Woman: “Snuff.”

————

What’s the definition of the perfect woman?
1) She’s three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth
and her head is flat so you can put cocktails on it.
2) The sports model has pull-back ears and her teeth fold in.
3) The economy model – she fucks all night and at midnight
she turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack.

————

Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher walked up
to them and displayed his endowments. The first old lady had a stroke,
the second old lady had a stroke, but the third old lady’s arms were too
short to reach.

————

This guy walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender and
says, “I’d like a scotch and soda and I’d like to buy that
douche bag at the end of the bar a drink.” The bartender
says, “Hey, she’s a regular and you can’t be talking about
her that way.” The guy says, “Okay, I’d like to buy that
nice, young lady at the end of the bar a drink.” The
bartender says, “That’s more like it,” and he walks up to
the girl and asks her what she wants to drink. She says,
“Vinegar and water.”

————

A man meets up with an old roomate whom he has not seen for many years.
The roomate has had a sex-change operation. “Was it painful?”, asks the former.
“No, not really” says the second. “How about when they cut off your dick?”
“No that really wasn’t the worst of it.” “Really?” says the first. “How
about when they had to create the new hole? That must have been painful.”
“No the worst part was when they stuck the straw in my ear and sucked out half
my brains.”

————–

Why did God give women nipples?
To make suckers out of men.

Why did the Detroit Lions hire two nuns and a prostiture for the new season?
Because they needed two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Why are clams like women?
When the red tide comes, you don’t eat them.

How does a man know when he’s eaten pussy well?
When he wakes up in the morning and his face looks like a
glazed doughnut.

Did you hear about the new video game for women only, called Dick-Man?
You put a quarter in and get fucked.

I’ve got a joke so funny it’ll make your breast fall off:
Oh…I see you’ve already heard it.

What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.

What do you do when your Kotex catches fire?
Throw it on the floor and tampon it.

What’s 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1?
Bo Derek getting older.

Did you hear about the new douche powder made of alum, LSD, and Kentucky
Fried Chicken batter?
It’s uptight, outasight, and finger-lickin’ good.

What’s the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.

What do fat girls and mopeds have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until a friend see you.

Why are women giving up bowling for screwing?
The balls are lighter and you don’t have to change your shoes.

What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
After five years, the job still sucks.

How do you make paper dolls?
Screw an old bag.

What’s the white stuff you find in women’s panties?
Clitty litter.

Bumber sticker: Support E.R.A. – make him sleep on the wet spot.

What do you call a rehabilitation home for ex-prostitutes?
An all-the-way house.

Definition of a wife: “An attachment you screw on the bed to get the
housework done.”

How are an oven and a woman alike?
You have to get them both hot before you can stick the meat in.

Remember what’s worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? (Getting
fingered by Captain Hook.) Well, you know what’s worse than that?
Getting eaten out by Jaws.

What’s the purpose of a bellybutton?
To put your gum in on the way down.

Why was the stamp commemorating prostitution so unpopular?
You had to pay an extra ten cents to lick it.

What’s the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?
You can’t hear an enzyme.

How do you make a hormone?
Put sand in the Vaseline.

What’s a cunt that talks back?
An answering cervix.

What do you give an eighty-year-old woman for her birthday?
Mikey … He’ll eat anything.

What do you call a woman who uses too much contraceptive cream?
A spermicidal maniac.

Why do women have legs?
So they don’t leave snail tracks on linoleum floors.

What do you call a hooker with no legs?
A nightcrawler.

What do you call a girl who’s just been run over by a car?
Patty.

Why do female parachutists always wear pantyhose?
So they won’t whistle.

How do you tell when a woman is wearing pantyhose?
If she farts, her ankles will swell.
…End of the part1. To be continued..

