How do you tell if a woman is wearing underwear?
Look for the dandruff on her shoes.
Why do women have 2 holes so close together?
In case you miss.
Why do women have 2 holes so close together?
So you can carry them home like a six-pack.
What do you call a female clone?
A clunt.
Why did the guy trade in his wife for an outhouse?
Because the hole was smaller and the smell was better.
Why is there a string on the end of a tampon?
So you can floss after you eat.
How does a girl hold her liquor?
By the ears!
How is a woman like a frying pan?
You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.
How is a woman like an airplane?
Both have cockpits.
How is a woman like a road?
Both have manholes.
Which of the group doesn’t belong (eggs,wife,meat,blowjob)?
A blowjob because you can beat the others but you can’t beat a blowjob
Ladies, look down inside your shirts and spell the word attic out loud.
Three mysteries of women:
1. They can give milk without eating grass.
2. They can bleed for a week every month without dying.
3. (My favorite). They can bury a bone without getting their
noses dirty.
What does a woman do to her asshole in the morning?
Sends him to work.
Your wife’s just like a rifle: First she gets cocked and then she blows.
Your wife’s just like a bowling ball: She gets picked up, fingered, thrown
in the gutter, and always comes back for more!
How many male Chauvinists does it take to clean a toilet ?????
None ! Thats womans work.
What two things in the air might get a woman pregnant?
Her feet!
If God didn’t want man to eat pussy, He wouldn’t have made it look
so much like a TACO!
What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
FULL!!
How can you tell if you’ve been fucking your girl too much?
A: Stick your thumb in her asshole and your middle finger up her snatch,
If you can hear yourself snap your fingers, ease off a little.
How does a women get a mink coat ?
The same way mink gets a mink.
What do the two million battered wives in America all have in common?
They don’t know when the hell to shut up.
———-
A woman goes to the gynecologist with a terrible case of
crotch rot. The doctor takes one whiff & almost passes out.
“My dear,” says the Doc, “this is serious! What you need is Mega Douche!”
“Mega Douche?” says the woman, “What’s that?”
“It’s my own formula! It contains marijuana, talcum powder
& Kentucky fried chicken.”
“Why marijuana, talcum powder & fried chicken?”
“Because you wanna keep that thing high & dry & finger lickin good!”
———–
Three men were sitting on a beach; a fairly good-looking blonde walks by.
The first man says, “I give her a six”; the second, “I give her a 7″; the
third says, “She is a 1.” The other two look at him and wonder. Another
woman walks by. The first man says, “She is an 8″; the second says, “I give
her an 8+”; the third says, “She is a three.” Again the first two men wonder
about him. Then an extremely fine-looking redhead approaches. The first man
says, “She is a 10!” The second man says, “She is an 11!!” The third guy
says, “She is a six.” The other two finally look at him and say, “What is the
matter with you, man?? That redhead is perfect!! Are you weird or
something??”
“Wait a minute–you don’t understand; I use the Budweiser scale.”
“What the hell is that?”
“That’s how many clydesdales it would take to pull her off my face.”
———————————-
How A Pussy Was Made
====================
Seven Wise Men made up their minds
to build then a Pussy of their own Design.
The First was a Carpenter, full of wit,
with a Hammer and Chisel, He made the Slit.
The Second, a Blacksmith, black as coal,
with an Anvil and Sledge, He made the Hole.
The Third, a Rich Tailor, tall and thin,
with a peice of Red Ribbon, He lined it within.
The Fourth, a Furrier, big and stout,
with the Skin of a Bear, He lined it without.
The Fifth, a Fisherman, old and bent,
with a Rotten Herring, He gave it a Scent.
The Sixth, a Preacher, with a B.A. degree,
Patted it, and Felt it, and said it would Pee.
The Seventh, a Rabbi, a Mean Little Runt,
Blessed it, and F*cked it, and called it a C*nt.
—————-
This young rich man was looking for a wife, and had narrowed
his choices down to 3 women. He couldn’t make up his mind on which
one he should marry, so he tested them. He gave each women $5,000
to see what they would spend it on. The first woman went out, bought
furs and jewels, and blew all the money on herself. The second woman
put half of it in the bank, and spent the rest of it on herself. The
third woman bought herself a dress, and many, many gifts for the young
man.
Given these facts, which woman do you think the young man
married?
answer: The woman with the biggest tits, of course!
——————
Chemical Analysis
Element : Woman
Symbol : WO
Discoverer : Adam
…End of the part2. To be continued..