It was hot and steamy as we arrived at the airport in Bris-
bane for the long journey home to Boston. This was the end of a
month-long campervan vacation in Australia, and I, for one, was
overjoyed to be heading back to some normalcy. For an entire
month my wife Anne (I call her “the queen”) had avoided sex in
the campervan, or anywhere else for that matter, since “the
children are nearby.” – The irony of her way of thinking will be
evident shortly.
Actually, she is not very interested in sex anytime, since
she was taught by her mother that sex was “dirty.” The only time
she ever saw her parents making love, they were fully clothed
(hike up the skirt, dear – I’ll just quickly unzip.) Sometimes I
wonder how we ever ended up with three children; one is grown and
on her own, the two boys (Ralph, 17 and Trevor, 14) were with us
on holiday. Because I travel regularly, I have opportunity for
other sexual outlets during the year, but four plus weeks within
close quarters with a demanding uptight woman does not give you
much opportunity to develop alternatives.
I had some first class upgrade coupons, but at check-in time
was told there was only one seat available. Anne immediately
volunteered because of her “potential for a bad back,” and was
seated in 3A. The boys and I were given 21K/L and 22L. This was
aisle and window seating in the 2-5-2 configuration, and the last
two rows in the second section. I took the single seat, and let
Ralph and Trevor sit together for the first ten-hour segment of
the flight.
An attractive woman dressed in a loose sweater and very tight
blue jeans took the seat next to me. I could see that Ralph was
uncomfortable and maybe even a little jealous, since he kept
turning around to talk to me, but she was too old (29) to be
interested in him. She introduced herself as Christine, “You can
call me Chrissy.” She was about five foot eight, light brown
(almost blond) long hair, a nice ass – firm and high, breasts
with an impact even through her shapeless sweater, and obviously
in good physical condition.
Chrissy was headed for Miami to pick up her belongings from a
recent divorce; she and her husband had been working together on
private yachts for eight years, and he had developed a cocaine
habit. When he would not seek help to end his drug addiction,
and more immediately after a close call with customs in Australia
last year, she decided then and there to split from him, filed
for divorce, stayed in Brisbane, and had just been notified the
divorce was final. In the meantime, she had met another guy she
wanted to stay with, and was going to Miami to settle up the
property and return to her new lover. This I discovered during
dinner conversation and over a few shared glasses of wine.
Looking into my eyes, she confided she was “now free and ready
for some excitement.”
The movie started, the flight attendants went around the
cabin to lower all the shades, and Chrissy said, “I’d rather
talk, if it’s OK with you; this movie is terrible.” I had also
seen the movie and agreed. We spent the next two hours getting
to know each other better. Chrissy at one point said, “You have
terrific eyes, I get really turned on by eyes.” We talked about
the kids, and when she asked if I was married and learned about
Anne in the front cabin, she thought it displayed selfish behav-
ior and then never mentioned my marital status again.
By now, the boys had fallen asleep, and just before the end
of the movie, Chrissy excused herself for a few minutes, reached
into the overhead bin for her carry-on (stretched long enough to
get my mind focused on her hips and legs in those wonderful tight
jeans,) and headed to the lavatory in the back. When she re-
turned, she was wearing loose-fitting sweatpants, and when she
asked if I minded if she lifted the arm dividing the seats, I
replied “Of course not!” By now I had an idea of what she had in
mind, because she had confided during the movie that one of her
greatest turn-ons was the risk of discovery while having sex.
“My husband was not a great lover, but in the close confines of
the boat it was always exciting to fuck without anyone nearby
knowing about it; I had more orgasms from fucking near other
people than from the sex act itself.” As she shared this with
me, she was already visibly breathing more quickly.
Chrissy and I arranged the blankets over both of us, now no
longer separated, and curled up like spoons in the otherwise
crowded seats. I started to give her a back rub, slowly working
over her muscles by now cramped from the first five hours of the
flight. She purred quietly, and after a while squirmed her
shapely ass on the seat, pushing it back into my
growing erection. With both hands I reached around under her
loose sweater, and fondled her globes, her nipples growing firmer
under my gentle stroking.
Chrissy reached back and with one hand released my belt, then
unbuckled and unbuttoned my pants. I whispered in her ear, “How
do you do that? I can’t even do that with one hand, and they’re
my pants.”
She laughed, and said, “Years of practice; don’t worry, it
gets better.” My hard-on sprang out of my tight bikini briefs as
she pulled the waistband forward, and she whispered, “I’m glad
you’re not wearing boxer shorts, I can’t stand them.”
Chrissy began to stroke my cock, now slightly oozing with its
own lubrication. She used the pre-come to help rotate her fin-
gers gently around the head, stroking it with ever firmer pres-
sure. I withdrew my hands from under her sweater to push my
pants down further, allowing me to slip the briefs down below my
swollen balls, which she now explored with her questing hand.
Lubricating her fingers even more with her saliva, she alternate-
ly rubbed my balls and massaged the head of my dick.
My hands were now free, and I hungrily reached forward for
her erect nipples, shortly afterward sliding my right hand down
her belly and slipping it under the waistband of her sweatpants.
She was wearing no panties underneath, and the inside of the
cotton sweats was already wet with her juices. As I stroked her
mound, her lubrication welcomed my fingers into her warm wet
cunt. Rubbing the juices on my fingers, I began to circle her
clitoris and then used my fingers to stroke in and out of her
pussy while my thumb pushed against her swollen clit. She was
breathing harder now, and could not stop moving her ass around on
the seat, first bucking her soaking cunt against my right hand,
then pushing her ass back against my cock through the sweatpants.
Just then, the stewardess came down the aisle, paused notice-
ably as she came up to our row, glared at me (me? why me? there
are two of us here, you know!), almost said something, then
apparently decided that since we were bothering nobody else, she
would keep moving. Thank God! While we were both close to fully
clothed at that time, there was little chance she could do any-
thing legally disastrous, but who needs the embarrassment, or the
hassle from the kids for that matter.
As the stewardess left, Chrissy whispered. “She knows exact-
ly what we are doing, and she’s jealous! Now I want to have your
prick inside me. I’ll keep quiet, but I need you to fuck me
now.” With this, she lifted her ass off the seat and slid her
sweats down below her knees, then separated her legs slightly and
moved back so I could slide into her dripping pussy from behind.
I moved slowly in and out as she purred and pushed back onto my
cock quietly so we would not wake our neighbors.
At the same time, I reached back around to stroke her clito-
ris easily but steadily. The appearance of the stewardess had
startled me, and most of the urgency for release that had built
up from her stroking my hard-on had subsided, so it was a nice,
long, easy fuck, punctuated by her spasming in orgasm three times
before my cock pressure built up to the point of no return. I
came with the most excruciating pleasure I had felt in my life
(actually for the last month, but you know how easy it is to lose
perspective at the moment.) I felt like I unleashed at least a
pint of come into her already dripping cunt. I sighed, and
whispered’ “Chrissy, it must have been heaven that sent you to
this seat. You don’t know how much I needed that.”
She then turned around in the seat to sit normally, and
kissed me for the first time. “I needed it just as much as you
did; you’re a terrific fuck, but on top of that it’s the danger
that makes me come so much. Thanks for being here, I dreamed
that I’d be fucked silly on this trip. As we kissed, I told her
about my favorite turn-on. “What I like best is eating pussy,
but there is no room here for that. Would you like to go to the
back of the plane with me?”
“What do you mean? In the lavatory?” she asked.
“Yes. If we are reasonably cautious we can get in there
without causing an uproar,” I replied.
“I’ve never done that before,” Chrissy explained.
“There’s a first time for everything,” I said, and moved to
pull up my pants and buckle my belt. She thought about it for a
minute, and then said, “why not, let’s try it!” She drew up the
sweatpants and tied the drawstring (I hadn’t noticed there was
one before – must not have been tied.) Then she got up and
headed for the back of the plane, with me following directly
behind.
She entered the first lavatory, which was vacant (good thing
the flight was long, and everybody was still asleep.) I slipped
right in behind her before the flight attendants noticed we were
even there. As I closed the door, she turned and we started to
kiss passionately. She broke for a quick query, “how do you do
anything in this little space?” As I untied the drawstring on
her sweatpants, I said, “Just lift up and sit on the sink, and
let me taste your cunt.”
Chrissy lifted, spread her legs, and I could see her cunt
lips were still swollen from her last orgasm. I gently tongued
her outer lips, occasionally swiveling my head to nip the insides
of her thighs, but always returning to circle her clit, and as it
swelled up, suck on it gently. There was no end to the wetness;
her own lubrication, supplemented by the enormous load of come I
had left in her pussy, dripped down both sides of my chin onto
the stainless steel sink surface and trailed down her thighs.
After tonguing her into a few more orgasms, I realized how
hard I was getting again, and finally stood up, sliding her ass
slightly off the surface, and drove my cock into her again while
we exchanged extremely wet but tasty kisses, flavored by both of
our juices. Such a short time after the last fuck, and she was
sooo wet; this time it lasted at least twenty minutes, both of us
sighing and savoring the overwhelming sensations coursing through
our bodies. Finally, after a slow buildup that I never wanted to
end, I came again, not as much this time, but she sensed it and
started bucking hard just at the same moment. The pleasure was
so intense it was almost painful.
The light came on to return to the cabin, and after a few
minutes we were able to adjust ourselves to some degree of
presentability to return to our seats. Just as we opened the
door, the same stewardess was looking right into my eyes. She
said angrily, “Please return to your seats and stay there. We
have some turbulence and the captain has turned on the seat
belt sign.” I couldn’t help but think that maybe we were the
cause of the turbulence, but then that’s just my imagination
running away with me again.
As we settled in to the seats, Chrissy pushed the seat divid-
er down, saying, “I think everyone is waking up, let’s not embar-
rass your boys.” The breakfast service was beginning, the cabin
lights were turned on, and we were again two strangers who hap-
pened to be sitting next to each other on the plane. The secret
of our mile-high lovemaking was secure.
We exchanged addresses, but with her in Brisbane and me in
Boston it’s not likely we’ll ever meet again. Both of us prom-
ised to use caution in contacting each other should the opportu-
nity arise, so our current SO would not be disturbed, but also
promised to get together if possible again.
I said goodbye to Chrissy at the seat, and went forward with
the unsuspecting boys to deplane.
As we got to the end of the ramp in the terminal, I asked
Anne, “How was your flight?”
“Great,” she replied, “one of the most relaxing ever.”
“Me too!”

A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks
him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite
serious but can be cured with a small course of two suppos- itories
inserted deep up the back passage. The man agrees, and so the doctor
warns him of the pain, tells him to bend over, and shoves the thing way
up his behind. The doctor then hands him the second dose and tells him
to do the same thing in six hours time using rubber gloves and KY-Jelly
or something.

So, the man goes home and later that evening tries to get the second
suppository inserted, but he finds he cannot reach himself properly to
obtain the required depth. Thus, he calls his wife over and tells her
what to do. The wife nods, puts one hand on his shoulder to steady him
and with the other shoves the medicine home. Suddenly the man screams
in disgust. “What’s the matter?” asked his wife. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” replies the man, “but I just realized that when the doctor did
that, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders.”

–

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I am a 29 year old male and work for a medium size corporation in
Long Beach. I am single but have a 27 year old girlfriend that
would knock the socks off any man. Mandy is five seven, blonde hair
and blue eyes with the most fantastic body ever. She worships me
and we get along great. Best of all, when I want it, she never says
no. That is why I can’t figure out why what happened, happened.

In our office, there are a few young attractive women and a lot of
women in the 35 to 45 age range. All or most of them are married
and have families. This one lady, Peggy, is about 40, oriental,
very attractive for her age and her figure is still dynamite. She
has nice medium-size breasts and shapely legs. She has a few lines
in her face but her hips have a motion to them when she walks on
her high heels that attract any man’s eyes. Peggy is a real
sweetheart. She is always kind and considerate. She always dresses
very professional and is the last woman I would suspect of having
an office affair.

So, we were working on a project together one week and spending a
lot of time working in the file room. The file room is in the
basement and is pretty secluded and there is almost never any one
in there. This is a large room with row after row of four drawer
file cabinets. There is really too much stuff in there for the size
of the room because the aisles are rather narrow. On our second day
down there, Peggy was wearing a long, conservative white dress and
white high heels. I had seen her in this dress before. She was made
up as usual and actually looked quite attractive. We were both
working in the end aisle which had only one way in and out. It was
so narrow that we could not squeeze past each other without making
body contact. That morning as I squeezed past Peggy a couple of
times, I noticed two things. First, she was wearing some kind of
perfume that drove me nuts. Second, her dress was a wrap around
type that was tied at the waist and I don’t know if it was the
tight quarters or what, but as I squeezed past her and looked down
over her shoulder, I could see part of her very sexy white lace and
satin bra and, of course, what was in it. The next time I had to
squeeze past her, I got an even better view of her cleavage and it
was starting to arouse me.
A little while later, Peggy asked me a question and as I turned to
answer her, I noticed that the edge of her dress was caught on a
file drawer and as she had turned away from the drawer, it had
pulled the bottom of her dress open enough to expose her right leg
to me. I was stunned for just an instant by the sight of her very
sexy leg and the fact that she appeared to be wearing stockings
instead of pantyhose. All I could see was just a hint of what
appeared to be the top of a stocking.

Then, she must of felt a draft or something and I told her she was
caught at the same moment. She quickly turned away, embarrassed and
apologizing. Over the next couple of hours and through lunch, all
I could think about was what I had seen and how excited it made me.

After lunch, things went on as normal until about three o’clock. I
had been working at the end of the same aisle as Peggy. She was
about half way down from me working with a drawer in front of her
open, one behind her open, and one behind and just a little past
her open. I had an arm full of files I was carrying out and alerted
her that I was coming down the aisle. She tried to hurry and make
way for me but just as I got to her she pushed the drawer in front
of her closed and quickly turned and closed the one behind her in
one fluid motion. At the same moment, I reached her position and
slipped on a pen on the floor. The result was amazing.

The tie from her dress had gotten caught in the drawer in front of
her when she closed it and as she turned to close the drawer behind
her, it pulled loose. Feeling something was wrong as she was
closing the drawer behind her, she turned quickly back toward the
first drawer and in so doing, got the edge of her dress caught on
the drawer behind her. As it slid closed, it pulled her dress
apart. A fraction of a second later, I step on the pen, slip, drop
files everywhere so I can catch hold of something to keep from
falling. I end up pressed against Peggy with her back against the
file cabinet. Her dress was open and her sexy white lace and satin
covered body was before me. Our faces were a few inches apart and
I was suddenly seized by the impulse to kiss her sexy red lips. I
did it. I kissed her on the mouth for just an instant. She didn’t
do anything but just look at me. I moved my lips forward and kissed
her again. This time, it was longer and she started to respond. As
she responded her mouth opened slightly and her lips became softer
and wet and warm. My hands moved up to her sides and gently took
hold of her. “NO! Neal, I can’t. We can’t.” she said and turned her
back to me.

I was so hot for her and I had a huge hard-on. I started to kiss
her neck as I whispered that it was alright and that no one need
ever know that we enjoyed each other one afternoon. As I kissed her
neck, my hands slid up the front of her torso and found her soft,
full breasts in her bra. She was moaning softly as I started to
caress her. Then she said, “No Neal, please. We can’t. I am
married.” as she said it she pushed my hands from her breasts. I
was too fired up to quit so easily. I whispered to her, “Yes we
can. Just this once. No one will ever know.” and as I said it, I
started to kiss her neck again and my hands found her breasts
again. She moved my hands away again but they were quickly back.
This time she didn’t move them away and as I caressed her through
her bra, I could feel her nipples harden. I felt her gently push
her body back against mine and when she felt my stiff cock against
her ass, she moaned.

My right hand slid down to the string tie that was holding part of
the left side of her dress across the front of her body and untied
it. She kept whispering, “No. No. No.” but her body was saying yes,
yes, yes. My hands now reached up and slid her dress from her
shoulders, down her arms and off. I quickly tossed it onto the file
cabinet. Her back was still to me but I didn’t care. What she was
wearing excited me like never before. She wore a white lace
garterbelt that matched her bra. Her panties were high cut and
white silk with only thin straps across her hips. My hands had
returned to her breasts and I was now rubbing my erection against
her silky panties. My fingers slipped into the cups of her bra and
found her erect nipples, but it was so tight and confining that I
couldn’t do anything. Her breasts needed to be freed. My fingers
found the clasp of her bra between the cups and popped it loose.
Then I slowly peeled the cups back to release her breasts. As I did
so, she moaned slowly and deeply. She whispered, “I haven’t been
touched like this in six years. OH GOD! it feels so good.” Her
posture had changed as I now pinched her nipples. She was bent
slightly forward with her ass pushed hard against me. Finally I
slid my right hand down to the crotch of her panties and found them
to be hot and wet. It excited me so much that I almost came. I
started to rub her through her panties and her moans grew louder
and more intense. I couldn’t stop now, I had to have her.

She had finally given in and had reached her hand back and was
stroking me through my pants. I moved my left hand down and opened
my belt and fly. My slacks slid down my legs to the floor. She
grabbed hold of me through my underpants but wasn’t satisfied. She
started to push them down my leg and I helped her. My cock was free
and harder than ever before. She stroked it like an expert.

She was wearing her panties outside the straps of her garter belt.
I grabbed her panties and slid them down to her ankles where she
kicked them off. Then she parted her legs and I slid my hand right
down and a finger right into her. She was almost coming instantly
and I decided it was time. She bent forward more and pushed her ass
up and back. I bent my knees a little and positioned myself
directly behind her. I guided my cock to her waiting pussy lips and
then with one thrust, buried it into her. She was now screaming at
me to fuck her hard. I was pushing into her hard and she was
meeting my thrusts. She felt so good. Her pussy was actually
massaging and sucking on me. No woman had ever felt like this
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Finally, someone said, “Oh, Jane, this is Len Josephs.”

“Len! Wow! I’ve always wanted to meet you!” We shook hands, but wound up
hugging one another. Len and I had exchanged some mail years before, and
admired one another’s work. Instantly, I wanted to take him to bed. It was
quite a shock because I don’t normally feel that strongly about someone
seconds after meeting him. It was literally lust at first touch.

Since we had friends in common, we went to dinner together. Now, I’m not
the sort of woman who picks men up. It simply had never happened before.
I’d had the occasional extra-marital lover, but it had always been with a
friend, not with someone I’d just met. I fought with myself all during
dinner. How obvious could I be with him about the way I felt? Could I
actually say to him, “I’d love to make love with you.”? While Len and I
wound up sitting together at dinner, and while he made me laugh a lot, he
seemed to back off when my knee rested against his. Well, I knew he was
married, so maybe he didn’t fool around. Still, I felt like someone had
shot me full of speed. I shook like crazy, and felt about ready to fly off
the chair, just looking at him.

After dinner, he went back to his room. I went back to my room. I paced
around a lot. He’d given his friends his room number, and I’d memorized it.
I walked to the elevator, went to his floor and stood before his door. I
raised my hand to knock…then turned and returned to my room.

I guessed I wasn’t the sort of woman who can knock on a man’s door, without
a reason other than to ask “Wanna fuck?”.

Suddenly, I realized I had a book he’d expressed some interest in at dinner.
I took the book and practically bolted back to his room. This time, my hand
connected with the door. When he opened the door, he had a genuinely
shocked expression on his face, but I talked over it. “I’m sorry if I
disturbed you, but I thought you’d be interested in seeing this.” I said,
going into his room without further invitation.

“Oh, no problem. I was just resting.” We sat down on the beds and looked
at the book together. Eventually, I sat on the bed beside him. As we
looked at the book, we sat closer and closer together. Finally, he took my
hand and squeezed it hard. “I’m going over to Lori’s party for a while.
Do you want to come back later?”

“Oh, yes! I don’t normally do this sort of thing, but I really want to come
back.”

“I don’t want to stay over there for TOO long.”

“Me neither.” We stood up and kissed. As hot as I felt, he felt hotter.
But it didn’t show on his face the way it had to be showing on mine. I kept
feeling myself turning red in front of him.

“What about precautions….”

“Well, I’m not too concerned. My period ended yesterday…”

“I’d better go get some condoms.”

I felt severely embarrassed, being a college-educated, Planned-Parenthood
trained woman. At least if I was on the verge of behaving irresponsibly, I
had the good luck to find someone who WASN’T. “You’re absolutely right.
Sorry about that.”

“It’s OK,” he kissed me again, his tongue brushing my lips.

I dashed back to my room, slipped into something more comfortable (yet
socially acceptable), and went to Lori’s room. Many old friends were there,
but I couldn’t engage in coherent conversation. My thoughts and eyes kept
drifting to Len, who sat in a corner, talking. Finally, after a day-long
half hour, I went out of the party and down to the bar. I kept calling
Len’s room, to see if he’d gotten the hint and had returned to his room. No
dice. After yet another overly long half-hour, I returned to the party. He
was still there. Whew! I wandered the party a bit, then returned to the
hallway. Len followed after a moment.

“I thought you’d changed your mind.” he said sadly.

“God no. I just can’t sit still. Can we go now?”

“Yes.” We walked to the elevator, relieved that there was no one in it. I
took his hand, but we dropped hands as soon as the door opened on his floor.
No one was in the hall either, so we walked to his room together.

We were both nervous. I ran to the bathroom. He turned on the TV. “Can we
turn it off?” I asked, turning on the light across the room.

“I don’t mind.” I turned the set off and joined him on the bed. We kicked
off our shoes and laid back, just holding hands and watching each other at
first. His hands were large and bony and very strong. I suppose I have
something of a hand fetish, because just stroking his hands really turned me
on.

As we kissed, his tongue filled my mouth, and I sucked on his tongue until
my lips were sore. He played with the straps of my dress, reaching his
hand into the front to play with my bra. He took off the dress, but had a
little problem with the bra—it was one of those strapless affairs with
innumerable hooks. He took the bra off and suckled hard on my breasts. I
lay back on the bed, caressing his neck and beginning to moan in pleasure.

I finally sat up enough to help him off with his clothes. I had as much
trouble with his sansa-belt slacks as he’d had with my bra earlier. But he
helped out, and I found him hard and hot. He lay on top of me, his cock
rubbing against my underpants. My clit began trembling against his heat.
He reached inside, stroking my clitoris. “You’re so wet,” he murmurred.

“I’m not usually THIS bad…” I said, running my hands up and down his back.
My underpants were literally dripping from six hours of thinking about him and
a half hour of foreplay. Already, waves of pleasure were streaming through
my body. I remembered some of the net jokes about “If this is just
foreplay, tonight is going to kill me.” I wondered what my husband would
think if I died in the arms of another man…

I leaned forward and tentatively took his penis in my mouth. He was longer,
but narrower than what I was used to. He moaned, working my underpants off.
I sucked on him harder, feeling his cock get even hotter.

He pushed me off, laying me back and spreading my legs. “Aren’t you going
to go down on me?” I asked watching him grab for his condoms.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted that.”

“Not want it??! Please, do!”

He fell between my legs, his pointed tongue pushing hard against my clit.
I became even wetter, some from his tongue, but mostly from my incredibe
rate of arousal. His tongue was very forceful, feeling more like a slick
finger than a tongue. He licked me out, his tongue darting in and out of
my vagina.

Finally he rose, and put the condom on effortlessly. He knelt and slid
very slowly into me, like someone using an iron poker to make a fire flare.
I pulled him in tight, feeling about ready to explode. Very gradually, we
moved together. I pulled my legs up to let him in ever further. We
shifted around quite a bit, and I took some time on top, pressing my hips
into his. An orgasm hit me so hard that my knees went weak, and I fell on
my arms to avoid hitting him.

We flipped over again, and he began pumping into me vigorously. He pulled
up my leg and wrapped it wround his shoulder. His face, usually so bland,
positively glowed as I came again. I couldn’t stop moaning. He finally
came, rolling aside and stroking my belly. The whole lower half of my
body spasmed, and I couldn’t speak for a moment.

“Same time, next year?” he asked.

“Oh!” We held onto one another, giggling. “It’s funny…that’s the
kind of lover I always wanted.”

I was amazed by how quickly he was ready to come again. I was certainly
more than ready myself! As we made love again, every nerve in my body
trembled. My body throbbed in utter pleasure. The experience reminded me
of a very long weekend my then-boyfriend (now husband) shared long ago.

We attempted to sleep together. He was far more successful than I. I found
it impossible to sleep when I was tingling so much. I finally drifted off.
When I woke up, I saw his eyes looking down on me. “Good morning,” he said,
his soft voice arousing me as much as his touch had the night before.

“Hi.” I reached up and started playing with his hair.

“How are you?” He kissed me.

“I’m tired…but terrific otherwise.” I kissed him back hard, noticing that
his penis was standing at attention under his pajamas. “Do you want to…?”

“Hmmm…” He took off his pajamas. I took off my slip, he put on a condom
and was inside me instantly. My orgasm built quickly, and I kept trying to
muffle myself, worrying that I might wake up the folks in the next room. I
sucked on his fingers, trying to quiet myself.

When we were done, I clung to him. The notion of leaving him tore at me.
But, I knew we both had roommates to consider for the duration of the
conference, and various responsibilities. I kept telling him how wonderful
he’d been, and he kept telling me how exhausted he felt. Finally, I knew I
had to leave, so I kissed him goodbye and went to my room for a much-needed
shower and a change of clothes.

I ran into him often over the next week. I particularly remember joking
with him in the bar the next night, with our respective roommates almost
within earshot. That night, after being awake for nearly two days, I laid
down on my bed as my roommate brushed her teeth in the bathroom. Just
lying down made my whole body quake, as if he were laying beside me and
taking me from behind. It was as if I was in bed with a demon. I don’t
think my roommate heard my sudden, load moan. I bit my lips and shifted my
position. It was so strange to feel myself coming without being touched,
but them, the previous 24 hours had been pretty strange.

Len and I never could work out a reunion that week. In some ways, it
didn’t matter. The night with him sent my body into what felt like a
two-month orgasm. I could feel his cock slide into me, or his tongue move
against my clit. I spent much of that week blushing. For two months, I
couldn’t make love with my husband without feeling Len. That was very
frustrating, because Len and I could never be any more than long distance
lovers. But after about two months, I approached love-making with my
husband with renewed zeal, and started appreciating him again for the fine
lover that he is.

And Len? He turned out to be a terrific one-night stand.

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A young girl asked her mother “Mommy, do you get into heaven feet first?”

“I don’t know, why do you ask?”

“Because the maid’s upstairs with her feet in the air, shouting `God, I’m
coming, God, I’m coming,’ but dad’s on top and won’t let her go.”

–

Read this and weep, oh you millions who lust after dinosaur dingdongs.
This is the true story of a young girl, tender in years and thoughts,
who met RUINATION at the hands of yet another slick Hollywood type, the
one and only potentate of the preschool set, BARNEY.

Friday, July 30
Dear Diary:

Wow, I’m so excited! Today I got my first job! It’s just too way
totally cool, too… I mean, right out of Peoria College of Television
Arts and Advertising Sciences and like I already have a JOB! Oh, I am
so happy. I can’t wait. I am going to be – get this, Diary Dear! – the
PERSONAL ASSISTANT to Barney the Dinosaur on the smash PBS educational
show! WOW, huh? I will be making seven big ones an hour, too!

Can’t wait to tell that snatch Debbie Fartgold about ye jobbe. She was
such a twat when she got that job as – woooooo, hold down the excitement
– software development coordinator at Jap-o Electronics, or whatever it
was called. Like I don’t know what SOFTware she’s developing! HAHA.

Monday, August 2
Dear Diary:

Today was the absolutely most STUNNING day of my whole LIFE. I got to
meet BARNEY, that beloved cuddly purple amphibian of MILLIONS and *I* am
his RIGHT ARM. He told me so! Really! Just like I mentioned to Mom
when I got home – he told me that I would be needing my right arm soon,
as his was getting pretty tired of doing it all himself! I see a lot
more RESPONSIBILITY coming my way, and maybe more $$$$$$$$! Soon I will
have my OWN TELEPHONE.

Mom says that Barney is not an amphibian. She says he’s an
“abomination”, whatever that is. I never saw that in MY biology book.

Tuesday, August 3
Dear Diary:

I think – and I would not dare to tell ANYbody but you this, Dear Diary
– that Barney LIKES me!!!!!!!!! He wants to do me a favor, he said so!
He put his arm around my shoulder and said “I love you, you love me -
let’s do each other, huh?”

He must have been sort of speechless by my presence, ’cause he forgot to
say “a favor”. Well, when you are a BIG STAR like Barney, you’re under
a lot of pressure. I know that too, ’cause he said the pressure in his
pants was getting BIG. Poor Barney! I’ll have to have some sharp words
with his tailor. Imagine keeping a STAR in pants he’s outgrown!

Wednesday, August 4
Dear Diary:

Barney is such a KID at heart! Today he asked me to play “Squeeze the
Play-Dough” with him! He has the greatest colors of Play-Dough, too…
sort of purplish. They must have made it especially for him. He likes
to make big purple bananas with it, I think. He asked me if I wanted to
taste his banana and waived it around in my face while I was hemming up
his new bigger pants.

It’s so nice to be around someone with a sense of HUMOR for a change.

Thursday, August 5
Dear Diary:

Boy, am I dumb! That wasn’t Play-Dough at all! It must be some kind of
new gum, ’cause when I put a little of it in my mouth to taste today, it
was sort of rubbery and then squirted all over my teeth!!!! It didn’t
taste too grapey, though. I told Barney they needed to work on the
flavor. He just sort of grunted and told me he’d eat some Now ‘n’
Laters tonight. Whatever that means.

I LOVE MY JOB!!!!

Friday, August 6
Dear Diary:

HE LOVES ME, I know it. He brought me CANDY today! It was a big
squooshy block of what he called Laffy Taffy! I pulled and pulled and
he just hooted and hollered and we had a GREAT time!!!!

I must admit that he seems to like that kind of candy with the squirty
stuff, though. The candy was just like the gum. He likes it when it
squirts all over my mouth and runs down my chin. Oh well! That’s why I
carry a hankie!!!!

Monday, August 8
Dear Diary:

I never realized that his job had MEDICAL and DENTAL benefits, too! It
is just SO COOL. Barney told me today that my wisdom teeth needed a
good swabbing, and offered to do it himself! I told him I was scared of
dentists, so he kindly offered to blindfold me. He is SO THOUGHTFUL.

Barney is a GENIUS. *It did not hurt a bit!!!!!* He strapped me in his
chair (if I wiggled too much I might get a nasty surprise, he said) and
then put the blindfold on. I must admit I gagged a bit when he put the
“swabber” in my mouth – it went all the way to the back of my throat!
He told me that my tonsils looked pretty grungy too, so he pushed and
pushed and pushed until he got the “cleaning solution” ready and then
popped it right down my throat. Boy, did I smile after that! My teeth
must SPARKLE! It took him almost twenty minutes to get those tonsils
clean!

Tomorrow he said he would show me how to be a “parts model” – all the
big magazines are looking for girls with clean thighs, he said. THIS
COULD BE THE BIGTIME FOR ME!!!!!

Tuesday, August 9
Dear Diary:

Barney IS SO NICE. Today he let me take a nap on his bed!!!! Imagine,
ME, just another girl from Peoria, lying on a real Hollywood style
couch! I must have been really tired, ’cause after I drank that glass
of grape juice Barney gave me, I got soooooo sleepy I just conked right
out! I must have slept for HOURS too, because when I woke up I was all
stiff and sore.

Oh Diary, you’re the only one I could whisper this to: I think I peed
myself in my sleep! How embarrassing! When I woke up I was all wet and
sticky from my you-know-where to my knees!

I have to lay off the grape juice, though, cause all of that pee-pee was
sort of purple.

Thursday, August 18
Dear Diary:

Didn’t go into work all this week. Feeling a little sort of queasy in
my tum-tum.

Tuesday, September 21
Dear Diary:

Sorry I haven’t written much lately, Dear Diary. I had to quit my job.
Barney told me I was getting fat and he didn’t like fat chicks around.
Haven’t been eating much, but my tummy is getting bigger every day.
Must have been all that candy I ate when I was happy and still with my
beloved Barney-buns.

I still like to sit and think about those happy days, pulling the taffy
with Barney, playing dentist and patient, and taking those restful naps.
Boy, those naps were refreshing. I always woke up kind of sore, but I
think it’s ’cause Barney’s couch. It called it is “hump couch” but I
think he meant “lump”. Sometimes it was hard to tell when he had that
cigar in his mouth.

Wednesday, October 1
Dear Diary:

The WEIRDEST THING has happened to me!!!!!!!! When I woke up this
morning, there were hundreds of FROGS in my bed! Can you IMAGINE?

Even weirder, though is… they call me “Mom”!

**************************************************************